Post by Isiah Zombie on Jun 14, 2008 10:14:45 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Odd Dreams
Episode: 36
Original Post Date: June 14, 2008
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In the middle of a large jungle, Isiah Zombie and Monkeysarefunny are running away from a giant lizard known as Turbolizard...
Isiah Zombie: Oh my gawd! We're gonna get eaten alive! Quick! Run for the hills!!
Monkeysarefunny: I'm ****ing trying to!
Isiah Zombie: He's gaining on us, man! HE'S GAINING ON US!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh crap! This is it! This is the end for us! Let's just stop running and hug each other until we die!
Isiah Zombie: Umm............ that's like.... ew.
Monkeysarefunny: Great, now I feel like a rejected prom date all over again...
Isiah Zombie: AHHH! He's within 50 feet of us!
Monkeysarefunny: Why don't you just shut the hell up man?
Isiah Zombie: I have a slightly better idea - why don't YOU shut up?
Turbolizard: *approaches* RAWWR!
Isiah Zombie: .....NOOOOOO!
Turbolizard opens mouth to devour IZ and Monkey...
*Isiah Zombie wakes up*
Isiah Zombie: (to self) Ahhh! ...Oh... it was just a dream. That was weird...
Admiral Donutz: Yeah I know.
Isiah Zombie: Whoa Donutz! What the hell are you doing in my bed?
Admiral Donutz: I sleep here, remember?
Isiah Zombie: Uhhh.... no, this is my bed.
Admiral Donutz: No... this is our bed.
Isiah Zombie: .....NOOOOOO!
*Isiah Zombie wakes up*
Isiah Zombie: (to self) ...Whoa.... what another weird dream...
Monkeysarefunny: Not as bad as the Turbolizard one was.
Isiah Zombie: ...Wait, what are you doing here? Is this another dream?
Monkeysarefunny: Not at all.
Isiah Zombie: Then why are you in my bed?
Monkeysarefunny: Because this is actually my bed. You've had enough sleep here, so OFFY.
Isiah Zombie: *gets off bed* ...I've been having some really odd dreams lately. You wouldn't think it would have anything to do with that expired cheese I ate, would you?
Monkeysarefunny: Probably. You mentioned the one where you and me are being chased through the jungle by Turbolizard, and the one where you and Donutz are sleeping together, and the one where I slice your head off with a chainsaw.
Isiah Zombie: What? I haven't experienced that last one.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, well then, let me introduce you to my little friend of mine..... *pulls out chainsaw from underneath bed* ....VROOM! VROOM! VROOM! Eat this, suckah!
Isiah Zombie: .....NOOOOOO!
*Isiah Zombie wakes up in the middle of a jungle*
Isiah Zombie: Umm... okay these dreams are getting a little out of hand.
Monkeysarefunny: *appears in a puff of smoke* Tell me about it, I get dragged into this damn forest everytime you sleep.
Isiah Zombie: You're the not the real Monkey, are you?
Monkeysarefunny: Maybe.
Isiah Zombie: Maybe you don't exist and you're actually just a figment of my imagination.
Monkeysarefunny: Or.... I could be just a figment of your imagination.
Isiah Zombie: That's what I just said. Okay, we need to be careful, this is the same forest where Turbolizard appears.
Monkeysarefunny: And if you get eaten alive this time.... you die in real life.
Isiah Zombie: You're right, because I can feel pain in my dreams, and that can't be right.
Monkeysarefunny: Stop faking it!
Isiah Zombie: I'm not faking it.
Monkeysarefunny: I hate it when guys fake pain. They're hurting one moment, then they're fine the next. Like when a guy gets kicked in the nuts, and he's in unbearable pain, then all of a sudden, he's okay. It's like "where's the blood, dude?" ...what a pansy.
Isiah Zombie: Ummm... yeah.
*Donutz falls from sky*
Admiral Donutz: AHHH! *smashes into ground* Owww.... that hurt.
Monkeysarefunny: Did that really hurt? Or are you just faking it?
Admiral Donutz: That hurt for real MAF
!Monkeysarefunny: Are you lying to me now?
Admiral Donutz: No... maybe... yes...
Monkeysarefunny: YOU'RE A LIAR! SOMEONE BRAND HIM WITH THE LETTER L!
Isiah Zombie: ...Or the letter Q.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, for queer. KA-POW!
Admiral Donutz: You're just jealous because I can fall from the sky better than you.
Monkeysarefunny: The only thing you're better at is at being a queer! DOUBLE KA-POW!
Isiah Zombie: Guys! Shut up! I can hear something in the distance!
Turbolizard: (from the distance) RAWWR!
Isiah Zombie: Everybody run!
The trio begins to run through the jungle...
Admiral Donutz: Hey look over there! There's a door in the middle of the forest that leads to a waterfall!
Monkeysarefunny: How'd you know? Oh. It says it on the door. Okay.
Isiah Zombie: Let's go through, this could be our only route to escape.
Monkeysarefunny: No! Don't listen to that crazed mountain man! IZ, you don't know how to swim!
Isiah Zombie: This is just a dream, I can do whatever I want.
Monkeysarefunny: Dreaming is nice. Hallucinating is not. Have you been doing drugs?
Isiah Zombie: That is the craziest freaking thing I have ever heard!
Admiral Donutz: GUZZLES!
