Post by Isiah Zombie on Aug 30, 2008 10:40:02 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Space Pirates (Part 2 of 2)
Episode: 47
Original Post Date: August 30, 2008
__________________________________________
Upon leaving "The Sun Riser" to escape the incoming asteroid, Zimmian Zisk and SaS have abandoned Isiah Zombie, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude... leaving them alone to die...
Sun Riser Speaker: Warning! Warning! PREPARE FOR IMPACT! ANYONE IN THIS SHIP WILL MOST CERTAINLY DIE!
Isiah Zombie: NOOOOOOOOO!
Monkeysarefunny: This is it! This is the end!
Admiral Donutz: Ffffff***!
w00tdude: No! Someone PLEASE SAVE US!
*teh-whoooosh!*
16-minutes earlier... back at the cockpit area...
Zimmian Zisk: AHA! Zimmian Zisk does it again!
SaS: Nice work, Zim!
Isiah Zombie: ...What... just... happened...?
Zimmian Zisk: I sent us back in time.
Admiral Donutz: You sent us back in time? But weren't we just about to get hit by an asteroid?
Zimmian Zisk: Remember earlier when I said that I transformed my Buyboi Ship into a T.A.R.D.I.S. and that I mess with time..... a lot?
Admiral Donutz: Yeah...?
Zimmian Zisk: Well the T.A.R.D.I.S. stands for "Time And Relative Dimensions In Space" ...meaning that the Buyboi Ship is also a time machine.
Monkeysarefunny: -OH YEAH! So basically, we went back in time to avoid getting hit by that asteroid! Thanks a lot, you deranged space pirate you!
w00tdude: Cool! So how far back did we go?
Zimmian Zisk: A total of sixteen minutes.
Isiah Zombie: That's it? Sixteen minutes? So in reality... we're about to get hit by that very same asteroid again? In SIXTEEN MINUTES??
Zimmian Zisk: Well, not exactly.
Isiah Zombie: Oh good, you scared me....
Zimmian Zisk: ...Because we've been talking for about 2 minutes, so we'll get hit by that very same asteroid in about 14 minutes.
Isiah Zombie: DANGITTY!
Admiral Donutz: ...Well that's no big deal. You can just activate the time machine again, right Zim?
Zimmian Zisk: Of course I can.
Isiah Zombie: Oh good, you scared me again....
Zimmian Zisk: ...Unfortunately, it takes the Buyboi Ship a total of 17 minutes to recharge its time-traveling powers.
Isiah Zombie: DANGITTY!
Monkeysarefunny: Awww crap! Thanks a lot, you deranged space pirate you!
Zimmian Zisk: Quiet, boy. Don't make me get my rubber glove. You wouldn't like me with my rubber glove.
Isiah Zombie: -ENOUGH! We don't have time for this! Zim, will you take us on board your Buyboi Ship this time?
Zimmian Zisk: What? You want to stay in my ship? Then you're gonna have to pay rent. Give me booty treasure. Now.
Monkeysarefunny: LET US ON YOUR SHIP! .....Unless you have something to hide from us..... to which I ask..... WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM US?
Zimmian Zisk: I just don't want it to get scratched up. My ship emits a slight array of badassery, with a small amount of jackassery. I need to keep it in prime condition.
Isiah Zombie: Look, all we want is to go back to planet Earth. I hear there's a lot of booty treasure there for you to get
Zimmian Zisk: Hmmm... planet Earth. Is that the blue planet covered in water?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah! That's it! Can you take us back?
Zimmian Zisk: Tell me, if mankind was made for man, then how come there's so much water?
Sun Riser Speaker: -Warning! Warning! An asteroid is approaching the ship! T-MINUS 10 MINUTES!
Isiah Zombie: DANGITTY! We need to get out of here!
2 minutes later...
Zimmian Zisk: Okay, since you asked for a fair race, you'll get a fair race. The first 2 guys who reach the Buyboi Ship can safely escape from the incoming asteroid. All others will be stabbed.
Isiah Zombie: How is this fair? I mean, just look at your location.
Zimmian Zisk: What? I'm 3 steps ahead of you. Is that so bad?
Isiah Zombie: I refuse to answer that question..... on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Admiral Donutz: Hey Zim, no cheating this time. Step back.
w00tdude: Yeah! We want a fair race!
