Post by Isiah Zombie on Jan 19, 2008 9:21:51 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Back to School
Episode: 15
Original Post Date: January 19, 2008
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Monkeysarefunny, Donutz, and w00tdude are in BB's Shanty watching TV.
*Isiah Zombie walks in*
Admiral Donutz: There you are, IZ. Where have you been?
Isiah Zombie: I went to go get a haircut.
Monkeysarefunny: I like it. It really compliments....... your head.
w00tdude: It looks teh suckish.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, anyways, I gotta go back to school today to take some classes and I had a great idea.
Admiral Donutz: You decided to get a bigger roomier backpack to hold all your books and other stuff in ?
Isiah Zombie: ....No. I thought: why don't you guys join me in some of my classes?
w00tdude: YAY! Okay!
Monkeysarefunny: IZ, I like your team spirit, but lets be honest here - I just hate school soooo much.
*BigBoss walks in*
BigBoss: So IZ, did you convince any of the guys to go back to school with you?
Isiah Zombie: Nope.
BigBoss: Well then I guess it's just us then.
Monkeysarefunny: Wait, BigBoss is going too? Now that changes EVERYTHING.
Isiah Zombie: So, are you coming with us?
Monkeysarefunny: Alright... I'll go back to school.
w00tdude: Can I go too?
Isiah Zombie: Sure.
w00tdude: Really?
Isiah Zombie: ...As long as you don't go inside.
w00tdude: Teh awwwws
Monkeysarefunny: But there's an excellent elementary school across the street from here.
w00tdude: Ummm.... I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but I've already been to elementary school.
Isiah Zombie: So.... Donutz. Are joining us too?
Admiral Donutz: I can't go to school for medical reasons, remember?
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah..... then maybe you should watch w00tdude while we're gone.
w00tdude: I'm 12-years-old! I don't need someone to watch after me!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah...... and you're going to STAY 12-years-old with THAT attitude.
Admiral Donutz: So I have to watch him?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes, and don't be scared to smack him.
*IZ, Monkey and BigBoss walk out*
w00tdude: I wanted to go with them back to school too! Let me go with them, Donutz!
Admiral Donutz: No. You're not leaving my sight.
*Steven walks in*
Steven: Hey there, mate. I got another bartending lesson for you. Go get the supplies in the kitchen.
Admiral Donutz: Okay *walks out to kitchen*
w00tdude: Pssst.
Steven: Huh?
w00tdude: Get me out of here! The minute you walk out of that door Donutz is going to beat the hell out of me!
Steven: Is he abusing you, mate? Well then I'll be your savior and get you out of here!
w00tdude: Whoohoo!
Steven: I'll pretend to leave, and wait for you outside, okay?
w00tdude: Got it.
Admiral Donutz: *walks back in* Alright, I got the supplies.
Steven: You know what? I actually have to leave right now....
Admiral Donutz: You're SUCH a TEASE.
Steven: Sorry, mate. See ya! *walks out*
w00tdude: Hey Donutz, I need to leave too.
Admiral Donutz: Hey ! You're going to try to sneak to school with the other guys, are you?
w00tdude: No! ....I'm gonna go to the store to buy more.... legos...
Admiral Donutz: Oh, okay. Make sure to look both ways before getting hit by a car.
Meanwhile, at the School, the trio is taking a French class.
Monkeysarefunny: *eating chips* Man this class is BORING.
Isiah Zombie: Dude, be quiet.
Mr. Frenchie: Gwhat are you doing?
Monkeysarefunny: I was just eating-
Mr. Frenchie: Ah-ah-ah! Speak in FRENCH!
Monkeysarefunny: .....I .... had..... Le Munchies?
Mr. Frenchie: There eez no eating in da classroom.
Monkeysarefunny: Is that why you have French Fries in your briefcase?
Mr. Frenchie: Joo ask too many kooweshtions.
Monkeysarefunny: Too many? Or not enough?
Mr. Frenchie: Too many. Do you gwant me to kick joo out?
Monkeysarefunny: Why do you have a Mexican accent?
Mr. Frenchie: I don't have a mek-si-can aksent, and by deh way, it's meh-hee-ko, not mek-si-koh.
Monkeysarefunny: No, it's more like you-suck-oh.
Mr. Frenchie: Geee-ahhh-hugg!!
BigBoss: What did he say?
Monkeysarefunny: It's French for "Le Cry For Help!"
At the same time, just outside the school...
Steven: Alright, I'm going to drop you off here.
w00tdude: Thanks, cool British guy! I owe you one!
Steven: Wear your hood, mate. It's raining.
w00tdude: I don't need to wear my hood.
Steven: I am your legal guardian! You obey by my rules now !
w00tdude: ...
Meanwhile, at the School, the trio is taking a Geology class.
Ms. Man: Two thirds of the world is covered in water, the rest is covered by us. That's all you need to know. You've all just earned 5 credits.
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh... easiest class ever?
Isiah Zombie: ...Those kids in the French class were making fun of me.
BigBoss: You're such a pansy, IZ. I've been here for a few hours and I'm already part of the cool crowd. And you're getting picked on, heh.
