Post by Isiah Zombie on Nov 10, 2007 11:18:26 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Finding a Replacement
Episode: 5
Original Post Date: November 10, 2007
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BigBoss is watching TV alone in his Shanty.
*Isiah Zombie walks in*
BigBoss: Where have you been? You were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago.
Isiah Zombie: I just finished walking my dog.
BigBoss: What? You have a dog? How come you never told me?
Isiah Zombie: I've actually told you several dozen times, thanks for listening...
BigBoss: Psh... I hate pets.
Isiah Zombie: Why?
BigBoss: I once had a parrot with a 300 word vocabulary.... sadly enough, it couldn't say the words "I - ATE - GLASS".
Isiah Zombie: ...Yeah, well, umm... my dog has his own homepage...
*Monkeysarefunny runs in*
Monkeysarefunny: OMG! IZ! I have something important to tell you! I- I..... I.... *Collapses*
Isiah Zombie: ......What? BB, HELP!
*10 minutes later*
Monkeysarefunny: *slowly opens eyes* W-Where am I?
BigBoss: You fainted on my floor.... and you made a mess.
Isiah Zombie: Are you okay? You scarred me.
BigBoss: So what was the important news you had to tell IZ?
Monkeysarefunny: I... I... I don't remember.
Isiah Zombie: ......Are you messing with me MAN?
Monkeysarefunny: Shut up and make me some lunch! I'm feeling... pot-roasty. *slowly stands up and walks away*
*Steven walks in*
Steven: Hey mates.
Isiah Zombie: Hey Steven, where have you been?
Steven: I just came back from my own bar. It's called "The Prince Bar." Good place to meet some new blokes, mate.
Isiah Zombie: Well we could use some new people here for the Thanksgiving reunion next week.
Steven: Just round-up some of the old members.
Isiah Zombie: We tried that with TheHeartless..... and we failed miserably.
Steven: You saw TheHeartless? How is he?
BigBoss: Looked like he was having the time of his life.
Isiah Zombie: Look at ourselves - we're pathetic! You know what? Forget about him! We should go out there and find a replacement!
Steven: You guys could come to my bar if you want to meet new people.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, let's go right now!
*Everyone walks outside*
Isiah Zombie: Uhh, where's my car? I always park my car right here.
Steven: We need two cars if we want to go.
Monkeysarefunny: Who wants to ride in my pimp-mobile?
Isiah Zombie: We need two practical cars, Monkey.
Monkeysarefunny: Having two practical cars seems a little..... impractical.
Isiah Zombie: But seriously, WHERE IS MY CAR?
Monkeysarefunny: Who cares? Let's go to the bar already.
*Steven, BB, IZ, and Monkey head out to "The Prince Bar" to find a new replacement for TheHeartless*
At the bar...
Steven: Well we're here. Go sign up for a table. *Walks away*
Isiah Zombie: Hey monkey, go sign us up for a table.
Monkeysarefunny: (with green backpack) Why me?? *opens backpack* Hey Donutz, you can come out of now.
Admiral Donutz: *crawls out of backpack* Ahhhh. Good morning guys.
Isiah Zombie: G'morning.
BigBoss: G'morning.
Admiral Donutz: "G'morning"? Can't you guys even give me the "ood"?
Isiah Zombie: ....Shutty.
Monkeysarefunny: I'll sign us up, and it'll be hilarious!
Isiah Zombie: Oh I can't wait... psh.
*10 minutes later*
Waiter: Freely? Party of four?
Monkeysarefunny: *Whispers* That's us, heh heh.
Isiah Zombie: ...You signed us up as Freely? How the hell is that hilarious?
Monkeysarefunny: Watch this. HEY YOU!
Waiter: Yes?
Monkeysarefunny: Which Freely is that?
Waiter: *checks list* I.P. Freely?
Monkeysarefunny: Hahahahah KA-POW!
Isiah Zombie: I pee freely.... wow, you are funny.
Monkeysarefunny: Really?
Isiah Zombie: ....Funny looking.
Monkeysarefunny: Boo - you're no fun.
*BB, IZ, Monkey and Donutz sit at a table*
BigBoss: Nice booth.
Monkeysarefunny: I love booths, they're like a vacation - but for your ass.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, so what are we looking for in our replacement?
Admiral Donutz: Let's get someone who was like TheHeartless.
BigBoss: No! He'll just leave us the same way.
Monkeysarefunny: ....Oh yeah, this seat's nice.
Isiah Zombie: Well I was thinking of getting someone who's funny, but not someone who's as funny as I am.
Admiral Donutz: Everyone knows I'm the funny one of the group.
BigBoss: What? You're the least funniest of us all.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Maybe I should put a booth in my apartment...
Isiah Zombie: Either way! The replacement should be someone who isn't like any of us, you know, so we even out.
Admiral Donutz: You mean like an angry person?
BigBoss: ...We have Rex for that.
Monkeysarefunny: Maybe we should look for a girl?
Isiah Zombie: Huh?
Admiral Donutz: What?
BigBoss: Pshaw?
