Post by Isiah Zombie on Aug 24, 2008 13:05:07 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Asteroid Danger (Part 1 of 2)
Episode: 46
Original Post Date: August 24, 2008 (Sunday Special)
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Isiah Zombie, Monkey, Donutz, Shion and Zorat are all aboard the Sun Riser spaceship, which is currently in space...
Isiah Zombie: So how long has it been since we left Earth's atmosphere?
Admiral Donutz: I don't know, at least one day.
Monkeysarefunny: -What do you guys think Shion and Zorat are doing right now? They're planning on eating us, right? ...Yeah... I knew it.
Isiah Zombie: They're in the cockpit flying the ship. You should loosen up, Monkey. This is a new stage in our lives.
Monkeysarefunny: Hmm... you're right. At least I don't have to deal with Mutton Butt anymore !
Admiral Donutz: I know... that's good news. Alright, I packed up some of my favorite games in my backpack... so who wants to play a game of "BING BONG BOOOOSH"?
Isiah Zombie: Meh...
Admiral Donutz: I call first! *unzips blue backpack*
*w00tdude crawls out of backpack*
w00tdude: TA-DA! ME BACKO!
Isiah Zombie: Umm... w00tdude? You were in Donutz's backpack this whole time?
w00tdude: Yeah! I took a nap in there!
Admiral Donutz: Hey! That's what I used to do!
Monkeysarefunny: ....And just when I thought this situation couldn't get any worse, it takes a nose-dive deep into the fiery, dark, depths of hell.....
w00tdude: So who wants to play a game "BING BONG BOOOOSH"? I call first !
Admiral Donutz: Ehh... nevermind.
Meanwhile, in the Sun Riser's cockpit...
Shion Alien: Prepare for turbulence, Zorat. It looks like we're heading straight into an asteroid belt.
Zorat Robot: (robot voice) Master-Shion, back-up fuel supplies have been activated. The-humans-on board will be used at a later time when needed.
Shion Alien: That's good... but I just said we're heading straight into an asteroid belt. Got any advice for that?
Zorat Robot: Must-activate-launch sequence. EVACUATE-SHIP!
Shion Alien: Whoa.... easy now, there's no need to do that.
Zorat Robot: Can't comprehend. MISCOMPUTE! MISCOMPUTE! *presses launch button*
Shion Alien: Wait.... NOOOO! Why did you do that ZORAT??
Zorat Robot: Errors-have-been made. Others-will-be blamed.
Zorat activated the launch sequence, which detaches the cockpit from the rest of the ship..... and now the Sun Riser is on auto-pilot.....
*bump-rattle-shake!*
Isiah Zombie: Umm..... did you guys feel that? The whole ship shook and vibrated.
Monkeysarefunny: I bet you liked that, didn't ya?
w00tdude: I sure did ! It was like a roller-coaster!
Monkeysarefunny: Shut up, Mutton Butt.
w00tdude: Teh awwwws...
Admiral Donutz: ...I guess this isn't the best time to say this, but... *gulp* ...I'm afraid of heights and plane rides.
Isiah Zombie: You seemed fine just a minute ago.
Admiral Donutz: That's because there was no turbulence! I mean, just look outside the window! You can see the deadly asteroids floating out in space! One of them is going to hit us - I just know it!
Isiah Zombie: Nah, I think we'll be safe-
*pow-bam-SHAKE!*
Admiral Donutz: OHMYGAWD! We're hit! MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! Lemme outta here! *runs frantically around in circles*
Isiah Zombie: Okay, maybe we should start to be slightly concerned..... of dying.
Monkeysarefunny: You know, I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
w00tdude: Guys, I don't think we got hit by an asteroid. It looks like something attached to the top of our ship...
Ceiling hatch-door opens, and someone falls into the ship...
??: *plop* ...Owww...
Admiral Donutz: AHHHHHH! SCARY MAN ON BOARD!!
w00tdude: Hey cool! We have a visitor!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh God... it's staring at me... d-do... do I kill it? ...I'ma kill it...
