Post by Isiah Zombie on Mar 29, 2008 11:21:45 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
St. Patricks Dance Off
Episode: 25
Original Post Date: March 29, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Admiral Donutz are standing outside of BB's Shanty....
Admiral Donutz: So where do we go now? BigBoss kicked us out of his Shanty...
Isiah Zombie: Wait a minute, doesn't Monkey have his own apartment somewhere else?
Monkeysarefunny: I do have my own apartment, but it has land mines and stuff for security...
*w00tdude approaches*
w00tdude: Hiya! Why are you all standing outside?
Admiral Donutz: We're all going to live somewhere else.
w00tdude: What?? Why??
Isiah Zombie: It's a long story.
w00tdude: Well good news. I have nowhere to be for the next 8 days.
Isiah Zombie: Well in that case, it all started about one week ago... on St. Patricks Day... *everything gets blurry*
*One Week Earlier...*
Isiah Zombie is in BB's Shanty alone drinking coffee and reading the newspaper when Admiral Donutz walks in.
Admiral Donutz: Hey IZ, you know how we're always low on cash all the time?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah... thanks for reminding me on how much of a failure I am...
Admiral Donutz: Well anyways, I have the solution to that problem. Steven is having a dance-off contest at the Prince Bar with a big jackpot prize of $10,000.
Isiah Zombie: Oh I see.... so after the winner wins the prize money, we kidnap him, take the money, make a ransom, and-
Admiral Donutz: -No, I've decided to join the dance competition.
Isiah Zombie: Wait... you can dance??
Admiral Donutz: Yes, I am trained in the art of 'Stepmania' and have been dancing ever since I was a child.
Isiah Zombie: What is 'Stepmania'?
Admiral Donutz: It is the hardest dance technique to learn in the world. I am the best Stepmania dancer ever. At least I think so.
Isiah Zombie: ...And why am I barely figuring out about this now?
Admiral Donutz: Because you never asked.
Isiah Zombie: Ah.... well my plan of kidnapping the winner can still work if you lose...
Later that day, at the Prince Bar....
Steven: Hey, mates. Glad you could make it. The dance-off competition starts in 30-minutes.
Admiral Donutz: That's 29 more minutes than I need.
Isiah Zombie: I like that attitude! Oh yeah, Donutz is gonna sweep this dance-off!
*Monkeyarefunny walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Hey cool! The Prince Bar has a billiards table! Let me go set it up!
Isiah Zombie: No Monkey, that game is racist. The white ball hits a bunch of colored balls and saves the black ball for last.
Monkeysarefunny: Umm, well.... if you look it at that way....
Steven: Oh and by the way, there are people from all over the country who will be competing and they all have different dance styles. So be prepared for anything and everything.
Admiral Donutz: That doesn't matter. My 'Stepmania' technique will destroy everyone here-
*Window Glass-Shatter!*
Leo Vampire: -Not so fast, Admiral Donutz!
Admiral Donutz: Huh? Leo? What are you doing here??
Leo Vampire: As you may know, I prize myself with eliminating any chances of success that you three may have.
Isiah Zombie: Dude, seriously, why do you keep doing this?
Leo Vampire: Vampires and zombies are long lost enemies, therefor, since these two guys are your friends, I would like to see them go down as well.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh.... loser. I've seen Donutz dance before. You can't keep up with his crazy dancing skillz!
Leo Vampire: I agree.
Monkeysarefunny: Wait...... what? You agree?
Leo Vampire: Indeed. For that purpose, I have employed the likes of another great dancer. The foreign exchange member of my site - all the way from Finland, I present to you... Snakebyte! .... Behold! *takes off backpack and unleashes SNAKEBYTE*
Snakebyte: ..............RAWR!
Admiral Donutz: He's a snake.
Isiah Zombie: With arms.
Monkeysarefunny: And legs.
Steven: And he looks like a cobra. So, mister Snakebyte, would you like to sign up for my dance-off competition?
Snakebyte: Ahem.... RAWR!
Leo Vampire: ...That means yes, by the way.
Steven: Alright, mate, sign here.
Snakebyte: *starts to sing* "RAWR RAWR RAWR, Chicka-RAWR Chicka-RAWR."
Steven: I said sign, NOT SING!
Isiah Zombie: ...I see a lot of similarities between Snakebyte and Donutz...
Monkeysarefunny: Well, it's about time Donutz got a rival.
