Post by Isiah Zombie on Nov 17, 2007 9:26:07 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Wild Turkey
Episode: 6
Original Post Date: November 17, 2007
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BigBoss is waiting outside of his Shanty on Thanksgiving Day.
*Isiah Zombie and Monkeysarefunny meet up with BB*
Isiah Zombie: ...Why are you standing outside of your Shanty?
BigBoss: My girlfriend is having her piano lessons in my Shanty with her instructor.
Monkeysarefunny: (wearing green backpack) But you don't have a piano.
BigBoss: Hellooo - he brings his organ and she practices on that.
Monkeysarefunny: .....Wowza.
Isiah Zombie: I doubt she's taking piano lessons.
BigBoss: SHE IS.
Monkeysarefunny: Really? Then what songs has she learned?
BigBoss: Haven't you ever taken piano lessons in your life? You have to learn the history of the piano before you can play any songs.
Isiah Zombie: And what is this "history" that she's learning?
BigBoss: She says that the original reason why the piano has foot pedals is because it used to be a type of vehicle...
Monkeysarefunny: Wow, that instructor is playing you like a..... piano.
BigBoss:
I know! Leave me alone!! *runs off*Isiah Zombie: ....I don't think I've ever seen BB so... "un-manly" before.
Monkeysarefunny: So now how are we supposed to have the Thanksgiving reunion if we can't get in his Shanty?
Isiah Zombie: I guess we could go to my house.
Monkeysarefunny: Where do you live?
Isiah Zombie: In Los Angeles.
Monkeysarefunny: WHAT? Wait, that's far from here... isn't it?
Isiah Zombie: Yes! We're in Massachusetts now. Where did you think BB's Shanty was?
Monkeysarefunny: I thought it was only on the internets. *unzips green backpack* Come out Donutz.
*Donutz crawls out of backpack*
Admiral Donutz: Whoa, has one week passed already?
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, but we're going to IZ's house for Thanksgiving.
Admiral Donutz: No! I'm afraid of small spaces!
Isiah Zombie: What? Los Angeles is HUGE!
Admiral Donutz: No, I was talking about the small bathroom on the airplane.... that's why my mom says I can't go to Sweden.....
Isiah Zombie: We can go on my magic carpet.
Monkeysarefunny: Where did you get a magic carpet??
Isiah Zombie: Well I took up on your advice last week and I traded something valueble for magic beans - and then traded the beans for the magic carpet.
Admiral Donutz: Cool! So how long will it take us to get there?
Isiah Zombie: Umm, about two hours.
Monkeysarefunny: Two hours? ........ If we're agreeing that this is a "magic" carpet, then where the heck did you get the two hours from? Is there a lay-off in Dallas that we don't know about?
Isiah Zombie: No.... but don't tell anyone except Steven about the magic carpet. Only discuss it when we're alone.
Monkeysarefunny: When "we're alone"? What are you getting at, IZ?
*2 Hours later*
IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and Steven arrive to L.A. on the magic carpet.
Isiah Zombie: And we're here! This is my house, you like?
Admiral Donutz: Very nice.
Steven: Big house, mate.
Monkeysarefunny: It's comically big. That's right I SAID IT!
Isiah Zombie: Well I invited Leo the Vampire as you all know, and he might bring TheHeartless with him. He knows he has to come to LA now.
Admiral Donutz: Hoo boy, this is gonna be one hot reunion.
Isiah Zombie: I also invited an old friend.... you guys remember Caboose, right?
Monkeysarefunny: Hell yeah!
Steven: Don't forget about Rex, mates, I invited him too.
Isiah Zombie: What? Why would you invite Rex??
Steven: Why wouldn't I?
Isiah Zombie: Don't you remember the Fab 5 incident? Remember he swore to get revenge on us?
Steven: Ohhhh... sorry, I was drunk that day.
Monkeysarefunny: Don't call it drunk, call it: sober-plus.
Isiah Zombie: Dammit! This is not good...
Monkeysarefunny: Well I guess this isn't the best time to say that I invited Spike, now is it?
Admiral Donutz: Who's Spike?
Isiah Zombie: GAH! He's that prisoner in the fake jail cell Monkey set up.... he abused me...
Steven: Me too *sniff*
Admiral Donutz: So that's everyone who's coming over?
Monkeysarefunny: .......I invited Amanda too........
Admiral Donutz: Fffffffffffff****.
Isiah Zombie: Dammit! You invited all my enemies!
Monkeysarefunny: ...IZ, you worry too much. You need to be more spontaneous.
Isiah Zombie: I plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
*4 Hours Later, inside IZ's house*
Isiah Zombie: Okay, the guests should be coming over any minute now.
Steven: We got the Turkey and the Hennessy's Cognac ready... and also the mashed taters and yams that Monkey and Donutz brought
Monkeysarefunny: Guys, I'm gonna level with you..... I'm terrified right now.
Admiral Donutz: Yes, the tension is too much!
Ding-Dong..........
Monkeysarefunny: OHMAHGAD!
Isiah Zombie: Let's see who it is.... *opens door*
Caboose: Avast ye mateys!
Isiah Zombie: Hey! Caboose is in the house!
Steven: Good to see you, you old bloke.
Caboose: Jarg, what in Sir Drake's golden pantaloons is going on here?
Monkeysarefunny: W-welcome back....
Caboose: I leave for a couple of years and the ship is no longer ship shaped?!
Admiral Donutz: Ship shaped?
