Post by Isiah Zombie on Dec 15, 2007 11:02:16 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Training Day
Episode: 10
Original Post Date: December 15, 2007
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Donutz are sitting in BB's Shanty.
Isiah Zombie: Wow, those repair guys really fixed the Shanty up nicely.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, good thing I didn't have to waste my lottery money on this house. So what did you use your share on?
Isiah Zombie: Who me? Golden shoes.
Monkeysarefunny: Well, that does seem more worthwhile..... and practical... and quite frankly, more important.
Admiral Donutz: I didn't get a share!
Monkeysarefunny: Yes, you said that before, and yes, we still don't care.
*BigBoss enters*
BigBoss: You guys are still here?
Isiah Zombie: Woah! BB! I haven't seen you in the longest time! I thought you left us?
BigBoss: Would you guys stop growing vaginas every time I'm gone for a little bit? I always come back.
Monkeysarefunny: Good to see you again, BigBoss.
BigBoss: Monkey, you still come here?
Monkeysarefunny: ...S-Shut up...
BigBoss: I see the same faces everytime I come back.
Monkeysarefunny: Well..... I could invite my cousin...
BigBoss: Cool! Do it! What's his name?
Monkeysarefunny: Mutton Butt.
Isiah Zombie: Wow, that's classy.
Monkeysarefunny: Yes, it is..... assloads of class...
Isiah Zombie: Should we invite him?
Admiral Donutz: Ayup.
Monkeysarefunny: I could get a hold of him..... let's meet up at Outback Steakhouse.
Isiah Zombie: Tell him to meet us at Chili's instead.
Monkeysarefunny: Chili's!! Where the food sucks slightly more!!
Isiah Zombie: Really? I happen to like it there...
BigBoss: Just invite him already.
Isiah Zombie: Oh BB, I forgot to tell you.... I lowered your moderator powers.
*POW!*
BigBoss: Owwww.... that hurt. What? I'm.... I'm blue now?
Monkeysarefunny: Heh.... blau.
One day later, at Chili's....
Monkeysarefunny: There's Mutton Butt, see him? *points to the distance*
BigBoss: Who? You mean the one that looks like a Donkey?
Isiah Zombie: Wow.... he seems..... nice.
Monkeysarefunny: No, NOT HIM!
BigBoss: Awww.... I had a whole bunch of insults ready for him.
Admiral Donutz: Is he the one talking to that gay waiter?
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, yeah, that's him.
Isiah Zombie: Invite him over.
Monkeysarefunny: *shouts* Hey Mutton Butt! Get your mutton butt over here!
*Mutton Butt walks over*
Mutton Butt: ....Um, don't call me that. My name is w00tdude.
Isiah Zombie: Hey, want to join our group?
w00tdude: ....Um, sure *sits down*
BigBoss: Hmmm.... I don't know about this one.
Monkeysarefunny: What do you mean?
BigBoss: No one enters my Shanty without my approval.
w00tdude: Teh awwwws...
BigBoss: ...You have to impress me to be with us.
w00tdude: What do I have to do?
BigBoss: Do something, try to impress me.
w00tdude: *does shadow puppets*
BigBoss: .....Well congratulations on your fine accomplishment. I suspect you'll make it out of the 5th grade without a problem if you keep it up.
Monkeysarefunny: C'mon BigBoss, give the kid a second chance.
BigBoss: I think I've seen enough *stands up and walks out*
Isiah Zombie: ...Maybe if we trained w00tdude, BB would approve of him.
Admiral Donutz: Let's train w00tdude!
Monkeysarefunny: This is going to be tough....
*Gay waiter walks over*
Waiter: May I take your order ?
Isiah Zombie: Hmm, I think I'll have the-
Waiter: OMG! Do you like holding hands with members of the oppsite sex ?
Isiah Zombie: No, I like holding members with hands of the opposite sex. Anyways, getting back to my order-
Waiter: I know a man who'll go great with you!
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh.... what's going on here?
Isiah Zombie: Gay stuff, I'm outta here.
*everyone walks out*
w00tdude: So when do we begin my training?
Isiah Zombie: Rule #1: Never ask when your training is going to begin.
w00tdude: Oh, sorry...
Isiah Zombie: Good, now apologize.
Monkeysarefunny: He.... he just did...
Isiah Zombie: LET'S NOT waste any more time with your PATHETIC excuses!
Admiral Donutz: So what's lesson #2?
Isiah Zombie: Wootdude, you have to be cool.
w00tdude: How?
Isiah Zombie: A great man by the name of Haisi once said, "If you want to be cool, then you're not cool. If you think you're cool, then you're still not cool. If you know you're cool, then that's when you're cool."
w00tdude: So am I cool?
Isiah Zombie: ...You're right Monkey, this is going to be tough....
Later that same day, at Wal-Mart....
w00tdude: So you say I have to steer this shopping cart while I'm in it at high speeds to be cool?
Isiah Zombie: Yep.
w00tdude: Why?
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, why?
Monkeysarefunny: Because it's.... umm, it's cool.
w00tdude: No it isn't.
