Post by Isiah Zombie on Dec 29, 2007 13:02:20 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
New Year's Old Habits
Episode: 12
Original Post Date: December 29, 2007
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On the night of New Year's Eve.........
*Isiah Zombie and Monkeysarefunny walk into BB's Shanty*
Isiah Zombie: Can you believe it? We bought the last box of fireworks.
Monkeysarefunny: I know, Red Jello Ninja sells everything at his shop. So who's coming over for the New Year's party tomorrow?
Isiah Zombie: Hmm... let's see. Steven says he's coming, but BigBoss and Donutz are still in the maybe category.
Monkeysarefunny: Wow, we're actually having a real party with real fireworks! This is the first time I feel like an adult.
Isiah Zombie: ...What about that one time we stole candy from the liquor store?
Monkeysarefunny: We were kids back then.
Isiah Zombie: Yes, but we were tried as adults in the court of law.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah...
*w00tdude walks in*
w00tdude: Cool! Fireworks!
Monkeysarefunny: Hey, don't touch - they're not ours.
w00tdude: ...Then why is your name on the box?
Monkeysarefunny: The only reason my name is on the box is because I paid for the fireworks.... for reasons I still don't understand.... and how'd you find your way here anyways?
w00tdude: I got a new car.
Isiah Zombie: *looks outside* ....You mean... that riding mower with satellite radio outside?
w00tdude: Yeah that's the one!
Monkeysarefunny: ...So where's Donutz?
w00tdude: Is he in the sunless dungeon again?
Isiah Zombie: I actually don't know where he is right now...
??: HEEEEY!
Isiah Zombie: ...Who said that?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't know, but it's coming from my green backpack.
??: GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Isiah Zombie: ...Donutz, is that you?
Admiral Donutz: You guys locked me in the backpack! GET ME OUT!
Isiah Zombie: Holy crap! Monkey, why would you put a padlock on the backpack?
Monkeysarefunny: To increase security? Look, it's no big deal. Just get someone who can lockpick it and we'll be fine.
Isiah Zombie: Donutz is the only one here who has "lock picking" skillz.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah...
w00tdude: Teh awwwws.... my Harry Potter book was in there.
Isiah Zombie: Who the hell is Henry Potter?
w00tdude: It's "Harry".
Isiah Zombie: Who's Hairy?
Monkeysarefunny: You're hairy.
Isiah Zombie: No you are.
Monkeysarefunny: No you are!
Isiah Zombie: No you!
Monkeysarefunny: Make me!
Isiah Zombie: ....Make you what?
Monkeysarefunny: Make me hairy!
Isiah Zombie: But you're a monkey, you should be hairy already.
Admiral Donutz: I'm still stuck in here guys! Hurry up!
Isiah Zombie: Oh, well we do have the fireworks... so maybe we could blast open the lock with it?
Monkeysarefunny: And I do have "Firestarter" skillz.
w00tdude: Isn't that dangerous
?Isiah Zombie: .....You're dangerous. Alright Monkey, proceed with the blasting of the lock.
Monkeysarefunny: It's in the sunless dungeon.... come with me guys.
Isiah Zombie: Go by yourself.
Monkeysarefunny: I'm scarred of that place. There's open flames and pointy objects everywhere.
Isiah Zombie: Fine.... should we take Donutz with us?
Admiral Donutz: Yes! Don't leave me here! *Isiah Zombie, Monkey, and w00tdude walk downstairs into the basement with the backpack*
Meanwhile....
*BigBoss and Steven walk in*
Steven: Where is everyone, mate?
BigBoss: They're probably backdoor plumbing right now *looks at fireworks box* What the heck is this?
Steven: Looks like bloody explosives
BigBoss: ...Such a **** shocker.
Steven: Pardon?
BigBoss: You know, because these guys rarely do anything dangerous.
Steven: So what do you plan to do with them, mate?
BigBoss: Let's take them to the party across the street. There are actually more than 5 people there
Steven: I don't think we should use these explosives near any houses.... you might kill off some of those pesky pets.
BigBoss: I love pets. I remember I used to have a parrot once, but then it ate glass and died...
Steven: I almost got a parrot once until I learned they live up to be 80 years old - I don't need my pet outliving me, mate.
BigBoss: I think I'll take the fireworks anyways. We could "raise the roof" and set the roof, the roof, the roof on fire!
Steven: But what if someone gets hurt?
BigBoss: It's 3 points to launch the fireworks, and 5 points if someone gets hurt.
Steven: But what if you accidentally blow up someone's house??
BigBoss: ..........That's a 10-point bonus.
Steven: I won't let you do that
BigBoss: Shiver me timbers!
Steven: You'll have to go through me first, mate!
BigBoss: Oh it's ON NOW! EAHHGH!
Steven: Bring it on! ARRRG! *fists start flying*
Meanwhile, in the Sunless Dingeon....
Isiah Zombie: *walking down the stairs* There's no open flames down here, Monkey.
Monkeysarefunny: Well see this mounted dragon head over here? Sometimes it spews out fire- *flames erupt from dragon's mouth towards Monkey's face* AHHHH!
Isiah Zombie: ....Whoa... well, it wasn't that bad. You seem alright...
Monkeysarefunny: I-HAVE-NO-EYEBROWS!!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah about that...
w00tdude: What are we looking for again?
Isiah Zombie: Monkey's lighter. But if he gets toasted down here, then you'll be the one who has to the light the fireworks upstairs.
w00tdude:
My name is not Lego, so don't toy with me!Isiah Zombie: Are you afraid of flames?
w00tdude: Yes, you damn pyromaniacs...
