Post by Isiah Zombie on Sept 20, 2008 10:45:44 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Mars Showdown
Episode: 50
Original Post Date: September 20, 2008
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On board The Sun Riser II, Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, Admiral Donutz, and w00tdude are heading back to Earth...
Isiah Zombie: ...That Monster Pit was epic, man, it was ****ing EPIC.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, tell me about it. So where's MAF?
w00tdude: He's still in the bathroom trying to wipe off all that green goo from.... you know what
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah.... that was pretty sad.... I remember it like it was yesterday, mainly because...... it WAS yesterday.....
*everything gets blurry*
One day earlier, on Sector 69 of Mars, "Admiral" Shion storms into his appointed office as the leader of his new army....
Admiral Shion: I just became the Admiral of my Father's army and there's already bad news? .....Well? WHAT IS IT ?
Police Officer: Sir, the Zorat robots in the factory are not responding, and the surviellance camera in the Robot Factory reveals that the Earthling prisoners have escaped.
Admiral Shion: ....WHAAAT?! I had them cuffed to the wall! Send out the most advanced troops and search for them - and throw them into the Monster Pit!
Police Officer: Yes sir!
Meanwhile, after escaping the Robot Factory, the trio are sitting on a bench in the Sector 69 metropolis...
Monkeysarefunny: *looks at IZ holding something* ....What do you have there?
Isiah Zombie: Vacation brochures. It looks like we'll finally be heading back to Earth tomorrow.
Monkeysarefunny: We are? Oh, goody.
Isiah Zombie: Well, I hope you mean "oh goody" for me and Donutz, because we're the only ones going back.
Monkeysarefunny: I see. Once again I humiliate myself by assuming I'm a member of this trio.
Admiral Donutz: Why are you only taking me back to Earth, IZ?
Isiah Zombie: Well because I don't have enough money to-
Monkeysarefunny: -Do you think I'm a big sack of crap? Huh? Do ya? Just tell me!
Isiah Zombie: ......Have you been reading my diary again ?
Monkeysarefunny: N-No... not at all...
Admiral Donutz: I'm just glad we're getting off this damn planet. Did you hear when Shion said he was going to be an "Admiral" of his army? ...HAH! I'm the only REAL Admiral here!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, we know. Hey since we're heading back to Earth tomorrow, we should shake things up a bit on Mars beforehand.
Admiral Donutz: What do you suggest we do?
Isiah Zombie: Let's do SOMETHING CRAZY!
Admiral Donutz: Wanna get a pizza?
Isiah Zombie: No! ..................Well, yes, I do, but that's not the point!
Monkeysarefunny: Wanna go back to the Nightclubs again ?
Isiah Zombie: *sigh* .....This "being-in-charge-of-you" think just isn't working out for me anymore.
Monkeysarefunny: What are you trying to say?
Isiah Zombie: I'm saying you suck and I want you out of here.
Monkeysarefunny: Really?? You're rejecting me again?? Well screw you then! *walks away*
Isiah Zombie: Good, Monkey's finally gone. I can now rest in peace once and for all-
Police Officer: *approaches* ....AHA! There you guys are! I've been sent by Master Shion to send you straight into the Monster Pit!
Isiah Zombie: Shion sent you? Do you mean "Admiral Shion" of the Zuleculab army?
Admiral Donutz: Ffffff***! IZ - let's run!
Police Officer: Hold it! You two aren't going anywhere! *throws net over IZ and Donutz* ....AHA! I got ya!
Isiah Zombie: ....Nooooo!
Monkeysarefunny: *walks back holding an Ice Cream* ....Can I come too?
Police Officer: Yes, yes you can.
Monkeysarefunny: Cool! Acceptance rocks! *crawls under net with IZ and Donutz*
Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Admiral Donutz are escorted to the Monster Pit and thrown in... in front of a live audience...
Admiral Donutz: ...I always knew I was going to die if I hung around you guys long enough - I always knew it.
w00tdude: *gets thrown in seperately* ...Great..... Now I feel teh suckish
*Shion steps on podium above Monster Pit*
Admiral Shion: Hello all aliens of Sector 69 - and all of Mars! I present to you.... the PIT OF PARTICICUTION! Let this be an example to all of those who dare question my power!
Crowd: YEEEEEEAH!
Admiral Shion: In conjunction with the elimination of these humans, I will send out our most advanced troops to conquer Earth. To tell you the rest of our plan, here is my father.... Zuleculab!
Crowd: Whooooo!
Zuleculab: *walks onto podium* ....Yes, thank you Shion. Our plan is this: we will start a war with Earth, conquer it, and then eat all the humans because of our shortage of food on Mars... who else agrees with this plan's greatness?
Crowd: YEAH-WHOO-HAA!
Admiral Shion: And now! ....I will unleash the flesh-eating-monster into the Monster Pit! *presses button*
*giant black three-headed-Medusa-Monster with three long-necks appears*
Medusa Monster: GWRAAARL!!
w00tdude: AHH! WHAT IS THIS POOPY HEAD CRAP?
Admiral Donutz: Ffffff***! THIS is why I wanted to be a VEGETARIAN!
