Post by Isiah Zombie on Feb 9, 2008 8:52:51 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Alter Ego
Episode: 18
Original Post Date: February 9, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkey, and Donutz are in the Shanty watching TV.
Admiral Donutz: Hey what are we watching again?
Monkeysarefunny: "Funny Hat Time Hour."
Isiah Zombie: It's a pretty good show, actually. Makes you appreciate hats more.
*w00tdude walks in*
w00tdude: Hey guys! I'm Mesa Back!
Admiral Donutz: Really? I didn't notice you were gone.
Isiah Zombie: Have you done your chores yet, w00tdude?
w00tdude: What chores?
Monkeysarefunny: You need to clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, fix the stove, and then get out of here, boy!
w00tdude: But I don't wanna.
Monkeysarefunny: Do it now! *FWACK*
w00tdude: Owwwww..... *sniff*
Monkeysarefunny: You gonna cry about it? I got a cellphone right here, want to call your mommy?
w00tdude: No.... I'll do my chores... *walks out*
Admiral Donutz: Why are you always so mean to w00ty?
Monkeysarefunny: Mutton Butt is my rodeo clown, I can do whatever I want with him.
Isiah Zombie: You know, one of these days he's going to get his revenge on you.
Monkeysarefunny: Nah, it'll never happen.
Admiral Donutz: I think maybe-
Monkeysarefunny: Shut up you rat bastards! It's the Funny Hat Time Hour!
Ding - Dong......
Isiah Zombie: *opens door* You back already?
Dark w00tdude: SILENCE! I wish to speak to the head of this household IMMEDIATELY!
Isiah Zombie: See what you did, Monkey? You got w00tdude upset.
Monkeysarefunny: Dammit, go do you chores NOW!
Dark w00tdude: *walks over to TV* I DEMAND RESPECT NOW! *shakes TV violently*
Monkeysarefunny: What's the matter with you? Why did you shake the TV? It's the Funny Hat Time Hour!
Isiah Zombie: Well... good thing those hats were strapped on...
Dark w00tdude: I AM IN CHARGE NOW! You three! Clean the bathroom, mow the yard, and fix the stove, NOW! *lifts TV over head* YOU ALL BELONG TO ME! *smashes TV*
Monkeysarefunny: NO! Not the TV.... WHYYY?
Isiah Zombie: You know Monkey, there are other things in life other than sitting on your ass and watching TV all day.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh yeah? Like what
Dark w00tdude: Do your chores now! I'm going to be on you like a CHEAP SUIT from now on!
Isiah Zombie: Okay.
Dark w00tdude: ...I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, the choice is yours, all I know is that those chores will be done NOW!
Isiah Zombie: Alright.
Dark w00tdude: ...I am not running a free charity around here, the world does not revolve around you three!
Isiah Zombie: Got it.
Dark w00tdude: ...There are other people who don't-
Isiah Zombie: I said alright already! Sheesh!
Dark w00tdude: Hmph... *walks out*
Admiral Donutz: I never knew w00ty had such "strength" skillz to lift that TV...
Monkeysarefunny: I needs mah TV!
Isiah Zombie: You can't watch TV all the time. It's bad for you.
Monkeysarefunny: Can! And did! And LOVED IT!
Admiral Donutz: W00ty scared me just now... *sniff*
Monkeysarefunny: I know.... *sniff*
Isiah Zombie: Are you guys crying?
Monkeysarefunny: No! ... Damn allergies...
Admiral Donutz: *sniff* ........ I know - fricken pollen!
Isiah Zombie: What should we do?
Monkeysarefunny: Let's all join hands and form a circle.
Isiah Zombie: But there's only three of us.
Monkeysarefunny: Then I guess a triangle will have to do.
Isiah Zombie: ........Let's not join hands.
Monkeysarefunny: Okay, time for a hug.
Isiah Zombie: Love scene OVER. Aren't we supposed to be doing chores right now?
Monkeysarefunny: Chores? CHORES?? What's next - barcodes on our heads?
*w00tdude walks in*
w00tdude: Okay, I finished cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, and I fixed the stove. Happy?
Monkeysarefunny: What the deuce?!
Admiral Donutz: You did the chores that you told US to do?
w00tdude: I didn't tell you to do any chores.
Isiah Zombie: Do you think that the w00tdude that told us to do the chores could have been a different w00tdude?
Admiral Donutz: But they look exactly the same.
w00tdude: What's going on here?
Monkeysarefunny: Nothing special, so turn off the interrogation light, INSPECTOR!
w00tdude: Why are you mad a me?
Monkeysarefunny: Shouldn't you be in the North Pole making toys?
w00tdude: What?
Monkeysarefunny: How about you get your ass out the house cuz I'm sick of your face?
w00tdude: Teh awwwws.... *walks out*
Isiah Zombie: I really don't think our w00tdude could've lifted that TV over his head. It was an IMPOSTER!
*Dark w00tdude walks in*
Dark w00tdude: Good job with the chores! I've underestimated you three!
Monkeysarefunny: If you're the real w00tdude.... then answer this: did you have to repeat kindergarden?
Dark w00tdude: No I did not.
Monkeysarefunny: Well... you did.
Dark w00tdude: What? You TOLD ME THAT WAS SUPER KINDERGARDEN!!
Monkeysarefunny: Yup, this is the same w00tdude.
Isiah Zombie: Then... how do you explain the superhuman strength?
