Post by Isiah Zombie on Oct 20, 2007 11:21:41 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Welcome to America
Episode: 2
Original Post Date: October 20, 2007
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IZ goes to his computer and opens up his e-mail folder. There's an email from Steven that reads: "Hey IZ, wanna meet the real me? Some of my mates and I have agreed that we shall go to the grand US of A this weekend. We know exactly where we are going to, and that's BB's Shanty. It'd be great to meet some of you guys there if that's at all possible. So make sure you guys are there waiting for me. You know why? Because I'm the Prince. Hahaha suckers. (btw, my flight details are in the attachment) IZ grabs his coat.
Isiah Zombie: I'd better tell BB about this. *heads off to BB's Shanty*
Big Boss is in house wearing only boxers again...
*IZ knocks on door*
*BB checks the outside through the little peephole on door*
BigBoss: Who's there?
Isiah Zombie: It's me. Let me in.
BigBoss: I'm not wearing any pants and I know you don't like that.
Isiah Zombie: Dammit! Put some pants on!
BigBoss: This is MY house.
Isiah Zombie: Fine, I'll stay outside.
BigBoss: What do you want?
Isiah Zombie: I got an email from Steven. Turns out he's coming over for the weekend.
BigBoss: I know. He sent me a letter.
Isiah Zombie: Wait, you mean, like a physical hardbound snail-mail envelope letter?
BigBoss: Yeah.
Isiah Zombie: How come Steven only sent me an normal email?
BigBoss: He's probably just saving up on paper. You know, Al Gore... global warming... what can you do?
Isiah Zombie: Maybe he prefers you more....
BigBoss: Maybe he does.
Isiah Zombie: .......
BigBoss: Are we done? I have some hot cocoa on the stove.
Isiah Zombie: Wait, who's going to pick him up at the airport?
BigBoss: Go with Monkey.
Isiah Zombie: GAH! Fine. *walks away*
*2 days later, upon Steven's arrival to the states, IZ and Monkey show up at the airport together*
Isiah Zombie: Alright, Terminal 16. He should be out in like 30 minutes.
Monkeysarefunny: Did you bring my DS?
Isiah Zombie: ...You don't have a DS.
Monkeysarefunny: Yes I do! I bought one a week ago.
Isiah Zombie: ...Then why would I have it?
Monkeysarefunny: Just give me my DS and NO ONE GETS HURT!
Isiah Zombie: Shut-up.
Monkeysarefunny: Don't tell me to shut up!
Isiah Zombie: Alright, then how's "be quiet" work for you?
Monkeysarefunny: I would hurt you so bad right now if I didn't know that you would, in turn, floor me.
Isiah Zombie: Whatever.
Monkeysarefunny: ...You know, I overheard BB telling Steven about your "Amanda" incident over the phone.
Isiah Zombie: Great, now everyone knows.
Monkeysarefunny: But do you know why you always fall for my pranks?
Isiah Zombie: Because you're a little demonic hell monkey who likes picking on other people bigger than yourself?
Monkeysarefunny: Well that too, BUT - you always over think my pranks to the point where you confirm fake stuff as illogical.
Isiah Zombie: That's because there's always a logical reason behind everything.
*BigBoss appears in a puff of smoke*
BigBoss: Not everything must be logical.
Isiah Zombie: Whoa! BigBoss! Did you just appear out of thin air?
BigBoss: No you idiot.
*BigBoss vanishes in a puff a logic*
Monkeysarefunny: ..... Well that made sense.
Isiah Zombie: What the.... anyways, it's almost time for Steven to be here. I'll be right back.
Monkeysarefunny: Where are you going?
Isiah Zombie: Like they say, you don't buy drinks - you rent them.
Monkeysarefunny:
Isiah Zombie: I'm going to the restroom... wait, where's the restroom?
Monkeysarefunny: I'll show you. Do you have a map?
Isiah Zombie: No...
Monkeysarefunny: Then let me draw you one.
Isiah Zombie: No thanks.
Monkeysarefunny: I said LET ME DRAW YOU ONE!
Isiah Zombie: Fine...
Monkeysarefunny: *quickly draws map* Okay IZ, you're here - no wait, you're here - wait...... OH SHOOT! This is a map of my house!
Isiah Zombie: GAH! *walks off to restroom*
*10 minutes later*
Isiah Zombie: *walks back to Monkey* Alright, I think Steven should be out right about now.
Monkeysarefunny: Why is he taking so loooong....
Isiah Zombie: *looks ahead* There he is! Steven! Over here!
Steven: *from distance* Hey IZ!
Isiah Zombie: *looks at Monkey* Alright Monkey... behave yourself.
Monkeysarefunny: *walks away*
Steven: *walking closer* I finally get to see you, you old bloke.
Isiah Zombie: So how do we greet? Shake hands? Bear hug?
Steven: I don't know, but we're finally in the Americas! And I brought a friend from good 'ol Finland.
Isiah Zombie: Who?
Steven: Admiral Donutz. He's somewhere in the baggage claim area.
Isiah Zombie: So how was your flight?
Steven: It started off good, but just as the stewardess began to serve coffee the plane encountered turbulence.
Isiah Zombie: That must've been rough. So how did your people react when they heard you were flying over here?
Steven: I told my girlfriend, "Pack your bags cuz we're going to America!"
