Post by Isiah Zombie on Feb 16, 2008 10:26:40 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Valentine's Surprise
Episode: 19
Original Post Date: February 16, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkey, and Donutz are in BB's Shanty one day before Valentine's Day.
Monkeysarefunny: Those guys did a good job fixing our smashed TV.
Admiral Donutz: You were the one who fixed it.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh.... it was me?
Isiah Zombie: Yes.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, that's right.... I have amnesia.... I don't remember much. So what's for dinner
?Admiral Donutz: We just ate.
Monkeysarefunny: Really?
*BigBoss walks in*
BigBoss: It's Valentine's Day and I'm alone again....
Admiral Donutz: You still have us!
BigBoss: Do you know what Valentine's Day is meant for? It's the day where I'm supposed to get it on with someone.... like Wendy... but Wendy left me...... NO WENDYYY! Why??
Isiah Zombie: I could hook you up with someone.
BigBoss: Oh please, not Amanda again.
Monkeysarefunny: No, not her. She can't make it this time.
BigBoss: Why not?
Monkeysarefunny: Because BIGGIE CAN'T FIT THROUGH DOORWAY!
Admiral Donutz: HAH!
Isiah Zombie: No... I know someone else.... who would be perfect for BigBoss.
BigBoss: Like who?
Isiah Zombie: Her name is.... Ultimopwnage. I met her through a phone sex line.
Admiral Donutz: That's not legal.
Isiah Zombie: Legal shmeigal. I break the law one bowl at a time.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Have you ever had sex before?
Isiah Zombie: No, but one time I hugged a girl.
Monkeysarefunny: Psh... don't you hate when you're just about to have sex with a girl-
BigBoss: -And then you wake up? Haha hah! Ba Dum Ching!
Isiah Zombie: Don't act so badass, BB. What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?
BigBoss: Let's just say it involved my girlfriend, four ropes, eight electric toothbrushes, a feather, a blindfold, and a ball gag but..... no sex.
Isiah Zombie: What about you Donutz? Have you ever-
Admiral Donutz: -I didn't know the llama was underaged!
Isiah Zombie: What??
Admiral Donutz: Huh? Oh, nothing...
BigBoss: Well invite her over. I'm going to go get some GOLDSCHLIK.
Admiral Donutz: Alcohol?
BigBoss: It's a delicious drink.
*BigBoss walks out*
Monkeysarefunny: So.... who's hungry
?Isiah Zombie: We just ATE! If you're really that hungry, then go to the neighbor's house.
Monkeysarefunny: The neighbors are all skinheads, the whole family, even the grandmother.
Admiral Donutz: No they're not. I met the grandmother. She seemed nice.
Monkeysarefunny: She tried to sell me crack, that's all I'm saying.
Isiah Zombie: What do you have against the neighbors?
Monkeysarefunny: They're cannibals I tell YA!
Isiah Zombie: What makes you say that?
Monkeysarefunny: One time I heard them say "LET'S EAT GRANDMA!"
Isiah Zombie: No...... they said, "Let's eat, Grandma."
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah......
Admiral Donutz: I don't think MAF should go to the neighbor's house.... he always starts a food fight whenever he eats.
Monkeysarefunny: Every fight is a food fight..... when you're a cannibal!
Isiah Zombie: Oh shut up. Here, *pulls out apple from pocket* eat this in the meantime.
Monkeysarefunny: ...You had an apple in your pocket...
Isiah Zombie: Just eat it, Monkey!
Monkeysarefunny: Alright! *gulp* Kay, it's down.
Isiah Zombie: Good.
Monkeysarefunny: ........FOR NOW!
*Steven walks in*
Steven: What's going on, mates?
Admiral Donutz: Hey Steven! IZ is going to invite a girl he met on a sex phone line for BigBoss tomorrow.
Steven: Phone sex line?? IZ! What were you doing calling a phone sex line?
Isiah Zombie: It's my fantasy! It's a man's fantasy!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah Steven! It's..... it's a MANTASY!
Steven: So you're going to invite her over, you say?
Admiral Donutz: Yeah Steven, bring over some drinks.
Steven: Okay, I'll go get some GOLDSCHLIK *walks out*
One day later, on Valentine's Day, Isiah Zombie and Donutz are in BB's Shanty.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, I have the whole thing set up. Ultimopwnage will be coming tonight.
Admiral Donutz: Good, I don't think Monkey can screw it up this time.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, I agree. Where is he anyways?
Admiral Donutz: Still sleeping.
*BigBoss walks in*
BigBoss: Great news! I got back with WENDYY! Right on time for Valentine's Day, too!
Admiral Donutz: Yay BB
That's great news!Isiah Zombie: That's umm... that's good. Except there's only one problem: what am I going to do with Ultimopwnage? She's coming over tonight, remember?
BigBoss: Well you have fun with her, I gotta go!
Isiah Zombie: NOOO!
BigBoss: YESS!
*Monkeysarefunny walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: *yawn* ...Wuzzup?
Isiah Zombie: I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ULTIMO!
BigBoss: WELL YOU HAVE TO!
Isiah Zombie: BUT I DON'T WANT TO!
Admiral Donutz: WHY ARE WE YELLING?!
Monkeysarefunny: INDEED! THOUGH I DO ENJOY YELLING AT THE TOP AND BOWELS OF MY LUNGS!
BigBoss: I'VE DECIDED that I don't want to yell anymore.
Isiah Zombie: ...I will hinder your relationship with Wendy!
