Post by Isiah Zombie on Dec 22, 2007 13:50:26 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Christmas Complication
Episode: 11
Original Post Date: December 22, 2007
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Monkeysarefunny is in BB's Shanty alone.
Monkeysarefunny: *on phone with Toaster Company* So you say you can deliver it here before Christmas? ...Really?
*w00tdude walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Alrighty, bring it over soon! *hangs up phone*
w00tdude: Who were you talking to?
Monkeysarefunny: I just finished ordering the best present evar for Donutz!
w00tdude: Custom Edition Legos ?
Monkeysarefunny: No....... I'm getting him a Froaster.
w00tdude: ...A Froaster? What is that?
Monkeysarefunny: It's a toaster.... with a fro on it. It'll cost me a fortune, but I feel as if me and Donutz have been...... drifting apart.
w00tdude: So you think this gift will bring you two together?
Monkeysarefunny: Meh..... hey Mutton Butt, BB invited you over for his Christmas party.
w00tdude: BB finally accepted me? YAY!........... So where's Donutz?
Monkeysarefunny: He's in the basement, or as I like to call it, the "sunless dungeon." Don't tell him what I got for him or else I'll Pimp Smack you!
Meanwhile... Isiah Zombie and BigBoss are in the Shanty's Living Room watching TV.
Isiah Zombie: You know, I heard they're going to sell the complete Fish Cop seasons on DVD.
BigBoss: Hellz yeah.
Isiah Zombie: I could get them for you this Christmas.
BigBoss: Hey man I already told you, let's not exchange gifts this year.
Isiah Zombie: Alright, whatever. So... do you wanna come over for the Christmas party next week?
BigBoss: It's going to be in MY house - if anything, I should be inviting you.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, but, I own this house....
*Steven walks in*
Steven: Hey mates.
Isiah Zombie: Hiya! *waves*
Steven: I just bought a G.I. Joe Doll on ebay for $80 off of some bloke!
BigBoss: You paid $80 for a DOLL?
Steven: ....And six outfits....
Isiah Zombie: Oh I remember those G.I. Joe's. They were pretty neat.
BigBoss: The G.I. Joe was just a glorified way for guys to play with dolls. Anyone who likes them are gay.
Isiah Zombie: I don't care! I want one of those and I'm getting one for myself this Christmas!
Steven: There you go, mate!
BigBoss: Hmm.... I want one....
Meanwhile, w00tdude searches for Donutz in the basement...
w00tdude: *walking down the stairs* Donutz? Are you down here?
Admiral Donutz: HAH! You're just in time w00tdude! I just finished wrapping up my gift for MAF - har har.
w00tdude: What are you getting him?
Admiral Donutz: I'm getting MAF..... the inexpensive Door Knob Warmer. This is payback for all the times he's ever gotten me those cheap Whale Shoes!
w00tdude: What's wrong with Whale Shoes?
Admiral Donutz: My feet are more roundish, so Whale Shoes don't fit me.
w00tdude: ...Your feet are roundish?
Admiral Donutz: Yes - they're more like hooves actually.
w00tdude: Well I don't think you should get him a cheap Door Knob Warmer....
Admiral Donutz: Why?? Do you know what MAF is getting me??
w00tdude: N-No... I was just saying-
Admiral Donutz: You better tell me what MAF got me, w00ty, or else I'll tell IZ that you Pimp Smack'D me!
w00tdude: What? I didn't Pimp Smack you!
Admiral Donutz: Well I just finished drinking some eggnog, so I can knock myself into oblivion!
w00tdude: Alright, alright, I'll tell you. Monkey is getting you a Froaster.
Admiral Donutz: A Froaster? Aren't those expensive?
w00tdude: Yes, but he says he feels like you're drifting from him....
Admiral Donutz: Hmmm.... well now I can't give him this Door Knob Warmer..... w00ty, I need you to find out what Monkey wants for Christmas.
w00tdude: But I don't want to.
Admiral Donutz: I'll tell IZ that you beat me!
w00tdude: Teh awwwws....
w00tdude walks back upstairs to find out what Monkey wants for Christmas.
w00tdude: Hey Monkey... w-what do you want for Christmas?
Monkeysarefunny: *trying to make spoon levitate* ...Shh - I'm trying to make this spoon levitate. Aaaand I don't want anything.
w00tdude: It's not for you - I have a friend... who has very similar tastes as you.
Monkeysarefunny: *puts index fingers on temples* ....Well what does your friend like?
w00tdude: W-Whatever you like - he'll like better.
Monkeysarefunny: *squints eyes* Uhhhgh.... stop bothering me, will ya?
w00tdude: But my friend needs a gift...
Monkeysarefunny: Just get him a Led Zep DVD Box Set! That's what I would want..... sheeesh.
w00tdude: Okay thanks bye! *runs out*
Monkeysarefunny: OHMAHGAD.....
*Isiah Zombie walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh... IZ? I think Mutton Butt wants to buy me a Led Zep DVD Box Set...
Isiah Zombie: Well let's SLAP IT HIGH!
Monkeysarefunny: No! I'm spending a fortune on a Froaster that I'm getting for Donutz.... I can't shell out anymore cash to get Mutton Butt a gift. It'll ruin my reputation.
Isiah Zombie: ...What reputation?
Monkeysarefunny: S-Shut up.... I'm trying to start one. How will it look when I give Donutz a expensive gift and I give Mutton Butt some crappy Whale Shoes?
Isiah Zombie: ....Like a penny pinching hoe? Look - maybe w00tdude got overexcited that we invited him to our party, but I'm going to a store with Steven to see if they have anymore G.I Joe Doll's left... so deal with this by yourself *walks out*
Monkeysarefunny: Dammit..... *spoon starts to levitate* Ah.... no concentration required.
