Post by Isiah Zombie on Jan 26, 2008 10:38:23 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Working at the Zone
Episode: 16
Original Post Date: January 26, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny and Donutz are in the Shanty together.
Isiah Zombie: Hey guys, I need to write a report about a novel for my class next week... and I need your help.
Admiral Donutz: You could write a novel about a guy who needs to choose a novel for a report, then write your report about that.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, and then, in that report, mention how you wrote a novel about a guy who needs to write a report about a novel.
Isiah Zombie: You guys are making it sound harder than it really is.
Admiral Donutz: ...Or you could just play your DS during class.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, that usually tides ME over *starts playing Fire Emblem* ....See?.... *healer is easily slaughtered by own Berserked Great Knight* HE WASN'T THE CLOSEST UNIT! *throws Game Boy* ....Looks like I need a new plan...
Isiah Zombie: Well, one time I was playing my DS during class and the teacher said "hand over that big mobile phone of yours."
Admiral Donutz: HAH!
Monkeysarefunny: Just quit your classes, you failed them anyways.
Isiah Zombie: And then do what?
Admiral Donutz: We could all get jobs somewhere...?
Monkeysarefunny: Hey yeah! I know a place called 'The Zone' where they sell videogames and stuff, we could all go work there.
Isiah Zombie: Umm... .... I don't know about that...
Admiral Donutz: Geez, IZ, don't be such a mermaid.
Monkeysarefunny: .....Ka-pow?
Isiah Zombie: I guess we could go work at 'The Zone' for awhile.
Admiral Donutz: That's cool.
Monkeysarefunny: Stah bueno.
*w00tdude walks in*
w00tdude: My riding mower broke down and I can't fix it
Isiah Zombie: You could just use our Ducted Tape.
Admiral Donutz: Ah yes, Ducted Tape - what can't it fix?
Monkeysarefunny: Relationships. Oh wait... nevermind.
w00tdude: Are you guys going somewhere?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, we're going to 'The Zone'.
Admiral Donutz: BUT! You can't come because....
Monkeysarefunny: ...Because it's a place where they stick a camera up your ass.
w00tdude: Eh.... ewwww?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, so, we're leaving right now.
Admiral Donutz: You should probably stay inside, w00ty.
Monkeysarefunny: Make sure to close all the windows and lock all the doors when we leave.
w00tdude: Why?
Isiah Zombie: Because there's Pizzlies outside.
Admiral Donutz: What the hell is a pizzly?
Monkeysarefunny: It's a mixture between a polar bear and a grizzly bear.
w00tdude:
One day later, at 'The Zone'........
Admiral Donutz: Well that interview went well.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, who knew that Monkey could projectile vomit so well?
Monkeysarefunny: A Monkey's gotta do what a Monkey's gotta do...
Admiral Donutz: So do we just stand here waiting for customers?
Isiah Zombie: I guess so - oh here comes our first customer!
*customer walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Hello, welcome to The Zone, the cone of the videogame dome, where the lone phone of our moan comes home.
Customer #1: ........
Admiral Donutz: Monkey needs to improve on his rapping "skillz".
Isiah Zombie: Yeah I know.... so customer, do you need our help with anything?
Customer #1: I'm looking for Wii Sabers, do you have them?
Admiral Donutz: They're only for Starwars nerds.
Monkeysarefunny: No, they're only for Starwars nerds without a penis.
Customer #1: They're for my little boy
Monkeysarefunny: Are you sure it's not a little girl?
Customer #1: I don't need this! I'm outta here! *walks out*
Admiral Donutz: There goes our first pay-check...
Isiah Zombie: Dammit, Monkey, we need the money so behave YOURSELF!
Meanwhile, back in BB's Shanty, w00tdude is alone...
*BigBoss walks in*
BigBoss: Where is everyone?
w00tdude: They all went to The Zone.
BigBoss: The Zone? What is that?
w00tdude: It's a place where they stick a camera up your ass.
BigBoss: SHIVER ME TIMBERS!
w00tdude: And I couldn't go with them.... teh suckish.
BigBoss: Wow, now that's what I call a backdoor plumbing tape!
w00tdude: I need some Ducted Tape to fix my riding mower.
BigBoss: Let's go to the Prince Bar, I know Steven has some...
Several minutes later, back at The Zone....
Isiah Zombie: Okay, here comes another customer, don't act like a weirdo, Monkey.
*customer walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Hello, welcome to The Zone, where Link's "Master Sword" accidentally slips into Falcon's "Pedestal of Time" forever and ever.
Customer #2: ...Hello, I was wondering if you had Wii Balls on sale?
Admiral Donutz: What the hell are Wii Balls?
Monkeysarefunny: Maybe Customer #1 should've bought Wii Balls for his girlish son...
Isiah Zombie: Monkey - be quiet!
Customer #2: So you don't have them on sale? I need two Wii Balls and a Wii Stick to play Hardcore Golf.
Isiah Zombie: Do you plan to play this game with three people?
Customer #2: I can't - the game is only two players.
Monkeysarefunny: Three people can't play golf together?? It's not SEX for Godsake!!
Isiah Zombie: Actually, I think I saw a pair in the storage room earlier.
Admiral Donutz: You saw two balls in the storage room??
Monkeysarefunny: Well, they should at least be on sale....
