Post by Isiah Zombie on Mar 22, 2008 9:11:09 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Sumo Santa's
Episode: 24
Original Post Date: March 22, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and Admiral Donutz are in BB's Shanty.....
Isiah Zombie: I'm glad BigBoss got us out of that jail cell last week.
Admiral Donutz: I know.... I was seconds away from having my first backdoor plumbing tape.
Monkeysarefunny: GO TO JAIL. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200.
Isiah Zombie: Well, that's all over...
: EUUURRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! *phone shakes*
Isiah Zombie: What the HELL WAS THAT??
Monkeysarefunny: ...Yo mama.
Admiral Donutz: No, it's my phone. I thought it would be funny if I had a zombie ringtone.
Isiah Zombie: Ah.
Admiral Donutz: *answers phone* Hello? ...... Oh it's BB...... hmm? ... okay....... yeah ...... got it..... OKAY .... bye... *hangs up*
Monkeysarefunny: What did that hoochie want?
Admiral Donutz: He said he's competing in a Sumo Wrestling tournament today and he wants us to join it too.
Monkeysarefunny: ....What the heck...? WHAT ELSE did he say?
Admiral Donutz: He also said "Muahahahaha."
Monkeysarefunny: No, I mean before that.
Admiral Donutz: That's the first thing he said when I answered the phone.
Isiah Zombie: ...A Sumo Wrestling tournament? That's sounds awesome!
Monkeysarefunny: Well from what I've seen - and I've seen very little - you have to be big and fat to even be considered a Sumo Wrestler, am I right?
Isiah Zombie: I think we wear one of those fat suits that make you big .... and you try to knock the other people out of the ring while wearing it.
Admiral Donutz: So, should we join it?
Monkeysarefunny: Nope, there's a lot of old guys in the shower room that creep me out.
Isiah Zombie: So? You told me you check out the old guys anyways.
Monkeysarefunny: ..............I will never open up to you again, IZ......
Admiral Donutz: C'mon MAF! Join the tournament!
Monkeysarefunny: Fine.... I'll just add this to my list of "awful ideas that IZ has come up with" list.
Isiah Zombie: But I didn't come up with it.
Monkeysarefunny: JUST SHUT UP! *turns 360 degrees and walks away*
2 Hours Later... at the Sumo Wrestling Tournament...
BigBoss: Hey guys! You made it!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, but the only reason I'm here is because IZ promised me some ice cream later..... and speaking of IZ, where the hell is that hoochie?
Admiral Donutz: He's signing us up for the tournament, and choosing our team name.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey wait.... why him?? How come he gets to choose our team name?
Admiral Donutz: Because he's the admin.
Monkeysarefunny: That doesn't make him God.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, but still...
*IZ shows up*
Isiah Zombie: Alright I signed us up..... and guess what our team name is !
BigBoss: *cough* ...The Trio of Losers? OH SNAP BALLIN'! SLAP IT HIGH!
Isiah Zombie: Nope..... I called us the "Sumo Santa's," you like?
Admiral Donutz: Why did you pick that weird name?
Isiah Zombie: Because we DELIVER THE PAIN!
Monkeysarefunny: ...Geez IZ.... wouldn't it make more sense to call us the Mailmen Sumos? Or the FedEx Body Slammers?
Isiah Zombie: Since when did you care about making sense?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah........
*Steven and Caboose walk in*
Caboose: YARG!
Steven: Hello there, mates.
Monkeysarefunny: What the heck are you two hoochies doing here?
Steven: It's a three on three team tournament. We teamed up with BigBoss.
Isiah Zombie: Oh, I guess we could end up fighting each other, right?
Steven: Yes, mate, but we've won the championship before. So watch out.
Monkeysarefunny: You guys are a championship team?? Hot Dang!
Steven: Oh.... wait.... did I just say we were a championship team? Well.... umm .... we often make incredible comebacks that fall just....... short *puts on Sumo Costume*
Caboose: *looks at Sumo Costume* Ar! Me private shame!
A few minutes before the competition starts....
Isiah Zombie: Go, Donutz, you're up first.
Admiral Donutz: *wearing Sumo Costume* .....Does this suit make my butt look fat?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, it's enormous. But before we compete, I have one piece of advise for us: .........we're all gonna die........ now lets go out there and have some fun!
Announcer: ....Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Our first matchup will have the very great and ferocious Admiral Donutz against..... the very strong and scary Caboose!
Monkeysarefunny: Come on, Donutz, kick his ass.
Admiral Donutz and Caboose step into the ring.
Caboose: YARG! Avast ye bilge rat! Join in the chantey and grab a draught!
Admiral Donutz: Caboose, you bring my piss to a boil.
Caboose: Haul in the gangplank me hearties! Measure the landlubber for his chains!
Announcer: Get ready in.... Three! ........ Two! ........ One! ....... GO!
Admiral Donutz: *lunges forward* You're going down CABOOSE!
Caboose: *lunges forward* Man-the rigging and prepare to overhaul! Sail ho me squiffy men!
Admiral Donutz: *knocks Caboose back, but not out* Almost knocked out!
Caboose: Hornswaggle! *lunges forward again*
Admiral Donutz: I see you coming... man this almost too easy... *steps aside out of the way*
Caboose: YARG! *flies straight out bounds, and crashes into a barrel of bananas* .....Thar be no takin a calk whilst ye raise...
Announcer: And our first winner is Admiral Donutz!
Isiah Zombie: Wow, Donutz, that was impressive. Why didn't you just knock him out the first time?
Admiral Donutz: Meh.... I was feeling gracious today and decided not to swing the lockhammer.
Five minutes later...