Monkeysarefunny: What is it IZ - you afraid? Are you a baby? Boo-hoo?
Isiah Zombie: No I'm not the baby, you're the baby, because you're always saying things that don't make any sense - that's CLASSIC BABY.
Admiral Donutz: You know, I used to be baby, but I learned to just walk it off.
BigBoss: Hey, this is not a bad idea. So who does the scouting?
Monkeysarefunny: *hold up straws* Whoever picks the shortest straw does it.
*Everyone picks straw*
Isiah Zombie: *Sigh* And of course I get the small one....
Admiral Donutz: KA-POW!
BigBoss: Psh... noob.
Monkeysarefunny: Alright, see that girl two tables over? Go to her IZ - go to her.
Isiah Zombie: Gahhhhh.........
*IZ walks over to girl*
Isiah Zombie: Hey, I was wondering if-
*Girl stands up and walks away*
Isiah Zombie: -if you would like to embarrass me horribly in front of all my friends.
*IZ slowly walks back*
BigBoss: Hey IZ, can you say "I - ATE - GLASS"?
Monkeysarefunny: Hah hah, loser.
Admiral Donutz: Maybe she just walked away to get some Hennessy's Cognac...
BigBoss: Or maybe she walked away because of his giant pineapple-shapped head!
Isiah Zombie: *sits down* My head is not pineapple-shaped, if anything, it's shaped like a honeydue.
Monkeysarefunny: You wish it were.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, like I'd waste a wish on that... so anyways, what are we going to do about our replacement?
Admiral Donutz: I really don't think we need a replacement. Just look at us, we're having a great time - not because of the number of our members, but because of the content of our character. And IZ, because you're the admin of the shanty you might feel the need to be important, but remember this: It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Monkeysarefunny: ......Wow, that was..... inspirational. *sniff*
BigBoss: Oh here come the water works.
Isiah Zombie: I think I see your point Donutz.
Admiral Donutz: Although.... if you really wanted a lot of members you should've prepared for it - and remember: failure to prepare is preparing to fail.
Isiah Zombie: Enough with the quotes.
Admiral Donutz: To be, or not to be-
Isiah Zombie: ...Shutty.
*Waiter walks to table*
Waiter: May I take your order?
Isiah Zombie: I'm hungry - let's order so much steak that we can rebuild the cow!
Monkeysarefunny: I have a question: If a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
Waiter: May I take your order??
BigBoss: I'll eat anything that doesn't have a driver's license... I'd even eat my own foot if it were deep-fried in bacon.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey I found a steal of a deal on this A1 steak sauce.
Isiah Zombie: You brought your own Steak sauce? *Snatches steak sauce* This isn't steak sauce, it's toothpaste.
Monkeysarefunny: Read the label you illiterate baboon.
Isiah Zombie: *Reads label* Okay, you wrote this with a ballpoint pen and you misspelled "steak".
Admiral Donutz: What's this on the bottom? *snatches steak sauce* You drew something here, what is it?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh I was just drawing a new logo for McDonalds.
Isiah Zombie: Are they looking for one?
Monkeysarefunny: ......No.
Waiter: May I take your order NOW?
Isiah Zombie: Ah shutty.
Waiter: I have a lot of tables to look over.
Monkeysarefunny: Get OVER yourself.
Waiter:
Isiah Zombie: Hey... you wouldn't like to join our group as a replacement, would you?
Waiter: .....*walks away*
Monkeysarefunny: IZ, I'm getting the feeling that we don't appeal to many people.
Admiral Donutz: Well MAF, you do set up a lot of pranks...
Monkeysarefunny: What? Are you saying it's my fault that we don't have any members?
Admiral Donutz: Y-Yes?
BigBoss: Alright, if we're not going to eat we might as well leave.
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh, didn't we come in Steven's car?
Isiah Zombie: ....Which reminds me, what happened to my car? I always park it in front of BB's shanty...
Monkeysarefunny: Oh now I remember!!
Isiah Zombie: What?
Monkeysarefunny: Remember when I collapsed earlier today? I had important news to tell you.
Isiah Zombie: Oh... yeah, what was it?
Monkeysarefunny: I saw someone stealing your car.
Isiah Zombie: ...........
BigBoss: Did you see who it was?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes I did.... it was.....
Leo the Vampire.
Isiah Zombie: He knows where we live? DAMN. Well I guess I'll just have to invite him for next week's Thanksgiving reunion to set things straight...
Admiral Donutz: So how are we supposed to get back to BB's Shanty if we don't have a car?
Monkeysarefunny: You could trade something valuable for magic beans and then hand the beans over for a ride.
Isiah Zombie: Or you could just ASK someone for a ride.
Monkeysarefunny: Boo - you're no fun. But before we go I have to take a leak.
Isiah Zombie: Why? I thought that you pee FREELY?
Admiral Donutz: KA-POW... Anyways, I'll see you guys next week at the Turkey Day reunion. *crawls back into backpack*
Isiah Zombie: Yes, until then.... heh heh, I can't wait.