Isiah Zombie: You there! IDENTIFY YOURSELF!
??: *stands up* ...Who me? How dare you ask for my identity?!
Isiah Zombie: ...W-Why shouldn't I?
??: Because I am Zimmian Regulous Alphonse James Zisk. Head mugwump of the discordian order. Order of the Pirateer First Class. And anyone who asks for my name... dies with my name!
Isiah Zombie: But you just told us your name.
Zimmian Zisk: ...And this is my partner, SaS. We're related, even though he's black. I adopted him many years ago in exchange for his life.
Isiah Zombie: .......What partner? You're standing here by yourself.
Zimmian Zisk: Huh? But I am the master, the superior, the ultimate life-form. How dare he embarrass me?!? You, SaS! MARCH YOUR COCOA BUNS DOWN HERE NOW!!
Ceiling hatch-door opens, and SaS falls into the ship...
SaS: *thump* ...Ugg... that hurt.
Zimmian Zisk: Attention all! You are now in Zim Country! You will obey all of my laws! Now, take me to your leader!
SaS: *stands up* Did you introduce me already? Because if you didn't, my name is-
Isiah Zombie: -Our leader is Shion. Let me go get him for you-
Zimmian Zisk: -NONSENSE! You seem formidable enough to be leader!
Isiah Zombie: Really? Well, okay. So what do you need?
Zimmian Zisk: I am the wolf that walks between twilight and infinity. I am unending, but some say I never began.
SaS: Yeah, yeah.... enough of your philosophical jargon. Let me introduce myself. My name is-
Zimmian Zisk: -I am poetry in motion, but I haven't moved an inch. I am potential incarnate, and I am the victory at its finest. Nothing compares to Zimmian Zisk, and Zimmian Zisk is compared to nothing.
SaS: -CAN I TALK NOW? ...... *silence* ......Okay, good. My name is-
Isiah Zombie: -So what are you guys doing here?
SaS:
Zimmian Zisk: We are first class pirateers. We travel in our Buyboi Ship across the galaxy in the hopes of finding treasure, booty, and treasure in the shape of booty.
SaS: Are you guys interrupting me because I'm BLACK? Because if you are, I'm gonna-
Isiah Zombie: -We don't have any treasure. This is our first time in space, actually. We're from Earth.
Zimmian Zisk: Is that so? I travel bound to find a like-minded fellow, or someone to assist in my usurping of power. Will you be willing to be a partner?
Isiah Zombie: No thanks. I don't think being a space pirate offers much thrill.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, and according to your girlfriend, neither does your ding-a-ling. KA-POW!
Admiral Donutz: Heh.... you know, I don't think I'm scared anymore. They're just space pirates.
Zimmian Zisk: My last captain was named Mr. Walrus, and he lent us the Buyboi Ship and some other stuff. I'm not going to going to go into detail on what he lent us, but let's just say it included a portal gun, a machete, and a paradox inhibitor.
Monkeysarefunny: Mr. Walrus? More like, Mr. LAWRUS! Get it?
Isiah Zombie: Zim, did you say a paradox inhibitor? That sounds hi-tech. What else do you have?
Zimmian Zisk: Well, I turned the Buyboi Ship into a T.A.R.D.I.S. and I mess with time. A lot. I sometimes use my time machine-space ship to go to places where I can alter my biology.
Isiah Zombie: Really?
Zimmian Zisk: Yes. I am currently 36 thousand-years-old.
SaS: -Sorry to INTERRUPT this conversation, but who's flying this ship?
Isiah Zombie: ....I believe Shion and Zorat are in the cockpit.
Isiah Zombie, Monkey, Donutz, w00tdude, Zimmian Zisk and SaS walk to the cockpit door...
*knock knock!*
Admiral Donutz: There's no answer on the other side. Could they have left us?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh well that's just great! We join our enemies into space, and they just leave us in the middle of an asteroid field! DAYUM!
w00tdude: Now I feel teh suckish
Isiah Zombie: Well it's not that bad, is it ?
