Post by Isiah Zombie on Jan 13, 2008 12:35:14 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
The Special Haircut
Episode: 14
Original Post Date: January 13, 2008 (Sunday Special)
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Admiral Donutz are in the Shanty together.
Isiah Zombie: Hey Monkey, would you ever have sex with a computer?
Monkeysarefunny: Depends, broadband or dial-up?
Isiah Zombie: Does it even matter?
Monkeysarefunny: Psh... yeah. My performance would be slowed down if I was on dial-up.
Isiah Zombie: Err.... fine, broadband then.
Monkeysarefunny: Hmm.... nah - too many viruses. Besides, the floppy disk only accepts 3 and half inches... if you know what I mean! KA-POW!
Isiah Zombie: Well maybe the firewall could block the viruses.
Monkeysarefunny: But then it would block the proxies and cookies.
Isiah Zombie: Heh.... cookies. What do you think a computer's favorite type of cookie is?
Monkeysarefunny: Umm.... chocolate chip?
Isiah Zombie: Maybe..... but if you do decide to have sex with a computer, just make sure its hard drive is up and its motherboard is out before you decide to do anything with it.
Monkeysarefunny: What if it has a password?
Isiah Zombie: Then I guess you'll just have to troubleshoot..... or call for technical support.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh...
Isiah Zombie: What about you Donutz? Would you get-it-on... on the online?
Admiral Donutz: I'm not going to bend over for technology.
*BigBoss walks in*
BigBoss: *looks at IZ* Dude.... you need a haircut.
Isiah Zombie: Your mom does.
BigBoss: I'm serious, you look like a 9-year old Gilligan.
Isiah Zombie: By the way, so does the real Gilligan.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey! Go to MY barber!
Isiah Zombie: Uhh... no thanks. I don't want to look like a hippy.
Monkeysarefunny: What's wrong with hippies?
Isiah Zombie: They're drug bunnies.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah but, the Cookie Monster makes so much sense when you're...... stoned.
Isiah Zombie: Fine, I'll go to your barber, but I ain't getting no Hippy Haircut!
Twenty minutes later, at the Barber Shop....
Barber Simmons: No Hippy Haircut for you, sir? But it looks great on Monkeysarefunny!
Isiah Zombie: ...Uhh... I don't want to look like him.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey Simmons, give him the "special haircut" that I've been telling you about.
Admiral Donutz: What's the special haircut?
BigBoss: Hoo boy, this is going to be good.
Isiah Zombie: Do you have a preview of what it looks like?
Monkeysarefunny: IZ, you just have to trust me on this one.
Admiral Donutz: Don't do it, IZ! It's another one of his pranks!
BigBoss: I'd like to see this go through, heh.
Barber Simmons: What do you say, sir? Should I give you the "special haircut" for today?
Isiah Zombie: ..........Sure.
Admiral Donutz: You IDIOT!
BigBoss: DUMBASS! But yeah.... I'd like to see this go through.
Monkeysarefunny: I promise, IZ, you're going to like this "special haircut."
Isiah Zombie: I hope so.... or else I'm going to whoop your pansy little hippie candy ass!
Barber Simmons: Right this way, sir! There is a small room hidden from view. I will cut your hair in there.
Isiah Zombie: Okay...
20 minutes later, in the small room out of view, Isiah Zombie and Barber Simmons are alone.
Barber Simmons: I finished the haircut, sir. Are you ready to see it?
Isiah Zombie: Show it to me.
*Barber Simmons turns IZ's chair toward the mirror*
Isiah Zombie: ............!
Barber Simmons: Do you like the haircut, sir?
Isiah Zombie: I..... I..... I look like a woman!
Barber Simmons: That's what the "special haircut" is, sir.
Isiah Zombie: BUT! This is a woman's haircut!
Barber Simmons: I thought you were a woman, sir.
Isiah Zombie: Then why do you keep calling me sir?
Barber Simmons: I don't know, sir.
Isiah Zombie: I don't believe this.... change it now!
Barber Simmons: I'm afraid I can't do that, sir.
Isiah Zombie: But why not??
Barber Simmons: You gave me your word, sir.
Isiah Zombie: What?? I didn't give you my word!
Barber Simmons: Monkeysarefunny game me your word, sir.
Isiah Zombie: GAH! Damn this!
*IZ walks out of small room*
BigBoss: Hey IZ, there you are....... heh, heh heh, heh heh HAH AHAH!
Admiral Donutz: HAH!
Monkeysarefunny: Heh heh heh...
Isiah Zombie: Stop laughing at my hair!
Monkeysarefunny: IZ, we're not laughing at how bad your hair looks, we're laughing with how bad your hair looks.
Isiah Zombie: You set me up, man!
Admiral Donutz: I warned you against it, you idiot.
BigBoss: Hey! You have something in your hair! *reaches over and rips off a piece of IZ's hair*
Isiah Zombie: Owww!
BigBoss: ...Oh... turns out it's just a clump of your hair...
Monkeysarefunny: KA-POW!
Isiah Zombie: You guys are going to regret this, I mean it!
BigBoss: I'm sorry, IZ. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Isiah Zombie: ...You didn't?
BigBoss: Nope.
Isiah Zombie: Well..... thanks, BB.