Dark w00tdude: Hmph.... you mean THIS? *FWACKS Monkey*
Monkeysarefunny: Ack! *collapses*
Admiral Donutz: Oh no! We need to get MAF to the doctor!
Isiah Zombie: Right! Let's call Dr. Bumtickle!
Five minutes later, in Dr. Bumtickle's office.
*phone rings*
Dr. Bumtickle: Hello?
Isiah Zombie: (on phone) Hey doctor! My friend collapsed and he's projectile vomiting everywhere!
Dr. Bumtickle: Is this the first time?
Isiah Zombie: No, you idiot! This is IZ, his admin! What should I do?
Dr. Bumtickle: Bring him in, I'll examine him.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, I'm on my way! *hangs up*
Dr. Bumtickle: Ah, kids these days.
*phone rings again*
Dr. Bumtickle: Hello?
Random Patient: Doctor! I think I'm a cat!
Dr. Bumtickle: How long has this been going on?
Random Patient: Since I was a kitten!
Dr. Bumtickle: Come on in, I'll examine you.
*Isiah Zombie and Donutz burst in with Monkey on a stretcher*
Isiah Zombie: Doctor! We're here!
Dr. Bumtickle: Wow, that wast fast. Wait in the waiting room, I need to examine him alone.
Admiral Donutz: Hey doctor, remember me?
Dr. Bumtickle: I said wait outside! They don't call me Dr. Bumtickle for nothing!
Isiah Zombie and Donutz walk out of the office.
Monkeysarefunny: *slowly regains consciousness* Where am I?
Dr. Bumtickle: How are we doing today? I feel great, you on the other hand, look like hell.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey I remember you! Where's Doctor Bong?
Dr. Bumtickle: He got a scar on his face.... like Scarface.
Monkeysarefunny: So now he's Doctor Bongface?
Dr. Bumtickle: Listen, I need to take some X-rays of your head. You've seemed to have take a nasty blow.
Monkeysarefunny: Really? I don't remember.
Dr. Bumtickle: It's amnesia, have you ever had this before?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes.
Dr. Bumtickle: Well, you've got it again!
Monkeysarefunny: Is it common?
Dr. Bumtickle: There's a lot of this going around, it's the third time this week. I'd better learn something about this...
Monkeysarefunny: So what do the X-rays show?
Dr. Bumtickle: I'm doing that right now. Can you tell me where it hurts?
Monkeysarefunny: It stings..... right here *points to right arm, then moves to head*
Dr. Bumtickle: The X-rays of your head are done!
Monkeysarefunny: Uhhh.... what do they show?
Dr. Bumtickle: Absolutely nothing!
Monkeysarefunny: Is that good?
Dr. Bumtickle: Look son, you suffer from a condition known as "Insane in the Membrane."
Monkeysarefunny: Ohmahgad no.... is there any treatment for it?
Dr. Bumtickle: Maybe it will go away by itself.
Monkeysarefunny: You mean, I can't take any pills for it?
Dr. Bumtickle: There's 'natural recovery'... which is in your blood.
Monkeysarefunny: Really?
Dr. Bumtickle: I can't go into detail.
Meanwhile, in the waiting room.
Admiral Donutz: I saw a movie yesterday.
Isiah Zombie: Which one?
Admiral Donutz: LesBionic Woman.
Isiah Zombie: That's umm... that's good.
Admiral Donutz: So what did you tell the doctor on the phone about how MAF got hurt?
Isiah Zombie: I said that Monkey was running a marathon and he jumped over a burning truck to save a dying child while balancing on a steel pole.
Admiral Donutz: Why is MAF so active? Do you realize in real life he rarely gets out of a chair?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah... but, what do you think I should do about that other w00tdude?
Admiral Donutz: Isn't he very strong?
Isiah Zombie: I know, so what do you think I should do?
Admiral Donutz: Aren't you a mermaid weakling?
Isiah Zombie: I KNOW! What do you think I-should-do??
Admiral Donutz: I don't give a flying crap! Just unplug your head from your butt and do what you gotta do!
Isiah Zombie: ...I don't think I've ever seen you this mad before.
Admiral Donutz: I know. So what do you plan on doing to that other w00ty?
Isiah Zombie: I'm going to do something unholy involving him and that armchair!
Admiral Donutz: Whoo! You're finally going to do something dangerous!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah... I wonder what's taking Monkey so long.
Meanwhile, in the doctor's office.
Dr. Bumtickle: You can take these pills, they look safe.
Monkeysarefunny: How many do I take a day?
Dr. Bumtickle: Umm... two.
Monkeysarefunny: The bottle shows a one, with a question mark.
Dr. Bumtickle: And we're done here! Come back next week! ..... Thank God I'm off next week...
Monkeysarefunny: Quick question for you, doctor: isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Dr. Bumtickle: Yes, I know because I actually had to pass the medical bar exam.
Monkeysarefunny: And did this "bar exam" involve you going to the bar?
Dr. Bumtickle: Off you go!
*Monkey walks out of office into the waiting room*
Isiah Zombie: Monkey draje, what's hood, son?
Monkeysarefunny: Nothing, I just have amnesia.
Admiral Donutz: Oh good, I thought you were going to be treated for grasstains.
Monkeysarefunny: What the deuce?!
Isiah Zombie: So what do we do now?
Monkeysarefunny: Let's go kick Mutton Butt's ass!
Admiral Donutz: Both of them?
Isiah Zombie: Yah