Isiah Zombie: And what did she say?
Steven: She said, "Should I pack for the oceans or for the mountains?" and I said, "I don't care - just get out."
Isiah Zombie: It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
Steven: Yeah, she said she wants me to be more affectionate.... so now I have two girlfriends.
Isiah Zombie: Heh - Is that your friend over there with all the bags?
Steven: Yeah - hey Donutz! I have a paper for you to sign.
*Donutz walks over to Steven*
Admiral Donutz: Why do I have to carry all the bags?
Steven: Here, sign this paper claiming we got our bags.
Admiral Donutz: *starts singing* Oh-o-Say do you seeee!! By the dawns-
Steven: Don't sing, SIGN!
Admiral Donutz: Oh... *signs*
Steven: So IZ... I heard you got set up with a big girl named Amanda and you two had dinner together, right?
Isiah Zombie: Umm... no?
Steven: BB already told me the truth.
Isiah Zombie: Oh, umm, she did come over for dinner; and there was food on the table, and we did eat it... but if that's what you call having dinner then... whatever...
*Monkey walks back*
Monkeysarefunny: AHA! You said that you didn't have my DS!
Isiah Zombie: That's because I didn't.
Monkeysarefunny: Then what's this? *pulls DS out of a green backpack*
Isiah Zombie: ...Umm... that's not my backpack.
Monkeysarefunny: ENOUGH with the LIES!
Little boy: *from distance* That's the man who stole my backpack!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, so it's not your backpack.... RUUUN!
Security Gaurd: Stop HIM! *Monkey runs off*
Isiah Zombie: That's our cue guys. Steven, Donutz, RUUUN!
*Monkey, IZ, Steven and Donutz are running through the airport while holding onto a ton a bags*
Monkeysarefunny: Quick! To the escalators!
Isiah Zombie: Oh no, I'm not going on the escalator.
Monkeysarefunny: Why not?
Isiah Zombie: I once tripped on an escalator and I fell down for an HOUR and a HALF!
Monkeysarefunny: Whatever. *Monkey runs to the escalator and Donutz follows him*
Isiah Zombie: Steven, there's an elevator over there! *IZ and Steven rush into the elevator*
Calm elevator music plays in the background.
Isiah Zombie: ......So...
Steven: So this is what Americans do... they get in trouble all the time.
Isiah Zombie: Yep...
Steven: This is stupid; almost illogical. I can't believe this is happening to us.
Isiah Zombie: Wait, what did you just say?
Steven: This is stupid?
Isiah Zombie: No - after that.
Steven: I can't believe this is happening to us?
Isiah Zombie: No - before that.
Steven: This is almost illogical?
Isiah Zombie: Yes... illogical indeed. I think this is another prank by the genius prankster: Monkey.
Steven: That security guard looked pretty real to me mate.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah well, we'll just see about that.
*Elevator doors open*
Isiah Zombie: Look, another guard.
Security Guard: You two! STOP RIGHT THERE!
Isiah Zombie: *to Guard* Look, I know you're part of Monkey's prank so just drop the act, okay?
*One hour later, in the local county jail cell*
Isiah Zombie: Okay... so it wasn't a prank. Now we know.
Steven: We should've took the escalators.
Isiah Zombie: Well, the good news is, Donutz got your bags safe and sound to BB's Shanty... and they're probably enjoying the party that we set up for you right now.
Prisoner: *looks at Steven* Ohh... I want me some of that British pie. I'm going to please you wear the sun don't shine..... and I don't mean London.
Isiah Zombie: Heh, welcome to America Steven.
Prisoner: Shut-up! You're next!
Isiah Zombie: Don't tell me to shut up!
Prisoner: Alright, how's "shut the hell up" work for you?
Isiah Zombie: I would hurt you so bad right now if I didn't know that you would, in turn, rape me.
Prisoner:
Isiah Zombie:
Steven:
Meanwhile, at BB's Shanty.
BigBoss: So where's Steven?
Monkeysarefunny: He's with IZ in the county jail.
BigBoss: You mean the fake jail cells that you set up for another prank?
Monkeysarefunny: Y-Yeah.
Admiral Donutz: *looks at BB* Why aren't you wearing any clothes?
BigBoss: I'm in the nude 75% of the time, it makes me appreciate my clothes more.
Monkeysarefunny: ...The jail is fake, but the prisoner is not
BigBoss: Not cool man.
Monkeysarefunny: Let's set up a techno party in HERE!
BigBoss: "Here"? In my house? Hoo boy.... not another prank.
Admiral Donutz: I'm thirsty.
Monkeysarefunny: What do you want? Pocket Pool & Pimp Juice I imagine.
Admiral Donutz: What?
Monkeysarefunny: Is Hennessey's Cognac okay to drink?
BigBoss: ...I don't think so.
Monkeysarefunny: Ah, you're no fun.
BigBoss: Actually, I'm really cool in your opinion.
Monkeysarefunny: Nah, you're just a subgenius to me.
BigBoss: At least I don't wear Storm Trooper armor every time I leave the house!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah... well... at least I don't watch that Gossip Girls teen show EVERY NIGHT!
*BigBoss and Monkey start fist fighting*
Meanwhile...
Isiah Zombie: *to Steven* When are they getting us out of here?