BigBoss: Hinder this! *gives middle finger*
Isiah Zombie: *Le Gasp!* That was uncalled for!
BigBoss: Well it's Valentine's Day and I've got someone to be with!
Isiah Zombie: You're going to end up marrying her, HAH!
BigBoss: Nah - marriage is proven to be the leading cause of divorce. See ya!
*BigBoss walks out*
Monkeysarefunny: So.... what's for breakfast?
Isiah Zombie: Oh this is not good.... what am I going to do with Ultimo?
Admiral Donutz: Well, you can easily cancel the invitation.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Breakfast, anyone?
Isiah Zombie: I can't cancel - the ticket is non-transferable.
Admiral Donutz: You can pretend to be BigBoss...
Monkeysarefunny: Am I the only one who eats around here
?Isiah Zombie: ...! Hey BigBoss, how are you this morning?
Monkeysarefunny: Are you, umm... talking to me?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, BigBoss, you want some breakfast?
Monkeysarefunny: My name is not BigBoss.
Isiah Zombie: Yes it is.... oh, wow. That amnesia has really taken its toll, huh?
Monkeysarefunny: Wait, are you saying that my real name is BigBoss but I can't remember it because of my amnesia?
Isiah Zombie: You said it. Not me.
Monkeysarefunny: Actually, now that I think of it, I remember that my name IS BigBoss.
Isiah Zombie: Yep. That is the truth right there.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh.... cool! So what's for breakfast?
Isiah Zombie: We need to get you ready for your big night tonight!
Monkeysarefunny: What's going on tonight?
Admiral Donutz: Your girlfriend Ultimo is coming over for dinner
Monkeysarefunny: I have a girlfriend? What the hell? What does she look like?
Admiral Donutz: You'll meet her tonight - so clean up and get dressed!
Monkeysarefunny: Okay, so.... what's for breakfast?
Isiah Zombie: You already ate.
Monkeysarefunny: Really?
Later that night....
Monkeysarefunny: So, my girlfriend is coming over tonight, right?
Isiah Zombie: Yep, and don't worry that you don't remember her.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, we should leave you two alone....
*Isiah Zombie and Donutz walk out*
Ding - Dong....
Monkeysarefunny: *opens door* So, um, hey...
Ultimopwnage: ..........
??Monkeysarefunny: I had a really weird dream..... wanna talk about it?
Ultimopwnage: You know I'm currently single... and I haven't had any for 2 months
Monkeysarefunny: I thought you were my girlfriend?
Ultimopwnage: You see we girls don't FAP all the time...........
Monkeysarefunny: What?
Ultimopwnage: I thought that will cheer ya up
Monkeysarefunny: Umm.... no.
Ultimopwnage: Eh.... you don't care??
Monkeysarefunny: You remind me of a child abuctee.... but in a good way.
Ultimopwnage: ZOMG slay the beast.......
Monkeysarefunny: Heh... I like how you're so random.
Ultimopwnage: I could use a helping hand downstairs
Monkeysarefunny: Umm... that's kinky.
Ultimopwnage: Yeah I learned that in prison - I mean in school.
Monkeysarefunny: So... you wanna eat?
Ultimopwnage: What's your opinion about 20-year-olds having sex with 14-15 years olds...?
Monkeysarefunny: I really couldn't care less. Wanna eat now?
Ultimopwnage: I had sex in a graveyard once, on top of a grave... sorry Owen!
Monkeysarefunny: You know, I'm really hungry, and my friends kept saying that I ate but I can't really remember. I think they were lying to me-
Ultimopwnage: Lets just say my graveyard sex involved a male dog and let's leave it at that.
Monkeysarefunny: I don't care! LET'S EAT NAO!
Ultimopwnage: Okay *takes off wig*
Monkeysarefunny: You're umm.... you're bald!
Ultimopwnage: I'm a skinhead, you like
?Monkeysarefunny: No I don't like! .....Whatever, let's just eat. I'm starving.
Ultimopwnage: *grabs Monkey's arm* You look tasty! *bites arm*
Monkeysarefunny: Augh! What the hell is the matter with you?
Ultimopwnage: I'm a skinhead cannibal!
Monkeysarefunny: Huh? Oh.... I think you're in the wrong house. Check the neighbors.
Ultimopwnage: Wrong house?? Aww.... *walks out*
One day later, at BB's Shanty...
Isiah Zombie: How do you think last night went?
Admiral Donutz: I don't know.
Isiah Zombie: Probably a "one night stand".
Admiral Donutz: Ayup.
*Monkeysarefunny walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: ....Wuzzup?
Isiah Zombie: How was last night
?Monkeysarefunny: I have amnesia.... I don't remember much.
Admiral Donutz: Remember Ultimo, from last night?
Monkeysarefunny: Mmm..... no. I'm hungry though, I feel like I haven't eaten in DAYS.
Isiah Zombie: That's probably true.
Admiral Donutz: Let me get you something from the Fridge... *opens Fridge door* ...There's a lot of GOLDSCHLIK in here.
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah, BigBoss and Steven bought some of that stuff yesterday. Wait a minute.... if Monkey didn't drink any of that, then that means last light was an EPIC failure!
Monkeysarefunny: What the heck are you guys talking about?
Admiral Donutz: EPIC failure for MAF!
Isiah Zombie: Last night you didn't drink any of the GOLDSCHLIK, and thus, you are quite lame.
Monkeysarefunny: Last night? Heh..... good times. Although I don't remember it much.... so what's for breakfast
?Isiah Zombie: You just ate.
Monkeysarefunny:
....