Isiah Zombie and Steven go to a store called "Ice Cream Socials".
Isiah Zombie: Uhh.... what are we doing here?
Steven: It's a toy collectors shop.
Isiah Zombie: What's up with the name?
Steven: I know the owner of this shop, mate, he's one crazy hooligan.
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah? What's his name?
Steven: Red Jello Ninja.
Isiah Zombie: Wow, that is crazy.
Steven: There he is! Hey Red Jello you crazy bogger! It's been a long time!
Red Jello Ninja: *looks up from desk* Who there?
Steven: It's me, Steven, remember?
Red Jello Ninja: JEMONE LET FUNK NOT STOP, DONT STOP TILL YOU GET IN ON JEMONE!!
Isiah Zombie: ....You do, work here, right?
Red Jello Ninja: Oh yeah - fashizzle.
Steven: Anyways, I'm here to see if you have any G.I. Joe's left in stock.
Red Jello Ninja: Shizzless I sold the last one to some blue mofo.
Steven: Blue?
Isiah Zombie: Hmm..... BigBoss is blue?
Steven: Was he this guy? *pulls out a picture of BB and shows it to Red Jello*
Isiah Zombie: Umm... you have a picture of BB in your wallet??
Steven: Don't worry mate, you're in here too.
Red Jello Ninja: Fashiggity! He the one!
Isiah Zombie: What? Why would BB buy the last G.I. Joe?
Steven: Maybe he wanted to buy it for you?
Isiah Zombie: BUT! He said that we weren't exchanging gifts this year!
Steven: Maybe he got overexcited that you invited him to our party?
Isiah Zombie: Yes.... he did seem overwhelmed. Hah... BB's such a sneaky dog *IZ and Steven walk out*
*5 minutes later, still at "Ice Cream Socials"*
Monkeysarefunny: Hey you - you sell toys, right?
Red Jello Ninja: Shiggy.
Monkeysarefunny: Well, see those Custom Edition Legos behind you? I'll buy those.
Red Jello Ninja: Some lucky mofo is goin' to be pimpin this Christmas!
Monkeysarefunny: Shut-up... I had to cancel the Froaster order for this...
Back at the Shanty, IZ thinks that BB bought the G.I. Joe Doll for him...
Isiah Zombie: Hey BB... what are you getting me this Christmas ?
BigBoss: I already told you - we're not exchanging gifts this year.
Isiah Zombie: Riiiight.
BigBoss: Seriously, we're not.
Isiah Zombie: .....Riiiight.
BigBoss: Okay, why do you keep saying "Riiiight"?
Isiah Zombie: Because I know you got me something.
BigBoss: But I didn't.
Isiah Zombie: .....Riiiight.
BigBoss: Will you stop that?
Isiah Zombie: Are you serious? You didn't get me anything? Then why did you buy the last G.I Joe?
BigBoss: What?? What are you talking about?
Isiah Zombie: *starts searching house* I know you got one... where is it?
BigBoss: This is very insulting, you're not going to find it...
Isiah Zombie: *looks under couch* AHA! What is this?
BigBoss: Alright, alright.... I bought it.
Isiah Zombie: But why? You said only gay people play with them
BigBoss: Truth is.... I never got one as a kid. My parents kept getting me J.I. Jane... the cheap knockoff. But, if you have to have it, then here.... take it.
Isiah Zombie: GAH! You're going to regret buying it before me! *walks out*
Several days later.... on Christmas Day, everybody is in the Shanty.
Steven: You know IZ, if you're going to hire me as the bartender, the least you could do is give me the proper supplies, mate.
Isiah Zombie: I... didn't hire you as the bartender. Alright Monkey, stop boring everybody with your lame spoon levitating tricks. Let's exchange some gifts!
BigBoss: Psh...
Admiral Donutz: Alright MAF! open my present first!
Monkeysarefunny: ... *opens gift* ...! This is.... this is the Led Zep DVD Box Set!! I thought Mutton butt was going to give this to me?
Admiral Donutz: Nope, this present was all my idea! Umm... you look dissapointed... do you have this one already?
Monkeysarefunny: No I... I gave you this...
Admiral Donutz: *opens gift* ...What?? Whale Shoes again? I thought I was getting a Froaster?
Monkeysarefunny: How do you even know about that? I cancelled the order to buy.... these *hands gift to w00tdude*
w00tdude: *opens gift* .....YAY! Custom Edition Legos! Thanks Monkey!
Admiral Donutz: Oh I don't believe this! I paid a lot of money for those Led Zep DVD's!
w00tdude: Don't worry Donutz - we can play together and build armies... and ships...
Admiral Donutz: I'm leaving.... and getting a chainsaw!
Monkeysarefunny: W-What are you going to do with a chainsaw?
Admiral Donutz: What am I NOT going to do with a chainsaw? *walks out*
Isiah Zombie: Anyways.... BB, I'm going to be the better man here and give you this *gives gift to BB*
BigBoss: *opens gift* ....The complete Fish Cops DVD's? Well.... thanks man. I actually bought an extra G.I. Joe Doll. You can have it.
Isiah Zombie: Whoohoo! This is- HEY! This is G.I Jane!
BigBoss: Yeah, I though you'd like it. Press the button on her chest.
Isiah Zombie: What does it do?
BigBoss: Press to test - release to detonate.
Isiah Zombie: Damn you BB! Give me back the Fish Cops DVD's!
BigBoss: Hahahah.... why don't you ask G.I. Jane to help you? BOO-YAH!
Monkeysarefunny: Guys.... what about my problem? Donutz is coming after me with a chainsaw!
BigBoss: So? You like chainsaws!
w00tdude: Does anyone want to play Legos with me ?
Isiah Zombie: I.... I..... meh.... you might as well build a fort for G.I Jane....