Post by Isiah Zombie on Dec 8, 2007 9:27:29 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Lotto Greed
Episode: 9
Original Post Date: December 8, 2007
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IZ, Monkey, and Donutz are watching TV at BB's Shanty.
Isiah Zombie: You know, I just became aware of something. Ever since BB left this Shanty because of his girlfriend cheating on him, this place has been falling apart - the toilet is leaking, the roof needs to be patched up, and the door frame needs to be fastened.
Admiral Donutz: Doesn't that cost money?
Monkeysarefunny: But we're dirt poor....
Isiah Zombie: ....Maybe we could get those jobs at the Sketcher store we applied for.
Admiral Donutz: Or we could save up on food.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah IZ, every time we go to eat at "Chuck's Place" you always order extra olives.
Isiah Zombie: So? Every time we eat at "Chucks" you always order your burger with no onions.
Monkeysarefunny: Those are extra onions that Chuck gets to keep - don't you know math?
Isiah Zombie: Last time I checked, olives don't cost anything.
Monkeysarefunny: Well you've obviously never checked before.
Isiah Zombie: Either way, we need the money to repair this place or else we'll have to move out.
Monkeysarefunny:
*One day later*
Donutz is alone in the Shanty.
*Monkeysarefunny walks in*
Monkeysarefunny: Hey Donutz. I played the lottery yesterday.
Admiral Donutz: Why?
Monkeysarefunny: ....Because I want to be rich?
Admiral Donutz: Oh... are they going to announce the winning numbers?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes, right now - quiet boy!
TV Announcer: Welcome back to the Big 5 Jackpot! The jackpot has went up to a mere $5,000, but with losers like you buying these tickets, the jackpot will surely rise! Now, this weeks winning numbers are: ......8 ......12 ......23 ......31 ......38 ...... and the Mega number is 18!
Monkeysarefunny: ....None of the numbers match
Admiral Donutz: That's because you were holding the ticket upside down. The numbers, they..... they all match!
Monkeysarefunny: Woowoowooooo!!
Admiral Donutz: Yeah! $5,000 dollars! That's 3,417 Euros for me then!
Monkeysarefunny: ......Yeah, that's a lot of money to dispose of.
Admiral Donutz: What do you want to dispose it on?
Monkeysarefunny: We need to thinkify and brainificate.
Admiral Donutz: I want to buy all the games I've ever wanted! And a whale!
Monkeysarefunny: I'm getting a whale too! Cross that - I want a zebra - and a lion, to hunt it down and eat it!
Admiral Donutz: Yah!
Monkeysarefunny: With this kind of money I don't have to help the homeless anymore!
Admiral Donutz: ....You help the homeless?
Monkeysarefunny: Well not anymore. It was only once every other Tuesday, but still....... longest month of my life.
Admiral Donutz: Yah! Let's tell IZ!
Monkeysarefunny: Yea- ......... OHMAHGAD.
Admiral Donutz: What is it?
Monkeysarefunny: I just remembered something. Yesterday IZ was telling us that he wanted to repair this Shanty....... and that it cost a lot of money.
Admiral Donutz: Well... we could just tell him that we want to use the money on other things.
Monkeysarefunny: No - he won't let us. He'll just take our money and use it to fix this crappy house
Admiral Donutz: Why would he take the money if you're the one who won it?
Monkeysarefunny: He's annoying like that.
Admiral Donutz: Can't we just hide the money from him?
Monkeysarefunny: We can't, IZ's here everyday. I'm telling you - the man's OBSESSED with me!
Admiral Donutz: *sigh*....We just won $5,000....... there has to be an up-side to this!
*Isiah Zombie walks in*
Isiah Zombie: Hey guys.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey....
Admiral Donutz: Hello
Isiah Zombie: What's the matter.... were you guys plotting a scheme against me?
Monkeysarefunny:
Hahahah? Good one IZ. Isiah Zombie: ....Seriously, what's the matter?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh nothing. We're just sitting here in the good old fashion Shanty. It's an antique...... investing in it would be such a tragedy.
Admiral Donutz: Yes, a tragedy.
Isiah Zombie: Did you guys break something in here? Was it my Waffle Maker
Monkeysarefunny: No, of course not! Oh crap, I did break that...
Isiah Zombie: Well something is up. What is it??
Monkeysarefunny: ....Well I can't TELL you if you don't let me get in a WORD egdewise!!
Isiah Zombie: *waits* ......
Monkeysarefunny: ......
Admiral Donutz: ......
Monkeysarefunny: I..... uhh.... I'm the one who stole your car.
Isiah Zombie: What?? I thought Leo Vampire stole my car!
Monkeysarefunny: No, no he did not. You know what? I'll let you drive my Pimp-Mobile instead.
Isiah Zombie: .........I need to use a practical car, Monkey!
Monkeysarefunny: ....It has extra leg room.
Isiah Zombie: What the hell do I need extra leg room for? I only have TWO legs!
Monkeysarefunny: ......
Isiah Zombie: You know what guys? I'm outta here!
*Isiah Zombie walks out*
Monkeysarefunny: Phew, that was a close one.
Admiral Donutz: You stole IZ's car??
Monkeysarefunny: No!! I just said that so I wouldn't have to confess my $5,000 to him.