Isiah Zombie: He's not a rival - he's an arch nemesis! Right Donutz?
Admiral Donutz: Durr. No.
30-Minutes later, as the dance-off is beginning...
Isiah Zombie: Alright Donutz, you have to beat these cheap scrubs before you can face off against Snakebyte.
Admiral Donutz: Psh... no worries. I'm sure Snakebyte can't beat my 'Stepmania' skillz.
Steven: (on microphone) Welcome everybody to my dance-off competition in the Prince Bar. The prize money is $10,000...... *sniff* ..... mates, I need to tell you something. The secret cannot be withheld any longer. I will be heading back to United Kingdom next week..... and this is my way of setting up a farewell party...
Admiral Donutz: But Steven! You've been training me to become your bartending partner for the past few months!
Steven: ...Donutz, I wasn't training a partner - I was training a replacement.
Monkeysarefunny: *Le Gasp!* ......Son of a Bee!
Steven: The truth is.... I love Lucy. I need to go back to the UK to see her again.... so try to send me off with a dazzling display of dancing performances!
A few moments later...
Isiah Zombie: Alright Donutz, your first opponent is against some guy named 'Pepto Dismal'.
Admiral Donutz: ...What a weird name.
Pepto Dismal: Oh yeah? Check out my surplus jacket! And my wrinkly long shirt with sandals! And my shirt with long flowy sleeves! You can't stop me! I beat you in style points! *music from giant speakers starts to play* Check out my dance moves! *starts to break dance*
Admiral Donutz: That's not impressive.
Pepto Dismal: Oh yes it is! *break dances right into the big speakers* Ahhh! *chicka-BOOM!* ........ *static*
Isiah Zombie: Now that's what I call break-dancing.
Admiral Donutz: So do I win?
Isiah Zombie: Well that guy got over-amplified.... so yes, you win by default.
Monkeysarefunny: Kay Donutz, your next opponent is Yoko Homo. She's a Japanese chick.
Yoko Homo: ........QUIET! INSOLENCE! I have an acupuncture done before every dance! I am more flexible than a slice of cheese!
Admiral Donutz: I guess I'll be eating a cheeseburger today....
Yoko Homo: *starts doing ballet dancing* ....La-la-la-*****es!
Monkeysarefunny: Donutz.... just because she looks like an easy opponent doesn't mean that she really is......... actually, that's a lie. Crush her.
Admiral Donutz: Step out of the way, Yoko Homo! *starts Rockhill Crashing* ................You can't stop me! Sweep!
*crowd applauds and cheers frantically*
Monkeysarefunny: Haha! Take that you homo piece of stale cheese!
Admiral Donutz: Okay MAF, don't rub it in.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah! Because when you rub cheese in, it gets all mushy and stuff!
Admiral Donutz: ... Not your best joke.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah.......... I felt it........
Isiah Zombie: After this next match, you'll face off against Snakebyte - assuming he still wants to challenge "Donutz the BEASTLY Dancer."
Admiral Donutz: Consider this competition over.
Monkeysarefunny: But first you have to dance against some retarded elf.
Retarded Elf: ...Do not underestimate the magic of elves! *does skippity-skip* Did you see that? I skipped that suckah! I'm going pro!
Isiah Zombie: Why don't you bipbidy bop your way into the furnace already?
Admiral Donutz: I've been saving my Hydrocity Dishwater TechLo Dance moves for a rainy day........ and boy is it pouring! Step out of the way, Retarded Elf! *does Stepmania* ...............HAHA! Continuing my sweep!
*crowd applauds Donutz*
Crowd Guy #1: Yet another ridiculously redundantly double deezy eazy yet neva sleazy jordanman spankin win for the Finnish DONUTkers.
Crowd Guy #2: Psh, just wait 'til da Finlandtonio Snakebyterz own da DONUTfakers.
*crowd shouts and chants Donutz's name*
Isiah Zombie: Wow, Donutz. You're famous now!
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, I know.
Monkeysarefunny: Fame can change many things, but it can't change a lightbulb...
Meanwhile, at the main bar....
*Caboose walks in*
Caboose: YARG, matey! What grub ye have thee?
Steven: I have some 'cheeky vinto' - that's a shot of port and a bottle of WKD blue. The drink goes purple, mate. Here try some, it's great. It tastes like cherries and blueberry.