Announcer: Next up we have..... the very dominant and powerful Isiah Zombie, versus..... the very intimidating and striking Steven!
Isiah Zombie: Hoo-boy.
Admiral Donutz: Remember IZ - you gotta have dudeitude.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, and isn't true that if you dont use it, you lose it?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, that applies to a lot of things, apparently...
Isiah Zombie and Steven step into the ring.
Isiah Zombie: Hey Steven...
Steven: When are you going to return me those British soundtracks I let you borrow?
Isiah Zombie: What? Didn't you say I could have them until Tuesday?
Steven: Sorry mate, I need them back by Monday.
Isiah Zombie: Noooooooooo!
Announcer: Get ready in.... Three! ........ Two! ........ One! ....... GO!
Isiah Zombie: *lunges forward* Damn j00 Mondaaaay !
Steven: *lunges forward* At least it's better than FRATERDAY!
Isiah Zombie: *collides with Steven* Holy hell you're strong!
Monkeysarefunny: (shouts) Aim for the cockpit! It's his weak point!
Steven: *pins IZ to the floor* HAHAH! How do you like me now, mate? Huh? HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?
Admiral Donutz: C'mon IZ! Fight him back! He is wearing you like a sombrero!
Isiah Zombie: Did I ask you, Donutz? Sheesh... *bites Steven* ......BOO-YAH!
Steven: Ge-ah-hug! My ear! Why did you bite my ear??
Isiah Zombie: *knocks Steven back close to the edge* Say good-bye, Steven!
Steven: *teetering at the edge of out-of-bounds* ....Never! I will not let you win! *regains balance* I WILL NOW ELIMINATE YOU! *power shoves IZ out of bounds*
Isiah Zombie: Nooooooo! *crashes into a barrel of strawberries* ....That was.... berry good....
Announcer: And our second winner is Steven!
Monkeysarefunny: Damn IZ.... Steven gave you a prison pounding today...
Five minutes later...
Announcer: Next up we have..... the very frantic and fearsome Monkeysarefunny, facing off with..... the very powerful and undefeated BigBoss!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh yeah, I've been waiting for this day.... heh.
Isiah Zombie: Monkey, why is your name on your Sumo costume? DID YOU BUY YOUR COSTUME??
Monkeysarefunny: No, I didn't buy it, it's a rental.
Isiah Zombie: Ah.
Monkeysarefunny and BigBoss step into the ring.
BigBoss: Are you ready Monkey?
Monkeysarefunny: I'm ready like Freddy......... and I don't even know who Freddy is, but he is fricken ready.
BigBoss: Ummm... Monkey, there's something nearby your foot.
Monkeysarefunny: Awmahgad! There's a snake in my boot!!! You little hoochie! *runs off the ring*
Announcer: .....Umm... well.... if there isn't a participant for the Sumo Santa's in five minutes, they will be DISQUALIFIED!
BigBoss: Heh....... BALLIN'.
Isiah Zombie: NOOO! What are we going to do?
*dark mysterios fat figure appears from the bathroom*
Admiral Donutz: Who..... who is that?
Isiah Zombie: I think it's........ it's...... ohmigod...... it's AMANDA!
Amanda: I'm HEEEEEERE!
Monkeysarefunny: *runs back* Phew..... good thing I got that snake out of my boot. Hey..... why is Amanda taking my spot
Admiral Donutz: Just leave her in! She can win the tournament for us !
Monkeysarefunny: Well.... if she's going to replace me, the least she can do is win.
Isiah Zombie: You're not going to get mad, are you Monkey?
Monkeysarefunny: ...As it turns out, I have a very high melting point.
Admiral Donutz: You need to cool down, man.
Monkeysarefunny: Screw this, I don't need to impress you guys. I'll let her take my place instead.
Amanda steps into the ring.
BigBoss: Whoa..... hot chicks that can kick my ass shouldn't look like one of the founding fathers.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, well, I met her in rehab, so SUCK IT.
Announcer: Get ready in.... Three! ........ Two! ........ One! ....... GO!
BigBoss: *charges forward* HUZZAH!
Amanda: ....... *stands and poses*
BigBoss: *bounces right off Amanda* ....SHIVER ME TIMBERS!
*fans start throwing steak on the ring floor*
Amanda: Mmmm grizzly steaks...
Monkeysarefunny: Stop throwing meat at her!
BigBoss: AHA! This is my chance! *super-duper charges Amanda out of the ring*
Amanda: *boing* STEAAAK! *flies straight out of bounds into a barrel of steak* ...Mmmmmm...... steaks...
BigBoss: BALLIN'!
Announcer: And the winners of the tournament are Caboose, Steven, and BigBoss! Congratulations!
Isiah Zombie: Nooo! Cheaters!
Steven: Woo-hoo-mates! We won!
Caboose: YARGITTY YARG YARG!
Announcer: The trophy will now be presented to the winners! ..... But....... where is the trophy?
*crowd whispers and murmers*
Admiral Donutz: Does anybody know where the trophy is?
Monkeysarefunny: Wait.... what kind of trophy was it?
Admiral Donutz: It was the championship trophy.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh I think I know what happened..... Amanda must've thought it was a champion-CHIP trophy.... and decided to eat it.
*crowd quiets, then after a pause, smiles and laughs*
Isiah Zombie: Oh! It was just a misunderstanding
Admiral Donutz: Oh I get it now ;D
BigBoss: Hey what the hell? WE WON THE TOURNAMENT! WE DESERVE THAT TROPHY!
Monkeysarefunny: Ahhhhh SHAT-AP you hoochie.
Corny music plays......... "wah wah waaaaahh."