*FWACK!*
w00tdude: Owwwwwww! Why did you hit me, Monkey?
Monkeysarefunny: Because that's blasphemous! Rule #21: Never say that something "isn't" cool when you're around us.
Isiah Zombie: .......Do you normally hit Wootdude like that?
Monkeysarefunny: I wouldn't under normal circumstances, no.
Admiral Donutz: Now's just a special occasion.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Truer words were never spoken.
Isiah Zombie: ......That seems like child abuse.
Monkeysarefunny: Wow, you suck on top of suck. You suck so bad you're stupid.
Isiah Zombie: Oh here we go with the insults...
Monkeysarefunny: Yep, reminds me of my Freshman days.
Isiah Zombie: You mean, like, all 12 of them?
Monkeysarefunny: 12 more than YOU!
w00tdude: So do I start now?
Isiah Zombie: Almost.... here, take this *gives w00tdude a helmet* Safety first!
Monkeysarefunny: So who's going to push the cart?
Isiah Zombie: Push? Who said anything about pushing? I'm tying a rocket to the back of this suckah!
Monkeysarefunny: A rocket? But.... rockets explode!
w00tdude: Damn pyromaniacs...
Isiah Zombie: Rockets do explode! Alright, everybody back, I'm ready to light this thing!
Monkeysarefunny: Let me light it! I have "firestarter" skillz.
Isiah Zombie: Mmkay.
Monkeysarefunny: S'coo?
Isiah Zombie: S'coo.
Monkeysarefunny: *lights match attached to back of shopping cart* HUZZAH!
*POW! w00tdude's shopping cart goes flying straight through Wal-Mart*
Admiral Donutz: .........
Isiah Zombie: ...Did you see that? He went straight through the whole store and crashed right into the guitar section!
Monkeysarefunny: Good thing he was wearing a helmet.
Admiral Donutz: Should we check on him?
Monkeysarefunny: Nah, he'll be fine.
Isiah Zombie: What are you talking about? We just lit him up with a fricken rocket, man!
Monkeysarefunny: ...Do you really want him in the Shanty?
Isiah Zombie: What? Bringing him over was your idea!!
Monkeysarefunny: Can't I CHANGE my MIND??
Admiral Donutz: So you don't want him here?
Monkeysarefunny: Well....
*w00tdude stumbles back to the group covered in ash*
w00tdude: Whoa..... that was cool, right guys?
Isiah Zombie: Yes it was.
*w00tdude slowly starts to morph into coolness*
Monkeysarefunny: Ummm.... umm.... *presses B*
w00tdude: ......Huh? Why did you press B? I was about to evolve.......
Isiah Zombie: Maybe we should talk to BB again before we decide if you're cool or not.
Later that day, at the Shanty's footsteps.
Admiral Donutz: Alright, we're here. Let's talk to BB.
Ding-Dong..........
BigBoss: *answers door* Hey guys.
Monkeysarefunny: So do you think Mutton Butt is cool or not??
w00tdude: Am I cool to you?
BigBoss: ........
Isiah Zombie: Yes - you must decide now - because it is either all of us or NONE OF US!
BigBoss: ........
*10 Minutes later*
Monkeysarefunny: Nice going IZ.
Isiah Zombie: How was I supposed to know that he'd choose none of us over all of us?
Monkeysarefunny: Hmmm... maybe through logic, reasoning, and common sense....
Isiah Zombie: Great, now what do you want to do?
w00tdude: Let's go to Outback Steakhouse!
*Pimp Smack!*
w00tdude: Owwwwww! Why did you hit me again, Monkey?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't know. Just felt like it.
w00tdude: You! Donutz! Protect me!
Admiral Donutz: Huh?
Monkeysarefunny: Look Mutton Butt, Donutz just throws his shoes at me - I duck, and get on with my life.
w00tdude: Ummm..... you! IZ! Protect me!
Isiah Zombie: Hey, I don't promote violence. I just encourage it.
w00tdude: ....
Isiah Zombie: Let's go to Chili's again.
*everyone goes to Chili's*
Admiral Donutz: There's that gay waiter again....
Waiter: *walks over to table* May I take your order, sweetcreams ?
Monkeysarefunny: I'll have the fries.
Waiter: Today we're having our special frozen BLUE Fries !
Monkeysarefunny: Heh... azul.
Isiah Zombie: You know.... I think I'll have the-
w00tdude: I WANT TO BE COOL NOW DAMMIT! *lights match and throws it on floor*
The smoke detector alarm sounds and the sprinklers spray water everywhere.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Nice going Mutton Butt!
w00tdude: ...Now I feel suckish
Waiter: OMG Teh hide for cover !
All the lights go out.
Isiah Zombie: *in the dark* I've never been under a table with a bunch of dudes before.
Monkeysarefunny: Don't flatter yourself, IZ.
Admiral Donutz: I don't feel comfortable with this waiter here...
Waiter: Tee hee! *scratches balls, but whose balls?*
w00tdude: Eh... ewwww?