The Sun Riser Spaceship speaks through the speakers...
Sun Riser Speaker: Warning! Warning! An asteroid is approaching the ship! T-MINUS 5 MINUTES!
SaS: So... we have no pilot, and an asteroid is about to hit us? This sounds like a job for-
Zimmian Zisk: -SCREW YOU, ya rot-spewing zombified excuse for a spaceship leader! You didn't have a pilot flying the ship?? You could've got us killed! 36-thousands-years could've gone to waste!
Isiah Zombie: I mean this in the most sincerest way possible: "My bad."
Zimmian Zisk: I'll burn this thing to the ground before I die!
Isiah Zombie: ...But there is no ground...
Zimmian Zisk: FIRE I SAY! FIRE!
w00tdude: Damn pyromaniac...
SaS: Ahem, maybe I wasn't BLACK enough to get your attention.... Yo-yo-yo, wuz up? FA-SHIGGETY! ...... *silence* ......Okay, now that I got your attention, here's a book that should help us out in this particular situation.
Isiah Zombie: *reads title of book* "A White Guy's Guide to Dating Black Women" ....Umm....
SaS: Wait, wrong book.... heh heh.
Admiral Donutz: HAH! That was funny! Even SaS lightened up!
SaS: What do you mean I "lightened up"? Is that a black joke?
Admiral Donutz: No! I didn't mean it that way! I am free of all prejudices! I hate everyone equally!
Zimmian Zisk: Quiet you! So what do we do now?? I demand answers! And the blood of the innocent! I demand both!
SaS: Hey Zim, think about it. We came in through the Buyboi Ship, which means that we could easily leave out through the Buyboi Ship.
Zimmian Zisk: ...Heh... haha... HEHEHAEHEAH! That's right! I don't know why didn't think of that earlier!
Isiah Zombie: ...Can we.... can we join you in the Buyboi Ship too?
Zimmian Zisk: Psh... earthling. There's only room for 2 pilots. Sure, there's a GIANT-ASS storage room, but that's just for our treasure and booty.
Isiah Zombie: P-Please? *puppy dog eyes*
Zimmian Zisk: Well...
Monkeysarefunny: You'll die with us if you don't help!
Zimmian Zisk: Let me think here...
Monkeysarefunny: Also, on the plus side, after you save us, we can help you capture more booty for your GIANT-ASS storage room! SHOOT 3 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!
Zimmian Zisk: Fine, you can join us.... IF, you can beat us in a race!
SaS: Hey guys, you know that show, 'The Amazing Race' -- is that about white people?
Admiral Donutz: No, it's a different kind of race...
Isiah Zombie: I accept your race! ...But where do we run to?
Zimmian Zisk: -To the Buyboi Ship! FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE! *runs*
Zimmian Zisk takes off from the cockpit area, with SaS following shortly after. IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude trail behind...
Sun Riser Speaker: Warning! Warning! T-MINUS 1 MINUTE! The asteroid's going to hit - prepare to die! Ahhhh!
Zimmian Zisk: AHA! *shoots wire up into ceiling hatch door* Hurry up, SaS! MAKE THE COCOA BUNS CLAP!
SaS: Yes sir! *shoots wire up* Yes! We win the race!
Isiah Zombie: *tired from running* ...Dammit! You can't just leave us here!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah! I have a family to feed! *points to w00tdude* ...See?
w00tdude: NOW you care about me ? You used to throw me in the dumpster after school everyday!
Monkeysarefunny: ....Oh the fun we had....
Admiral Donutz: NO! Don't leave us here! Let us join you in the BUYBOI SHIP!
Zimmian Zisk: Good night and good day, earthlings! *closes door*
The "Buyboi Ship" detaches from "The Sun Riser" roof...
Sun Riser Speaker: Warning! Warning! PREPARE FOR IMPACT! ANYONE IN THIS SHIP WILL MOST CERTAINLY DIE!
Isiah Zombie: NOOOOOOOOO!
Dun Dun DUN!!
To be continued.....