Monkeysarefunny: Heh heh.... yeah.... *gulp*
Isiah Zombie: No dammit! We gotta fight for our lives here!
Admiral Shion: (from distance) Seeing my enemies in the Monster Pit brings me great joy. It's almost laughable.
Zuleculab: Good, I see you're taking up to me..... Remember: an Admiral listens to NO ONE!
*Medusa Monster starts to wander in the pit*
Medusa Monster: GWRAAARL !
Isiah Zombie: Hey guys! Look up into the sky!
Monkeysarefunny: Why? So you can distract us? No thanks, BRO!
The Buyboi Ship appears in the sky... KA-BAM BOOM! ....and Zimmian Zisk jumps out...
Zimmian Zisk: *lands* ...Wow, just in time too!
Zadaz: (from ship) Hello fellow Earthlings! We're here to help !
SaS: I'll keep the ship floating! C'mon Zim! Stab that there-headed MOFO!
Isiah Zombie: Zim...? You're back...? Again...?
Zimmian Zisk: ARRRG! Of course I'm back! How many times do I have to save you guys? Help me out with the stabbings here!
Isiah Zombie: If we kill this monster, we're just going to be sent back to prison...
Zimmian Zisk: Would you like to spend the next 30-plus-years of your life in what is essentially a lite version of hell, or would you rather just say "to hell with it" and take your chances with whatever happens next?
Isiah Zombie: The second one.
Zimmian Zisk: Alright then! *throws out knives to IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude* ....Let's carve us some dinner tonight!
Isiah Zombie: Sweet! Medusa Heads a la Mine de Monstre!
Medusa Monster: *dashes towards IZ* GWARLLLLLL!
Isiah Zombie: Take this, you Medusa-freak! *jumps up and slashes off one of the heads*
Medusa Monster: AAAAAEEEEEK!
Monkeysarefunny: Damn... that **** was sick.
Admiral Donutz: MAF! Watch out! One of the heads is going straight towards you!
Monkeysarefunny: Holy-****-!
w00tdude: *jumps on the head and cuts it off* ....You can thank me for that later, Monkey!
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh........ yeah, thanks.
Zimmian Zisk: There's only one head left... step back! I got this! *jumps forward in matrix-style* .....ARRRG! *slashes off the last head*
Medusa Monster: AAAEEK....! *falls down and dies*
Crowd: Boooooooo !
Admiral Shion: (from distance) I don't believe this! Father, do something about this now!
Zuleculab: No - you're the Admiral in charge! I order you to jump in there and fight like a real leader!
Admiral Shion: ........GRRRRRRR ! ... *pushes Zuleculab off podium and into the Monster Pit*
Zuleculab: (falling down) Noooooooo! Whhhhhhy my soooooon?? *lands hard*
Admiral Shion: Sorry, father.... I AM AN ADMIRAL NOW! Always remember: an Admiral listens to NO ONE ! ..... *runs off into a dark hallway*
Several minutes later, SaS has landed the Buyboi Ship in the Monster Pit and the crowd is protesting for their money back...
Isiah Zombie: Thanks for saving us again, once more - yet again, Zim.
Zimmian Zisk: Don't worry about it. According to the archived articles of Sector 69, you'll face certain death 71 more times if you stay on Mars.
Zadaz: Indeed, you guys should head back home as soon as possible.
Admiral Donutz: Believe us, we WANT to!
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, I wouldn't mind sticking a flare up this planet's stinkin' ass!
w00tdude: ...Damn pyromaniac...
SaS: Hey guys, look - President Zuleculab is still alive.
Zuleculab: (heave-breathing, eyes barely open) .....I..... must..... put..... the...... deactivationcodein......
SaS: Does anybody else agree that President Zuleculab would be worth a ton of BOOTY TREASURE across the galaxy?
Zimmian Zisk: We finally found something valuable worth selling! MADNESS THIS IS! Let's leave before the insane amount of power destroys my existence!
Isiah Zombie: Can we bet our asteroid that we'll be seeing you again?
Zimmian Zisk: Sorry Zombie, I'm afraid this is our final encounter..... I created our encounters, so I should be the one who ends it.....
Zimmian Zisk, SaS, and Zadaz carry the remains of the Medusa Monster and the limp body of President Zuleculab into the Buyboi Ship... meanwhile, Admiral Shion is alone in the secret office that he ran off to...
Admiral Shion: (to self) I must send out the most advanced troops to conquer Earth once and for all, and to let all humans scream: "Mars Attacks!"
*IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude run in*
Isiah Zombie: NOT SO FAST!
Admiral Shion: ...Huh?
Isiah Zombie: Umm, Shion? I need you to react, you know, outlandishly.
Admiral Shion: OH MY MEDUSA NOOOOOOOOOOO! I was just about to send my advanced troops to Earth in The Sun Riser II! Why can't you humanoids let me do my job? I mean..... Earth wants to be detroyed. Wants.
Admiral Donutz: You won't do it, Shion. You're still the little 'ol alien coward that fled your home planet because you were afraid of war..... one little "Admiral" badge won't change that.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah! Tell it like it is, home boy! Shion just BURNS my ASS!