Caboose: Alcohol shouldn't taste like fruit, ya cotton scallywag. Thee cutlass shall be forced upon thee! Have some real drink *hands over some Everclear*
Steven: Some what? If its beer or lager, I'll have Carlsberg or Grolch instead.....
Caboose: Nothing wrong with GOLDSCHLIK or Hennessey's Cognac, mate!
Steven: *sigh* .... I'm gonna miss this bar....
10-Minutes later, back at the dance competition...
Isiah Zombie: Whoo-hoo! It's the final round!
Steven: (on microphone) Well everybody, we've reached the final two contestants. The winner will receive $10,000! Who wants to go first?
Monkeysarefunny: We do! .......... not .......... want to say no ............ which is why we won't.
Leo Vampire: Snakebyte says he wants to go first. We will attempt to set the bar high.
Admiral Donutz: Why do you keep talking for the snake guy? Can't he speak for himself?
Isiah Zombie: Hey now, Donutz, don't be so rough. The "snake guy" has a name...... Umm...... I'm not sure what it is, but I'm sure he has one.
Snakebyte: RAWR! ..... I olen käsittää väärin.
Admiral Donutz: Ah. I see.
Snakebyte steps out onto the dance floor.
Snakebyte: *starts to dance to token songs*
Isiah Zombie: That dance technique looks familiar...
Admiral Donutz: That's because it's the second hardest dance technique in the world. It's known as "Flash Flash Revolution"!
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah, I remember I tried dancing that once. I got a max combo 3 - dammit!
Admiral Donutz: HAH! 3! HAHA!
Monkeysarefunny: Wowza..... Snakebyte is dropping some major kick-ass drop steps.
Snakebyte: .... *speeds up and matches steps* .... RAWRZORZ.
Leo Vampire: Boom! We just scored on yo' white ass!
*crowd shouts and cheers Snakebyte's name*
Admiral Donutz: Greeeat, now the crowd is against me. I don't think I can compete with that dance. Maybe I should just quit...
Isiah Zombie: Don't give up Donutz! I beleive in your quick feet! Here - let me help you!
*POW!*
Admiral Donutz: Owww..... hey..... I'm blue now. What the heck?
Isiah Zombie: That should give you an unfair advantage!
Admiral Donutz: But it's St. Patrick's Day, I should be wearing green.
Isiah Zombie: That doesn't matter now! Dance! Be free and dance your heart out!
Admiral Donutz: Okay! Hey Snakebyte - check this out! *does Stepmania* ..... *Mix-down Inferno* .... *In the Groove* .... *Let it Flow Supremacy* .... *Brainwave Concerto*
Monkeysarefunny: Donutz is really giving it all he has out there.
Admiral Donutz: SNAKEBYTE! GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY!! RAWR THIS *Cyclone Side Slider*
Snakebyte: RAWRRR!! *bounces out of the Prince Bar*
Leo Vampire: Noooo!
Isiah Zombie: Hahah Leo! We kicked Snakebyte's ass!
Leo Vampire: ........But in my defense, Snakebyte isn't much of a go-getter. He's more of a sitter-arounder and reader-too mucher. I will get my revenge on you. Just you wait and see.... *vanishes in a puff of smoke*
Isiah Zombie: I liked your performance, Donutz. You were just you, you know?
Admiral Donutz: I am me, yes.
Steven: (on microphone) And the winner is Admiral Donutz! With the prize money of $10,000!
Admiral Donutz: Woooo !
Steven: And now, mates, I will take my leave..... farewell.... *walks out of the Prince Bar*
Monkeysarefunny: Wait! Steven! Don't go!
Steven: *returns*
Monkeysarefunny: *slaps Steven*
Steven: *leaves*
Monkeysarefunny: WHOOMP! THERE-IT-IS!
*One Week Later...*
Isiah Zombie: And that's what happened one week ago, w00tdude.
w00tdude: What does that dance-off have to do with you guys moving out of BB's Shanty??
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah, ten minutes ago BB kicked us out of his Shanty. He's inviting Wendy to move in with him.
w00tdude: Ah... That's all you had to tell me........
Admiral Donutz: So where do we go now? We have $10,000 dollars.
Isiah Zombie: Meh... I don't really care.... I need a nap right now.
Monkeysarefunny: Psh.... you're going to sleep alone again because you can't satisfy a woman!
Isiah Zombie: Hey man, I'm good in bed.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah.... you can sleep for hours. KA-POW!
Isiah Zombie: *ahem* Your mother. That is all.
The End