Customer #2: You mean they're not on sale? I think I'll go shop somewhere else, thanks you *walks out*
Isiah Zombie: ...You lost us another customer, Monkey!
Meanwhile, at the Prince Bar, w00tdude and BigBoss enter...
w00tdude: So Steven has Ducted Tape here?
BigBoss: Yeah - HEY STEVEN, over here!
Steven: *walking closer* Hey there, mates.
BigBoss: Do you have any Ducted Tape?
Steven: Sure, I could go get some..... umm, where's IZ, Donutz and Monkey?
w00tdude: They went to The Zone.
Steven: The Zone? What's that?
w00tdude: It's a place where they stick a camera up your ass.
Steven: ...Yikes! I need to go tell Caboose about this, mate!
BigBoss: Yeah! Spread the word!
One hour later, back at The Zone.....
Isiah Zombie: Alright, I see someone else coming in, Don't SCREW THIS UP MONKEY!
Monkeysarefunny: Settle down, IZ.
Admiral Donutz: But we haven't earned any money yet...
*customer walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Hello, welcome to The Zone, where I'm keepin' it raw, illegal, like Malik and Jamal. Cause I don't believe in the law, like I'm Steven Segal.
Admiral Donutz: Monkey's rapping "skillz" are improving...
Isiah Zombie: Yah, seriously.
Customer #3: Hello, do you guys sell Television sets here?
Admiral Donutz: No, but we do sell Picture Tube Televisions.
Customer #3: Aren't those for the internet?
Admiral Donutz: Ummm.... no?
Customer #3: But... the Internet is a series of tubes... isn't it?
Admiral Donutz: Well, it's certainly not a dump truck.
Isiah Zombie: Heh heh heh...
Monkeysarefunny: That was kinda funny...
Customer #3: Are you two laughing at me?
Isiah Zombie: No, not really.
Customer #3: Because I could call 1-800-Henchman and have this place crawling with people who will KICK YOUR ASS!
Admiral Donutz: W-What should we do, guys?
Monkeysarefunny: It's time to kick some ass and chew bubblegum!
Customer #3: I'll fight you myself right now! Bring it on!
Monkeysarefunny: Well take THIS! *projectile vomit*
Customer #3: *gets hit in the face* Ugggg! WHYYY?!
Isiah Zombie: Guys, let's get outta here!
Admiral Donutz: I agree, let's go!
Monkeysarefunny: Don't forget to snag a copy of Super Mario Man, first.
Isiah Zombie: Kotay Tang!
Meanwhile, on a pirate ship somewhere near a forest...
Steven: Caboose, you in here, mate?
Caboose: *walks out of cabin* YARG!
Steven: I come bearing good news.
Caboose: Well out with it, boy!
Steven: IZ, Donutz, and Monkey went to place where they got a camera... stuck up their asses.
Caboose: ...Did the swabby group get paid for it?
Steven: Not that I know of.
Caboose: They well should've gone to the Cockmongler's Pirate Crew! They do it free of charge, scallywag!
Steven: Well, tell everyone you know about this. Spread the word, mate!
Caboose: I'll be right on it, matey! Hoist the YARD ARM!
One week later, back at BB's Shanty...
*IZ, Donutz, and Monkey walk inside*
BigBoss: *appears in a puff of smoke in living room* AHA! There you guys are !
Isiah Zombie: Yeah.... so?
Admiral Donutz: Were you waiting for us the whole time?
BigBoss: I've heard some great news about you three, and boy am I interested ;D!
Monkeysarefunny: ....Scaring me....
BigBoss: So, how was it as 'The Zone'?
Isiah Zombie: Meh.... working at 'The Zone' sucked.
BigBoss: Hahahah, you worked there?
Admiral Donutz: We didn't even get paid for going to The Zone.
BigBoss: You mean, you did it for free?
Monkeysarefunny: Pretty much.
BigBoss: Hahaha... this is too funny. Did you enjoy working there ?
Isiah Zombie: It was alright, but the customers can be a real pain up the ass.
BigBoss: ..............HAHAHAHA!
Admiral Donutz: What is so funny?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah seriously?
BigBoss: You guys got a camera stuck up your ass!
Monkeysarefunny: No we didn't. I just told Mutton Butt that so that he wouldn't join us.
BigBoss: You mean... it was fake?
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, pretty much.
BigBoss: But w00tdude told me.... then I told Steven...... who then Cabosse... who then told the Pirate's Cockmongler's Crew. Everyone thinks you three did a backdoor plumbing tape!
Monkeysarefunny: You mean, like, a threesome?
BigBoss: I don't know, but I called in for some media coverage to cover this story... they should be arriving.... right about now.
Ding - Dong........
Isiah Zombie: *opens door* Hello...?
TV Reporter: Hello there, my camera crew will begin taping NOW!
Isiah Zombie: Uhhh.... taping what?
TV Reporter: The Live 24 hour coverage of the 'Up Yours' trio, silly!
Isiah Zombie: Yes, clearly, I'M the silly one....
TV Reporter: Do you mind if we stick this camera up your ass?
Isiah Zombie: Actually, yes, I do mind.
TV Reporter: Oh no! I just noticed - our camera is broken....
Monkeysarefunny: Well, there's nothing that a little Ducted Tape can't fix. Go get the Ducted Tape, Donutz.
Admiral Donutz: Where is it?
Monkeysarefunny: Up yours.
Admiral Donutz: Fffffff***!