Isiah Zombie: Umm, yeah, my house used to be a pirate ship...
Caboose: I can't even say what kind of a shape it's in. Though it is most certainly not like a ship...
Isiah Zombie: Well take a seat, the other guests should be coming over now.
Caboose: Hoist the Yaarrrrd Arm, climb the mizzen, clean the midden, swab the poop, and get me a damn sandwich.
Isiah Zombie: Maybe we should wait for the other guests-
Caboose: -Whole wheat on rye will do. With some roast beef, and some decent butter, none of that sour yak's stuff... and one of those little green spriggy things on top, you know how I like my little green spriggy things...
Isiah Zombie: Y-yeah...
Ding-Dong..........
Monkeysarefunny: OHMAHGAD!
Isiah Zombie: Get a grip monkey..... *opens door*
Spike: ....Hey, it's you again!
Isiah Zombie: Yes... yes it is.
Spike: And the British pie is here too
Steven: .....*sniff*
Spike: I remember I pleased you where the sun doesn't shine!
Admiral Donutz: Where, London?
Isiah Zombie: Ho boy... definitely not London....
Spike: Shut-up! You're next!
Isiah Zombie: Me? Umm... so you're here from prison, right?
Spike: Yeah, foo.
Isiah Zombie: Well... that just goes to show you - everybody's from somewhere.
Monkeysarefunny: Wow, you are one sorry piece of woman, IZ.
Isiah Zombie: What?? He had his way with me.
Monkeysarefunny: What's next for you? Getting a purse?
Isiah Zombie: Shut-it-uppy.
*Spike and Caboose sit at the table*
Ding-Dong..........
Monkeysarefunny: OHMAHGAD! Eh... who am I kidding...
Isiah Zombie: Now who is it... *opens door*
Leo the Vampire: So.... you're IZ?
Isiah Zombie: So......... I'm IZ.
Monkeysarefunny: Hmm.
Leo the Vampire: Are you going to invite me in or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?
Isiah Zombie:
Leo the Vampire: Whatever *walks in*
Isiah Zombie: You know Leo, you and I are like matter and anti-matter - in that I matter and you don't.
Leo the Vampire: What? That was.... lame. Did you practice that in front of a mirror? Why don't you go sing your emo songs somewhere else.
Isiah Zombie:
Admiral Donutz: So Heartless didn't come with you?
Leo the Vampire: No, he went somewhere else. But I still want a re-match with you soon!
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, you can't beat my Crab of Doom and you know it.
Leo the Vampire: Psh... please. Tell me how you can possibly beat me two times a row.
Monkeysarefunny: I cannot tell you. I lose the dare.
Leo the Vampire: See? You're such a noob.
Monkeysarefunny: What do you expect? 80% of noobs are IN America.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah - the rest are in Europe.
Leo the Vampire: 98% of all statistics are wrong.
Monkeysarefunny: Including the one you just said...
Caboose: *from distance* When is the grub going to be served, you buckaneers?
Isiah Zombie: Everybody, come to the table.
Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, Admiral Donutz, Steven, Caboose, Spike, and Leo the Vampire are all at the table.
Isiah Zombie: Before we eat the turkey, let me give you the side effects of eating it. The side effects include: Unexpected pregnancy, minor Hulkism, and in rare cases, minor albinoism.
Monkeysarefunny: Cool! This is off-da-hook!
Isiah Zombie: Off the hook? Or very much, on the hook?
Leo the Vampire: I'm not eating any of this.
Isiah Zombie: At least try it.
Leo the Vampire: Well since you don't grasp the fact that I think you're incompetent, I will be leaving now.
Monkeysarefunny: Good - don't let the door hit you on the..... YOU KNOW.
Leo the Vampire: Losers... *walks out*
Isiah Zombie: Now we can eat.
Ding-Dong..........
Isiah Zombie: Gah... monkey, should I open the door?
Monkeysarefunny: I am passionately neutral right now.
Isiah Zombie: Fine, I'll do it *walks up and opens door*
Amanda: Where's the foooooood?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, I KNEW someone was missing. Wait, where's Rex...
Amanda: *sees turkey* Chicken-chicken-chicken! *runs inside*
Admiral Donutz: No one's eating it, so I guess she can have it.
Amanda: *starts to eat turkey* GIMME MORE!
Admiral Donutz: Wait, doesn't that turkey give off unexpected pregnancy
Monkeysarefunny: Umm, yeah, who wants to be the father?
Caboose: I don't want to be the father, NEVER you cotton scallywags! *runs out of house*
Spike: Forget this - I can't pay anymore child support! *runs out*
Steven: It seems as if it's just us four, mates.
Monkeysarefunny: Whoever picks the shortest straw becomes the father *hold up straws*
Isiah Zombie: Oh-hell-to-the-no!
Monkeysarefunny: Come on IZ, you know you have to pick a straw
Isiah Zombie: Umm... umm... well... Rex ain't going to ban himself, see ya! *runs out*
Steven: Seeing as this party is pretty much dead, who wants to go to the Prince Bar?
Admiral Donutz: I'll go.
Monkeysarefunny: I can't go back, remember having a 45-minute conversation about this yesterday?
Steven: Umm... no, but why would you lie?
Admiral Donutz: So it's just us two then.
Steven: Yes - and I'll teach you how to become a good bartender *slowly walks outside with Donutz* Lesson 1: A depressed costumer is thee best costumer.
Admiral Donutz: I see...
Monkeysarefunny: *looks back at Amanda* Uhh... wait up guys!