Admiral Shion: Oh... I forgot to tell you, I just activated the self-destruct sequence that will annhilate all of Mars...... because there's no point in living if you can't win....... cry more, humanoids!
Monkeysarefunny: Ah SHAT-AP you little Martian hoe!
Isiah Zombie: S-S-Self-destruct sequence? What the **** is wrong with you, Shion?
Admiral Shion: There's only one way to deactivate it.... and that one way is - TO KILL ME! *pulls out light-saber*
Isiah Zombie: Oh crap! How do I fight him now?
Monkeysarefunny: Here... *hands out light saber* ...One-on-one, the way it was meant to be!
Isiah Zombie: Wait a minute, you had a light saber this whole time?
Monkeysarefunny: ..........Kinda, yeah.
Isiah Zombie: That could've helped us in the Monster Pit.... Anyways! I accept your challenge, Shion!
Speaker Voice: Mars-destruction in T-Minus, 6 Minutes. Please check your bags at the counter. Leave the planet as soon as possible. Have a nice day.
Isiah Zombie: AHHHH! *swings saber* Why must you destory planets??
Admiral Shion: *saber-blocks* ...You've done the most damage! You made my life miserable at the apartments - you destroyed The Sun Riser Ship - you de-programmed all my Zorot Robots - and now you want to take away my "Admiral" title! *swings saber*
Isiah Zombie: *saber-blocks* That's not it! I just don't want anyone to die! Not even YOU! *swings saber*
Admiral Shion: *saber-blocks* Wait.... not.... even.... me? *stops*
Isiah Zombie: No, and I'm being serious here.
Admiral Shion: Really? So..... should we stop fighting and be friends again?
Isiah Zombie: Only if you decide to spare Earth..... and Mars in the process.
Admiral Shion: But, I can't.... there's only one way to deactivate the self-destruction sequence-
Speaker Voice: -Mars-destruction in T-Minus, 4 Minutes.
Admiral Shion: -And that one way is to see the code, which is imprinted....... inside my brain.
w00tdude: Eh... ewwww?
Isiah Zombie: WHAT?
Admiral Shion: My father printed the code inside my brain when I was born.... so if you want to save both worlds...... then you must decapitate me..... .....You have my permission to do so...... and I order you to do it NOW!
Isiah Zombie: I'm sorry, say what now?
Monkeysarefunny: Just do it, IZ!
Isiah Zombie: Hoo boy.... *lifts light-saber over Shion's head* .....I'll do it, but..... damn...... you got any last words?
Admiral Shion: *bows down* Yes...... if you do manage to save Mars..... please tell Sector 69...... that........ that I'm very sorry
Isiah Zombie: Alright.... good bye Shion, old friend..... *raises light-saber high, and........ slashes off Shion's head*
Monkeysarefunny: Whoa......... that **** was sick.
Speaker Voice: Mars-destruction in, T-Minus, 2 Minutes.
Admiral Donutz: C'mon guys! Look inside Shion's brain!
Isiah Zombie: But... it's all gooey and stuff.... Monkey, you do it.
Monkeysarefunny: Nah, only if you promise me that you'll do something super-dooper-extra special when we get back.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, alright, I will.
Monkeysarefunny: ....I'm gonna need an advance on that, like now.
Isiah Zombie: GAH! FINE!
*POW!*
Monkeysarefunny: Owww..... hey..... I'm blue now. What the heck?
Isiah Zombie: BRAIN READ NOW PLEASE!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah! ..... *fondles Shion's brain* ....The code is.... umm........ "1"
Isiah Zombie: THAT'S THE CODE? I be-headed Shion just for THAT? Oh geez.... *inputs code into computer which deactivates Mars self-destruction sequence*
Monkeysarefunny: I'm so cool... *tosses hat*
Admiral Donutz: I disagree... *has a snack*
Isiah Zombie: Oh good Lord, that was wack!
Monkeysarefunny: ....Shion, was pwned, and that was that.
One day later, on board The Sun Riser II, Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, Admiral Donutz, and w00tdude are heading back to Earth...
Isiah Zombie: ...Is Monkey still wiping that green goo from Shion's brain? I mean, that was a whole day ago.
Admiral Donutz: Oh THAT's what it's from... I thought w00tdude puked or something.
w00tdude: Teh awwws!
Monkeysarefunny: *walks out from bathroom* -We saved Earth AND Mars! Someone give us a fricken medal, please! Oh, and I managed to re-program the Zorat Robot on this ship to be my servant from now on.
Zorat Robot #818: *appears* (robot voice) Good-morning-Earthlings. It-feels-good to be Monkey's slave.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh... I made him say that. Now Zorat, do that other thing I taught you.
Zorat Robot #818: Yes-Master-Monkey *points laser-arm at Isiah Zombie* Shall I zap the douche.
Monkeysarefunny: IZ, you have two seconds to react before my Zorat Robot FRIES YOUR ASS!
Isiah Zombie: Uhh....... I have to go now, MY PLANET NEEDS ME! *runs off*
Monkeysarefunny: Heh....... Nanu Nanu.
The End