Monkeysarefunny: So... who's going to do the countdown? ..... *looks at SaS*
SaS: Why are you looking at me? Is it because I'm BLACK?? So now all black people gotta do the countdown??
Sun Riser Speaker: -Warning! Warning! T-MINUS 7 MINUTES!
SaS: Oh ****! Just run! 3-2-1-GO!
Zimmian Zisk takes off from the cockpit area, with SaS following shortly after. IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude trail behind...... again......
Zimmian Zisk: *while running* YOU GUYS THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME? TOE TO TOE?
SaS: HAHA! You guys can't catch up to me! Black men run the fastest!
Isiah Zombie: Must.... catch.... up.... *turns and grabs w00tdude*
w00tdude: Woah! Put me down IZ! PUT ME DOWN!
Isiah Zombie: *lifts w00tdude over head* Go get 'em, tiger! *throws w00tdude forward*
w00tdude: (in air) Ahhhh! Now I feel teh suckish !
Zimmian Zisk: *gets hit by w00tdude* ....Auuugh! What the treasure booty was that??
SaS: *also getting hit* ...Hey watch out! That's a hate crime!
Isiah Zombie: *catches up to Zim* ...You said it yourself! First come, first serve!
IZ, Monkey, and Donutz reach the ceiling hatch door first...
Monkeysarefunny: Sweet, we won. Now how the hell do we climb up to this ceiling door...?
Zimmian Zisk: No! You weren't supposed to win! You guys can't even control the Buyboi Ship! Without us, you will surely DIE!
Monkeysarefunny: Not unless.... we take you hostage and force you to fly the ship.
Zimmian Zisk: Oh, well, if you decide to do that, then yeah... I guess you can control the Buyboi Ship...
IZ, Monkey, Donutz and w00tdude climb up into the "Buyboi Ship"..... forcing Zimmian Zisk and SaS to fly the ship...
SaS: Here's a thought - how about you guys let us go?
Monkeysarefunny: Uh, how about this...... Fly.
Isiah Zombie: Zim! I order you to fly away from The Sun Riser!
Zimmian Zisk: *sigh* ...I can lead a nation with a microphone, yet I cannot control four little Earthlings... (detaches Buyboi Ship from The Sun Riser roof)
Meanwhile, back on the "Sun Riser" ship...
Sun Riser Speaker: Warning! Warning! T-MINUS 10 SECONDS! The asteroid's going to hit! PREPARE FOR IMPACT! Prepare to die! ANYONE IN THIS SHIP WILL MOST CERTAINLY DIE! Ahhhh! .....Is there anyone on board? Am I all alone... all alone again?
The asteroid approaches the Sun Riser and... KA-BAM-BOOM! ...The Sun Riser is destroyed... 2 minutes pass by... and back inside the Buyboi Ship...
Admiral Donutz: Thanks for letting us board your ship.
SaS: We didn't let you on board. You guys just forced yourself in like some cops looking for the black-man's secret stash. Here, want some tea?
Admiral Donutz: Tea? It seems like we're having a tea party.
SaS: Yes, a very politically incorrect tea party. Because I'm black, of course.
Admiral Donutz: Speaking of black, do you have any black coffee?
SaS: Sorry, I can't serve coffee... cuz there's a BABY ON BOARD!
w00tdude: Wait..... are you talking about me? Because I'm not a kid anymore!
Admiral Donutz: But.... remember when you were little?
w00tdude: I AM LITTLE!
Everyone looks outside the "Buyboi Ship" windows, seeing the remaining pieces of "The Sun Riser" spaceship...
Isiah Zombie: Well........ that's the end of The Sun Riser. Good thing we're heading back home.
Zimmian Zisk: I'm not headed towards Earth. We're heading straight towards Mars. There's a lot of big booty treasure there.
Isiah Zombie: But you said you were going to take us back home !
Zimmian Zisk: I never said that.
Isiah Zombie: But..... BUT!
Zimmian Zisk: You stepped onto Zimmian property, meaning that you now belong to us. I think I'll adopt you guys like SaS and call you the "Four biggest morons from Earth." You'd be worth a lot of money with a name like that.