BigBoss: You're welcome Susan, now here *pulls out a dollar* go buy yourself something pretty.
Monkeysarefunny: KA-Fricken-POW!
Isiah Zombie: S-Shut up! *runs out*
BigBoss: Heh, loser.
Admiral Donutz: Yes he is a loser, but in my book, it's the losers that are the real winners.
BigBoss: ....But then what are the winners?
Admiral Donutz: They're still winners, you can't take that title away from them, after all, they did win.
Monkeysarefunny: How about loser, because only losers do drugs you loser.
Admiral Donutz: You're the hippie, remember?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah..... you don't think IZ will get his revenge against us, do ya?
Admiral Donutz: Only you, because you're the one who set him up.
Monkeysarefunny: I didn't do anything! It was Barber Simmons!
BigBoss: Well we better get out of here before IZ comes back...
IZ is alone at BB's Shanty talking on the phone.
Isiah Zombie: So Steven, you in?
Steven: (on phone) Let me get this straight. You want me to help you get revenge on the other members?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, so.... you in?
Steven: Will Caboose help you too?
Isiah Zombie: I already called him, so.... you in?
Steven: Did he say yes?
Isiah Zombie: YES! So ARE YOU IN OR NOT??
Steven: Sure, mate. How bad was your haircut anyways?
Isiah Zombie: You know the haircut that "Moe" from the Three Stooges had?
Steven: Yeah...?
Isiah Zombie: Well... I'd KILL for that!
Steven: Yikes!
Isiah Zombie: So I'll set up the plan... heh... this is gonna be good.
*One day later, at BB's Shanty*
BigBoss: So where has IZ been? I haven't seen him since he got the haircut yesterday.
Monkeysarefunny: He's probably getting the hair surgically removed.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, that's probably what he's doing...
*IZ walks in*
Isiah Zombie: So I see you guys are home.
Monkeysarefunny: There you are! Hey BigBoss, dump your girlfriend and get with this woman instead!
BigBoss: No thanks.
Monkeysarefunny: Why not?
BigBoss: Two reasons - and they both rhyme with "Shmesticals."
Isiah Zombie: Well I'm going to order some Pizzas from Jasmin's just for you guys, cuz, you're all "special" to me.
Admiral Donutz: Are you going to eat some too?
Isiah Zombie: Nope.
Admiral Donutz: Why not?
BigBoss: ...IZ's probably too busy watching his girlish figure to eat any pizza. SLAP IT HIGH!
Monkeysarefunny: *slaps it high with BB* So when is the pizza coming?
Isiah Zombie: I didn't order it yet.
Monkeysarefunny: Do it! Do it NOW!
Isiah Zombie: But it's 9:30 a.m.
Monkeysarefunny: ........Shut up, weird hair.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, I'll go get it myself.
BigBoss: Wait, you're going to go out with your hair like that?
Isiah Zombie: ...Well I could a put on a turtle neck as a disguise, right?
Admiral Donutz: In terms of turtlenecks, you look enough like a turtle to begin with. Let me go with you.
Isiah Zombie: Uhh... okay.
*IZ and Donutz walk out*
Isiah Zombie: I need to tell you something: I have a plot for revenge.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah I figured it out, because you were not going to eat the pizzas.
Isiah Zombie: Well Jasmin's makes a "special pizza" with robots in it.
Admiral Donutz: R-Robots?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, horny robots. You wouldn't have sex with a robot, would you?
Admiral Donutz: I'm not going to bend over for technology.
Isiah Zombie: But we know Monkey will, especially if it was a broadband one.
Admiral Donutz: Broadband computers are going to pop out of the pizza?
Isiah Zombie: Exactly. I had Steven and Caboose set up the whole thing up.
Admiral Donutz: What did they do?
Isiah Zombie: Steven called Jasmin's and Caboose will deliver the pizzas.
Thirty minutes later.
Caboose: GERRONODDAHER, mates!
Isiah Zombie: Alright, deliver these pizzas to the Shanty.
*Caboose walks up to Shanty*
Ding - Dong.....
Monkeysarefunny: *opens door* Uhh... Caboose? You're the delivery man?
Caboose: Feed the Queen you scallywags! *opens pizza box and little robots pop out*
Monkeysarefunny: Ahhh! Get them off my head!
BigBoss: Grrrr! They're chewing my hair up!
Caboose: Blunder in the plunder! See yer later, mateys! *walks out*
Monkeysarefunny: Ugg! These robots messed up my Hippie Haircut! *puts lampshade on head*
BigBoss: They messed my hair too! Give me that lampshade, man!
*IZ and Donutz walk in*
Isiah Zombie: *looks at Monkey* Take that lampshade off, boy! You look like a damn fool!
Monkeysarefunny: ... *slowly takes off lampshade*
Isiah Zombie: ....Put that lampshade back on, boy! You look like a damn fool!
Monkeysarefunny: *slowly puts on lampshade* IZ, you suck harder than a 10 dollar hoe.
BigBoss: This is what you call payback? I'm bald now!
Monkeysarefunny: You're a bit of a dick, did you know that?
Isiah Zombie: No.
Monkeysarefunny: Well, you are, a little bit.
Admiral Donutz: MAF, you barely figured that out? Lol n00b itz so 0ld lol rolfmaoo.