Post by Isiah Zombie on Feb 23, 2008 8:54:58 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
BANana Island
Episode: 20
Original Post Date: February 23, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Admiral Donutz are in the Shanty together. BigBoss is asleep on the couch.
Isiah Zombie: So.... who here wants to go on a vacation next week?
Admiral Donutz: Sure, that sounds like a great idea.
Isiah Zombie: What about you Monkey, want to join us?
Monkeysarefunny: Eh.... I can't.... I have exploratory surgery next week...
Isiah Zombie: That sucks... I wonder if I should invite BB instead?
Admiral Donutz: I don't see why not.
Isiah Zombie: Well if I don't, he'll probably start stalking me.
Monkeysarefunny: BB doesn't stalk. That's my job and you know it, IZ.
Isiah Zombie: Well ever since you starting stalking me I've come up with clever ways to get back at you.
Monkeysarefunny: Would any of those "clever ways" have anything to do with that purple paint bucket hung ever so inconspicuously over my room door?
Admiral Donutz: No, that was me - separate issue.
Monkeysarefunny: Ah.
*Rex bursts in*
BigBoss: *wakes up* ...
Rex: AHA! I'm back!
Isiah Zombie: What?? NOOO! Not you again!
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh.... who... are you... again?
Rex: I'm REX! And Rex means King! Now bow down to your new MASTER!
Admiral Donutz: *looks at Rex's finger* What's wrong with your finger?
Rex: I'm going to the hospital to get my finger fixed; someone punch my finger in and now it possibly popped out of the socket, and it feels like a bone is fractured....
BigBoss: Haha.
Monkeysarefunny: Maybe you should be careful where you put your finger in.... Ka-pow!
BigBoss: And Rex gets owned.
Isiah Zombie: For the 10th time.
Admiral Donutz: In a row.
Monkeysarefunny: Non-stop.
Rex: I said someone punched it in! So shut the hell up!
Isiah Zombie: You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to ban you to BANana Island once and for all!
Monkeysarefunny: *El Gaspo!* Couldn't we just go to the forest and let him...... go?
Admiral Donutz: We can't do that. Rex will find his way home again - like a cat.
Isiah Zombie: I'm going to do it now! *raises BAN Staff* I hereby expel Rex from all further appearances in this Shanty or in any other area within the premises!
Rex: NO! You can't do that! The more you ban me the more I will multiply!
Isiah Zombie: Any more rumors will be rewarded with a stick in the face! *holds up BAN staff*
Rex: Please don't do it... *sniff*
Isiah Zombie: You will do backbreaking work that will literally break your back! See you in the next life, Rex.
BigBoss: See you later, n00blet!
Monkeysarefunny: Good day, sir!
Admiral Donutz: Bye.... Rex.
Rex: Nooo! You stupid son of a-
Isiah Zombie: -BE GONE!
Rex: ... *vanishes in a puff of smoke*
Monkeysarefunny: That was..... that was beautiful.
BigBoss: Meh, whatever *goes back to sleep*
Isiah Zombie: Well, that's the end of that.
One day later, on a warm and breezy afternoon, in a tropical beach somewhere on an island far away...
Rex: Servant! More fruit punch, please!
Servant Juan: *runs over* Yes sir.
Rex: Yes! This is the life! I'm glad I got banned to BANana Island!
Servant Juan: ...Sir, this is not BANana-
Rex: Quiet! I come from a land that is very rich.... I can get you anything you want. Tell me what you want.... now SERVANT!
Servant Juan: Call me Juan. I want some movies, especially these ones: The Juanfather, Juan in a Million, Juance Upon A Star, Juan with the Wind-
Rex: I've never heard any of those....
Servant Juan: -A Hole in Juan, Juan in 60 Seconds, Juanoleon Dynamite, Juan to the Future-
Rex: No! No movies for you! Get me some more fruit punch NOW!
Servant Juan: -Juan of the Dead, How to Lose a Juan in 10 Days, Juan Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, It's a Juanderful Life-
Rex: No-no-NO!
Servant Juan: The Lord of the Tacos: Return of the Juan, Juan Missed Call, Freaky Fajitas, The Landscape Before Time....
Meanwhile, back at the Shanty.
Isiah Zombie: *brings in mail* Whoa.... I got a postcard from Rex.
Admiral Donutz: Is it from BANana Island?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, looks like it.
Monkeysarefunny: ! Let me see! I bet Rex doesn't like all that pain and suffering that he's been deserving for the past few years- *looks at picture* -what the hell? He's relaxing under a palm tree! And, is that a banana shaped SHACK??
Isiah Zombie: Umm... that can't be it. My ban staff was supposed to send Rex to the men who deal with the banned.
Admiral Donutz: Make no mistake....... those men, make no mistake.
Monkeysarefunny: Well that island looks awesome! How come you NEVER sent us there??
Isiah Zombie: That's a very good question, a fair question.... one which deserves a very good answer.....
Monkeysarefunny: Well.......?
Isiah Zombie: I'm sorry, what was the question again?
Monkeysarefunny: The question was: how come you never sent us to this tropical island?
Isiah Zombie: Well, the flight plans are in my safe.... and I can't remember the password.
Monkeysarefunny: What's so tricky about the number 5?
Isiah Zombie: Wait, you know it??
Monkeysarefunny: Send me and Donutz to the island NOW!
Isiah Zombie: But I thought you had exploratory surgery next week. Hm-skee?
Monkeysarefunny: Huh? Oh... yeah... I don't need to go anymore..... because........ the coin worked its way out.
Isiah Zombie: Okay fine. I will send the both of you over there. Let me go outside and get flight plans from the car *walks out*
*sound of squealing tires outside, followed by a VROOM!*
Admiral Donutz: Ffffff***!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh! That bastard!