Admiral Donutz: (in backpack) Will you guys hurry up? I'm starting to feel sick...
Monkeysarefunny: Maybe it's from eating IZ's fishsticks yesterday.
Isiah Zombie: What? Those fishsticks were fine.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, but they were just so....... fishy.
Isiah Zombie: ...Oh dude! It's New Year's Eve! What time is it?
Monkeysarefunny: *looks at clock on the wall* It's 8:00 pm.
Isiah Zombie: Okay, that clock only has one hand.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah...... should we look for the minute hand?
Isiah Zombie: No! We don't have time for that! Look at your watch, what time is it?
Monkeysarefunny: It's not a watch, it just counts my steps. *looks at watch* Holy crap! I'm at 32! I better slow it down.
w00tdude: Uh-oh....
Isiah Zombie: What is it?
w00tdude: I think we're lost...
Monkeysarefunny: Oh ****! I think you're right! What if we're stuck down here forever?! What are we supposed to eat??
Isiah Zombie: Perhaps a stray Cocoa Puff on the floor?
Monkeysarefunny: OHMAHGAD!
*5 Minutes Later*
Isiah Zombie: Well we've all wondered what human flesh taste like, right? So seriously..... you in?
Monkeysarefunny: No! I'm not going to eat Mutton Butt for dinner, alright man?
Isiah Zombie: Well, suit yourself. I happen to be a zombie so it makes no difference to me.
w00tdude: .....I ....I won't let you just eat me... I'll.... I'll put up a fight!
Isiah Zombie: All I want is the meat, how I get it is up to you.
w00tdude: AHH! *runs to the corner and grabs a baseball bat* Stay back! I'm warning you!
Isiah Zombie: *slowly walking forward* We can do this the easy way, or we can this my way *raises arms*
Monkeysarefunny: Hey look over here!
Isiah Zombie: I know you're just trying to distract me, Monkey, and it ain't working *grabs w00tdude*
Monkeysarefunny: No look! I found my lighter!
Isiah Zombie: Really? Well, umm, sorry... *lets go of w00tdude*
Monkeysarefunny: Yay! Now we can get out of here!
Isiah Zombie: But I thought we were lost?
Monkeysarefunny: *looks back* ........We're 5 feet away from the stairs we came from.
Isiah Zombie: Oh... well we still have time to light the fireworks and get Donutz out of the backpack before the New Year's Eve countdown!
w00tdude: ...Aha! *hits IZ with the baseball bat*
Isiah Zombie: Gah.....will you KNOCK IT OFF??
w00tdude: Oh, sorry....
Monkeysarefunny: Alright, let's go back upstairs.
*Isiah Zombie, Monkey, and w00tdude run upstairs with Donutz in the backpack*
Isiah Zombie: *looks at the floor* What the heck happened here?
Monkeysarefunny: Looks like BigBoss and Steven knocked each other out.
Isiah Zombie: Yes it seems that way.
Monkeysarefunny: How do you think this could've happened? .......... EYES. OFF. ME.
Isiah Zombie: I don't know.... hey wait! Where are the fireworks?
w00tdude: Quick! To the kitchen!
Isiah Zombie: Ummm.... okay?
*Everyone runs to the kitchen*
Isiah Zombie: Oh man! This place is a mess! There's trashed fireworks everywhere! What kind of animal would do this?
Monkeysarefunny: An animal with great taste!
Isiah Zombie: This is unbelievable!
*Caboose walks in*
Caboose: Hello there, you cotton scallywags!
Isiah Zombie: Uhh... Caboose? What are you doing here?
Caboose: Yarg! It's the New Year's celebration!..... Actually, I got in a fight back in my dorm so the bloke in charge expelled me.
Monkeysarefunny: .....So you got in one little fight and your dorm got scarred and said you're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air...?
Caboose: Aha! Precisely! Hoist the Yard Arm!
Isiah Zombie: Well what the hell happened to BigBoss, and Steven, and the fireworks?
Caboose: They were both fighting so I bashed the both of 'em to Neverland.
Isiah Zombie: And the fireworks?
Caboose: I blasted them off into the skies.
Isiah Zombie: But we needed those for the celebration.... and to blow off the padlock on the backpack.
w00tdude: Now how are we supposed to get Donutz out of there?
Caboose: You say a friend of yours is stuck in a backpack, ay? Well I know a group of buckaneers who can get him out of the backpack in no time... free of charge.
Admiral Donutz: (in backpack) Who is it?
Caboose: The Cockmongler's Pirate Crew.
Admiral Donutz: Fffffff****! Not again!
Isiah Zombie: Heh heh. So.... what time is it right now?
Monkeysarefunny: There's 2 minutes left until the New Year.
*BigBoss walks in*
BigBoss: Whoa.... what happened? I woke up next to Steven on the floor and I don't remember a thing.
Isiah Zombie: You two were umm..... you two were backdoor plumbing.
BigBoss: ........Riiiight.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, we have the whole thing on tape. It's the "BigBoss and Steven Backdoor Plumbing" tape.
BigBoss: ......
w00tdude: Really? There's a tape?
Monkeysarefunny: Yep.
BigBoss: Well hand it over noobs!
Monkeysarefunny: It's in the backpack with Donutz. And it's going to be opened tomorrow..... you should go to.
BigBoss: Umm... alright. Who's going to open it?
Monkeysarefunny: The Cockmongler's Pirate Crew.
BigBoss: Oh hell no!!
Isiah Zombie: Happy New Years, SUCKAS!