Admiral Donutz: Umm... I think you made things worse for yourself.
Monkeysarefunny: *flashes ticket* Oh really? I still have $5,000 on me *does small town tango*
Admiral Donutz: Half of it is mine.
Monkeysarefunny: *stops dance* What?? This is MY ticket! I paid for it!
Admiral Donutz: Yes, but you wouldn't have known that you won if I wasn't there to tell you that you were holding the ticket upside down.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah? Well.... try and stop me!
Admiral Donutz: From what?
Monkeysarefunny: From spending it all before you can get a go at it!
Admiral Donutz: Are you really going to let this money get between our trust and frendship?
Monkeysarefunny: Of course.
Admiral Donutz: .......
*One day later*
Donutz is alone in the Shanty.
*Monkeysarefunny walks in with a bunch of bags*
Admiral Donutz: ...I see you've been shopping
Monkeysarefunny: Hey, I felt bad about yesterday so I decided to buy you a whale.
Admiral Donutz: You bought me a whale
?Monkeysarefunny: Yeah.
Admiral Donutz: .....Well where it is?
Monkeysarefunny: It's in the ocean - go look for it.
Admiral Donutz: .........
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, and it costs $50 bucks to go and see it, so don't go there empty-handed.
Admiral Donutz: Is this another one of your pranks?
Monkeysarefunny: Hmmmm.... I wouldn't say it's not a prank.
Admiral Donutz: So it is?
Monkeysarefunny: I'm not saying that.
Admiral Donutz: So it's not?
Monkeysarefunny: Hey, man, all I said was that I wasn't saying that it wasn't a prank.
Admiral Donutz: ...Why do you have to talk like that?
Monkeysarefunny: I'm in advanced classes.
Admiral Donutz: Advanced classes? Or classes that teach you how to advance?
Monkeysarefunny: ......Shut up, Dexter.
*Isiah Zombie walks in*
Isiah Zombie: *Yawn* Man I'm tired.... without a car I have to do all that damn walking. I'm going to the bathroom-
Monkeysarefunny: Don't use too much paper.
Isiah Zombie: -What?
Monkeysarefunny: Toilet paper, don't use too much. Remember, because we're on a budget?
Isiah Zombie: Oh.... so I can't use too much paper?
Monkeysarefunny: Exactly, you're only allowed to use two squares of toilet paper when going to the restroom. Make the best of them.
Isiah Zombie: Umm... I'm just gonna shower...
*IZ walks to the bathroom*
Monkeysarefunny: IZ's gone! Quick! Let's hide the money in a safe!
Admiral Donutz: You have a safe?
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah! *grabs safe* What should the combination be?
Admiral Donutz: .....123?
Monkeysarefunny: That's too easy! Even an idiot can guess that!
Admiral Donutz: Well then make the safe idiot proof.
Monkeysarefunny: If you make the safe idiot proof then someone will just make a better idiot!
Admiral Donutz: Then YOU guess the combination code, it's your money anyways....
Monkeysarefunny: I BOUGHT you a WHALE!
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, but I bet you could only see the tail of it in the ocean.
Monkeysarefunny: I got a steal of a deal on a tail of a whale! Isn't that enough for you?
Admiral Donutz: ....No.
Monkeysarefunny: You are SO HARD TO PLEASE!
*IZ walks back in*
Isiah Zombie: I forgot my towel. *looks at safe* Err- who's safe is that?
Monkeysarefunny: Umm... its Donutz's safe... he keeps little babies in it...
Admiral Donutz: Enough with the House of Lies!! Monkey won $5,000 and he was going to hide it in the safe so that you wouldn't see it!!
Isiah Zombie: Isn't that like 3,417 Euros?
Admiral Donutz: Y-Yes?
Isiah Zombie: Coooool! So what do you guys want to use it on?
Admiral Donutz: What?? Aren't you supposed to be mad?
Isiah Zombie: About what? That's some craaaazy money! I'd get a whale if I were you.
Admiral Donutz: .................
Monkeysarefunny: .................
Isiah Zombie: .................
Monkeysarefunny: I got a steal of a deal on a tail of a whale.
Isiah Zombie: Hellz yeah!
Admiral Donutz: Wait, didn't you want to repair this Shanty??
Isiah Zombie: Of course.
Admiral Donutz: Well now you got the money! So FIX AWAY!
Isiah Zombie: I called BB about it. He hired some guys who will come here tomorrow and fix it.
Monkeysarefunny: .......
Admiral Donutz: Oh....
Monkeysarefunny: So, you guys wanna see the whale?
Isiah Zombie:
*30 Minutes later, on the Docks*
Admiral Donutz: Where's the whale? I only see the tail.
Monkeysarefunny: That's the only part I paid for.
Isiah Zombie: ....Well I guess we should leave then.
Monkeysarefunny: It costs $50 bucks to enter, and $50 to leave.
Admiral Donutz: What? I only brought in enough money to enter.
Monkeysarefunny: Well then.. I guess you'll be spending the night here with the Cockmonglers Pirate Crew!
Admiral Donutz: Fffffffffffff****.
Monkeysarefunny: I'm not sure what "monglers" mean, but if it's what I think it is, then........... I'll pick you up at 8:00 am.
Isiah Zombie: Hah!