Admiral Donutz: He's not going to send us to BANana Island!
Monkeysarefunny: ....Or.... is he?
Admiral Donutz: No, he's not.
Monkeysarefunny: Think about it, what did Rex have to do to be sent off to BANana Island?
Admiral Donutz: He got his finger broken and had to get banned.
Monkeysarefunny: Exactly! Which means that if we want to go to BANana Island, we have to....?
Admiral Donutz: Get our fingers broken?
Monkeysarefunny: *sigh* Think harder...
Admiral Donutz: We have to get banned?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes - we have to get banned. Heh heh heh...
One day later, on a warm and breezy early morning, on a tropical beach somewhere in island far away...
Rex: Juan! This time I want whale shoes made from real whales! Get to it!
Servant Juan: Yes sir....
Rex: *phone rings* Juan, if it's for me, tell them I'm busy ignoring them.
Servant Juan: Yes sir... *answers phone* Hello? Yes....... yes...... oh? I see........ mm-hmm....... I will get right on it! *hangs up*
Rex: Who was it? Was it my World of Warcraft buddy Allen ?
Servant Juan: I'm afraid not, sir. It seems as if there was a mistake in your flight plans.
Rex: What do you mean? Huh? ANSWER ME!
Servant Juan: Sir, this is not BANana Island - I tried to tell you. This is Vanilla Island, a tropical resort.
Rex: Wait.... this is NOT BANana Island?
Servant Juan: No sir. The real BANana Island makes you do backbreaking work that will literally break your back.
Rex: I've heard... so what's going to happen to me now?
Servant Juan: The guy on the phone said that you will vanish in 3..... 2..... 1.....
Rex: ... *vanishes in a puff of smoke*
Meanwhile, back in the Shanty.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, I can't wait to be sent to BANana Island! Home of the tropicalz!
Admiral Donutz: Me too! I got all the stuff I need packed in my trusty Backpack!
Monkeysarefunny: Okay, remember, when IZ walks in we need to get ourselves banned, got it?
Admiral Donutz: Ayup.
*IZ walks in*
Isiah Zombie: Okay, I got the flight plans ready and-
Monkeysarefunny: Really? Remind me to send you a picture of me yawning.
Isiah Zombie: Uhh... what? I just said I got the flight plans ready-
Admiral Donutz: You go girl!
Isiah Zombie: Ummm.... if you keep this up, I'm going to gut you guys like a deer, heh.
Monkeysarefunny: You're a limp little Nancy boy who can't satisfy a woman!
Isiah Zombie: Kay I was just kidding - and you went to a really dark place...
Admiral Donutz: You're such a lonely bitter man-child
Isiah Zombie: What the hell? It's almost as if you guys want me to ban you.
Monkeysarefunny: No, that only happens in the sick little world where you're the God.
Isiah Zombie: Do you have a problem with me?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't have a problem with you.
Isiah Zombie: You just called me a limp little Nancy boy.
Monkeysarefunny: Exactly, I don't have a problem with that.
Isiah Zombie: Well do you know what I think?
Admiral Donutz: If we say yes, do you still have to tell us?
Isiah Zombie: ...I think I'll have to punish you guys physically! *grabs baseball bat* Okay, who's first?
Monkeysarefunny: *steps up* I'm a big boy, I can take it.
Isiah Zombie: Okay - brace yourself! *hits Monkey's head hard*
Monkeysarefunny: Ah...... that hurts sooooo good.
Isiah Zombie: You want a war then, huh? Well you got one, man!
Monkeysarefunny: No, I don't want a war.
Isiah Zombie: Well you got one man!
Monkeysarefunny: Yes! There is God!
Isiah Zombie: What? Oh that is it! *raises BAN Staff*
Monkeysarefunny: Whoohoo! C'mon Donutz, stand close to me.
Admiral Donutz: Yay ;D
Isiah Zombie: I hereby expel Monkey and Donutz from all further appearances in this Shanty or in any other area within the premises!
*Large puff of smoke appears*
One day later, at the REAL BANana Island, Monkey and Donutz are in a little hut with a small bathroom.....
Monkeysarefunny: (to self) Well, this place looks nothing like the postcard that Rex sent us.
Admiral Donutz: *walks in from bathroom* MAF, is your toothbrush the green one or the red one?
Monkeysarefunny: Green one.
Admiral Donutz: Ffffff***! *walks back into bathroom*
Monkeysarefunny: *calls IZ on phone* H-Hey... IZ...
Isiah Zombie: (on phone) Huh? What do you want?
Monkeysarefunny: Where the hell am I? The lights are out and I hear someone laughing.
Isiah Zombie: You're probably in Taco Bell.... hey listen, since you're at BANana Island, can you keep a close eye on Rex? If he takes a crap, I wanna know about it.
Monkeysarefunny: How am I supposed to keep track of him?
Isiah Zombie: You wanna know? Okay, I'll tell you, but don't laugh......... cowbells....... Kay thanks bye *hangs up*
Monkeysarefunny: (to self) I still don't understand this mix-up.... the Rex postcard looks like a tropical island...
Admiral Donutz: Yeah I know.
Monkeysarefunny: Whoa! I thought you were in the bathroom?
Admiral Donutz: I was behind you, in your shadow.
Monkeysarefunny: Ah.
Admiral Donutz: Let me look at the postcard *grabs postcard* ...... mm-hmm.... okay, I see it now.
Monkeysarefunny: You see what now??
Admiral Donutz: Look at the background, see the sign in the back?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, you mean the one that says "Welcome to Vanilla Island"?
Admiral Donutz: Ayup.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh.......... Ffffff***! Wrong island!
Admiral Donutz: Hey You stole my line!