Isiah Zombie: Oh I don't believe this! That's it - I'm taking you down!
Zimmian Zisk: If you mess with me, then you mess with the small metal item the size and shape of a spool of thread in my space compartment. Trust me, you don't want that..... *pulls out metal object*
Monkeysarefunny: Ewww... that spoon looks like it was sticking in someone's ass.
Zimmian Zisk: It's not a spoon you freak! We're heading towards Mars and that's final!
SaS: *yawn* .....I'm getting kinda sleepy.
Zimmian Zisk: Then march your COCOA BUNS to the freezer-room and prepare for hibernation!
Admiral Donutz: SaS, I think you should brush your teeth first before going to bed.
SaS: Why? Are my teeth not WHITE enough for you? Are you racist??
Admiral Donutz: No! Not at all! I consider myself an E-Racist!
SaS: Does that stand for an Extreme-Racist??
Admiral Donutz: No! That's not what I meant! I meant to say that your blackuality excites my mind!
SaS: My what-??
Admiral Donutz: Uhh... MAF, help me out here.
Monkeysarefunny: -Let me change subject. SaS, is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
SaS: ...Not that I know of.
Zimmian Zisk activates the T.A.R.D.I.S...
*teh-whoooosh!*
5-months later... still in the Buyboi Ship...
Isiah Zombie: ...What... just... happened...?
Zimmian Zisk: I sent us forward in time.
Admiral Donutz: You sent us forward in time? How far ahead did we go?
Zimmian Zisk: Five months.
Isiah Zombie: FIVE MONTHS? You didn't mention we were going that far!
Zimmian Zisk: It takes five months to reach Mars. You should be thanking me for saving you the long-ass space trip.
Isiah Zombie: I guess...
Zimmian Zisk: I'll be depositing you in the providence of Sector 29 - bordering J2 Global Communications on Mars.
Isiah Zombie: So we're supposed to live on Mars now?
Zimmian Zisk: Yes, you'll be on your own. And if I hear any complaints about this, I'll be adding all offenders to my stab list.
One day later, after the Buyboi Ship has landed on Mars... IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude are wearing spacesuits so that they can breathe on the new planet...
Isiah Zombie: Wow, just look at the orange skies... they look so... beautiful..... *sniff*
Monkeysarefunny: Don't be going gay on me, IZ.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, one person is enough.
w00tdude: Teh awwws....
Zimmian Zisk: -WE WILL BE DEPARTING! You four are no longer in Zim Country! We're off to bigger and better booty!
SaS: Das right. We hear there's more treasure on Sector 69. That's on the other side of Mars.
Isiah Zombie: ...Will we see you guys again?
Zimmian Zisk: You can bet your asteroid you'll be seeing us again.
Isiah Zombie: The other side of Mars is a long trip... are you going to make any pit stops?
Zimmian Zisk: Yes, on the way over there, I need to see Doctor Who.
Isiah Zombie: Doctor Who? Who's Doctor Who?
Zimmian Zisk: He's Doctor Who.
Isiah Zombie: Ah...
Zimmian Zisk and SaS board the Buyboi Ship and fly away... leaving the four Earthlings alone on Sector 29. Meanwhile, in Sector 69...
Shion Alien: Father, after 5 long months of space travel, I have finally returned.
Zuleculab: (has back turned) .........Hmph.
Shion Alien: I know, that in your eyes... I am just a failure... but after thinking and thinking, I want to join your army now.
Zuleculab: ...Hmm?
Shion Alien: I want to lead a platoon to the war that you began... to fight for your ideals... perhaps as a captain, a general, or another high-ranked position.
Zorat Robot: (robot voice) Master-Shion, the only available position in the current army is "Admiral."
Shion Alien: Yes! I want to become an Admiral in your army, father! Will you let me join?
Zuleculab: (faces Shion) Hmm.... my son.... I see you've changed....
Zorat Robot: Indeed-he-has, Master Zuleculab.
Zuleculab: Good.... Shion, I will let you join. You can fight on my side.... and together, we'll destroy planet Earth together!
Shion Alien: Yes sir! I will not let you down! I can finally take down Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Admiral Donutz - along with all the other miserable humanoids on that dreadful blue planet ! ...After I take I nap, of course... because I'm fricken tired.......