Monkeysarefunny: And I happen to be fricken bored - we all have our issues.
Several minutes later, the Trio goes to the History/Government class.
Mr. Lincoln: I like to have class discussions with students instead of teaching straight from the book. So who here wants to participate?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't !
Mr. Lincoln: Alright funny man, let me ask you about congress. What is your initial reaction when you hear the word 'congress'?
Monkeysarefunny: The opposite of pro is con, and the opposite of progress is congress.
*slow clap from class begins*
Mr. Lincoln: I see, and what is your opinion about flag burning?
Monkeysarefunny: That's a big "SCREW YOU" to America!
Mr. Lincoln: MmHmm.... and what do you think about gay marriage?
Monkeysarefunny: I'm fine with it - as long as its between a gay man a gay woman.
*class starts to applaud*
Mr. Lincoln: Now now, class, don't applaud my question before I ask it. Flattery will get you nowhere.
Isiah Zombie: Actually, flattery will get you........ everywhere.
BigBoss: Mr. Lincoln, is all this going to be on the test?
Mr. Lincoln: Yes, I want you all to read up to page 100 by tomorrow morning.
Monkeysarefunny: Read up to page 100? That's a sham!
Isiah Zombie: That's a mockery!
BigBoss: That's a sham of a mockery!
Monkeysarefunny: That's a mockery of a sham!
Mr. Lincoln: That's life.
Monkeysarefunny: Then I got three words for you, "SCREW YOU!"
Mr. Lincoln: That's two words. And I want you out of my class.
Monkeysarefunny: Well then I got another two words for you, "I'M NOT LEAVING!"
Mr. Lincoln: That's three words. Stop embarrassing yourself.
Monkeysarefunny: **** you! *walks out*
Mr. Lincoln: .....Now that's two words.
An hour later, the trio walks to the Bookstore on campus....
Isiah Zombie: (to store clerk) Excuse me, I've been getting picked on a lot today..... so do you know where the self-help section is?
Store Clerk: If I told you, that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?
Monkeysarefunny: Heh heh heh.... so BigBoss, are you going to do that test tomorrow for History?
BigBoss: Psh... yeah. I read the whole book and did all the work already. I'm smart AND cool.
Monkeysarefunny: What?!? You read the whole book? I only read up to page two! And I can't even say I got a firm grasp of page one!
Isiah Zombie: BB, you did all the work? Hand over the answers now.
BigBoss: No - I'm not going to fight you for my answers.
Isiah Zombie: All I want is the answers - how I get them is up to you.
Monkeysarefunny: *opens History book to random page* Well if you read the whole book, then you should know this: what does the parakeet symbolize to the Finnish President?
BigBoss: Easy.... it symbolized someone he could talk to.
Monkeysarefunny: And what does the parakeet symbolize on the Finnish flag?
BigBoss: Umm.... the parakeet - with its droppings - symbolized.... how crappy life can be in Finland.
Monkeysarefunny:
BigBoss: ...There is no parakeet on the Finnish flag, is there?
Monkeysarefunny: No there isn't. And I don't think there's a President either.
*w00tdude walks in Bookstore*
w00tdude: Hey! There you guys are!
BigBoss: Uhh... what are you doing here?
w00tdude: I sneaked out of the house! Donutz doesn't know I'm here!
Monkeysarefunny: Well this party's over.... let's go.
BigBoss: Where's IZ?
w00tdude: *points to corner* There he is! He's facing the corner and reading a book.
Isiah Zombie: (to self) I will not let the rage of others destroy the light in me... I will not let the rage of others destroy the light in me...
BigBoss: Wow, IZ's taking that whole "getting picked on" thing seriously, huh?
Monkeysarefunny: *sigh* ....He can be such a woman sometimes.
Walking back home in the rain....
BigBoss: So who brought you here anyways?
w00tdude: I jumped into my souped up Jaguar and peeled the hell out.
Monkeysarefunny: Would have been better if you whistled for a cab...
Isiah Zombie: Wait, don't you drive a riding mower with satellite radio?
BigBoss: W00tdude is a HOUSE of LIES!
w00tdude: Okay! I lied! Steven was the one who brought me here!
Monkeysarefunny: Whatever.... hey, put your hood on.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah seriously, it's raining.
Several weeks later, IZ, Monkey and Donutz are in BB's Shanty.
Isiah Zombie: Hey Monkey, bring the mail in.
Monkeysarefunny: What am I to you? Your delivery boy? Sheesh. *walks out and brings mail in* Hey IZ - your grades came in the mail.
Isiah Zombie: ...Tell me what I got...
Monkeysarefunny: Great news-
Isiah Zombie: YAY!
Monkeysarefunny: -Let me finish. Great news if you love the letter F, cuz I gotta tell you, you got a crapload of them.
Isiah Zombie: Fffffffff***!
Admiral Donutz: You stole my line!
Monkeysarefunny: You must be real stupid to fail THOSE classes...
Isiah Zombie: But they were hard!
Monkeysarefunny: God, IZ, you're such a woman.
Admiral Donutz: IZ, that's what you get for not buying a more roomier backpack !
Isiah Zombie: ......I will not let the rage of others destroy the light in me...