Isiah Zombie: ...That is the second craziest freaking thing I have ever heard...
Monkeysarefunny: So, what do we do now?
Isiah Zombie: Like I said, this is my dream so I can do whatever I want. However, I can't make that Turbolizard dissapear because I'm afraid of it. I can't control my fears, man!
Turbolizard: *approaching* RAWWR!
Monkeysarefunny: Well don't just stand there like a pregnant gorilla! Do something!
Isiah Zombie: Alright! Let me think here.... okay I got it! Spear + Broom = Broomspear! Yeah!
*10 Broomspears appear*
Admiral Donutz: ....So.... do we use these to fly away?
Isiah Zombie: Idiot! You're supposed to throw these at Turbolizard!
Admiral Donutz: Oh, wow. That's loco.
Isiah Zombie: Indeed. Loco roco.
Monkeysarefunny: I ain't throwing no broomspears.
Isiah Zombie: Why not?
Monkeysarefunny: BE-****ING-CAUSE!
Isiah Zombie: Psh... don't you realize that if Turbolizard eats me, then I'll die in real life? How can you not understand that, Monkey? I mean, I thought you've evolved already?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh! Ha ha! I get it! You're calling me stupid! Despite there being, well.... nothing.... to back that up. Yeah.
Isiah Zombie: Well then help us out you furry baboon!
Monkeysarefunny: Quit drinking Hater-ade juice, IZ. I'll get to it.
The trio throws the Broomspears at Turbolizard...
Admiral Donutz: Dammit! It's not working!
Monkeysarefunny: You're not working!
Isiah Zombie: Quick! To the door that leads to the waterfall!
The trio runs through the door and are at the waterfall...
Monkeysarefunny: So... are we supposed to jump off?
Isiah Zombie: Do you know what the worst part about jumping is?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't know... falling?
Isiah Zombie: No.... landing in a raging river with sharp rocks that can KILL me in my dream!
Admiral Donutz: But we have to jump, or else Turbolizard will get us.
Isiah Zombie: Well, this looks like the end for me. At least I'm going to Heaven... *sniff*
Monkeysarefunny: Who says you're going to heaven?
Isiah Zombie: My hispanic friend Jesus.
Monkeysarefunny: Well couldn't you just... make a boat appear?
Admiral Donutz: Haha, that sounds funny.
Monkeysarefunny: You sound funny.
Isiah Zombie: Wait, he's right! This is my dream, I can do anything I want! *wooden canoe appears* ...Aha! How do you like me now?
Monkeysarefunny: This is the best you can do? A wooden canoe? Couldn't you make the Titanic appear or something?
Isiah Zombie: Haven't you heard? Wooden canoes, they are-
Turbolizard: *breaks through door* RAWWR!
Admiral Donutz: They are...?
Isiah Zombie: NEVERMIND!
Admiral Donutz: They are nevermind? Okay.
The trio jumps into the wooden canoe and push themselves down the waterfall...
Isiah Zombie: (while falling) Ahhh! I just remembered something!
Admiral Donutz: What is it? Did you leave the door unlocked in our apartment?
Isiah Zombie: No! I can't swim!
Monkeysarefunny: Do something about it!
Isiah Zombie: I can't do anything involving my fears! We're all gonna die!
Monkeysarefunny: This is your dream man! Do something!
Isiah Zombie: Uhhhh.....
The trio are seconds away from crashing into the river at the bottom... when suddenly... they are wearing BEARACHUTES...
*Poosh!*
Monkeysarefunny: Whoa... what happened?
Isiah Zombie: We have bearachutes! They're like parachutes, but they're made out of bears!
Admiral Donutz: Yes! We're saved! *starts to sing* ...There's a bear in the air, do you dare scare their flare? I declare your affair, to be aware of the bear! Prepare for despair, do you dare share their stare? You better prepare for the unfair, cuz it's a freakin' bear I swear!
The trio lands onto solid ground...
Isiah Zombie: Oh sweet! We escaped Turbolizard! If I were to die, that would've been a tradegy.
Monkeysarefunny: Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into a raging river and die.
Admiral Donutz: Wait a minute, I just realized something. You can't control your fears, right IZ?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, that's why I couldn't make Turbolizard disappear and also why I couldn't land in the water.
Admiral Donutz: Then how did we get the bearachutes? Aren't you afraid of heights?
Isiah Zombie: No I'm not..... but I am afraid of widths.
Monkeysarefunny: Well this is lame, I expected more action. Wanna go jump off another cliff?
Isiah Zombie: Don't bother me now. I'm living happily ever after.
Monkeysarefunny: **** you!
Isiah Zombie: Take that back, or I'll delete you from my dream!
Monkeysarefunny: Okay, okay, I take that back! Un-**** you!
*Three Turbolizards fall from the sky*
Turbolizards: *smashes into ground* RAWWR!
Isiah Zombie: .....NOOOOOO!
*Isiah Zombie wakes up*
Isiah Zombie: (in bed) Whoa.... finally, my nightmare is over.
Admiral Donutz: Tell me about it, you've been screaming all night.
Isiah Zombie: Wait, is this another dream...?
Admiral Donutz: I don't know, ask Monkey.
Monkeysarefunny: *walks in* ....VROOM! VROOM! VROOM! Eat this, suckah!
Isiah Zombie: .....NOOOOOO!
*Isiah Zombie wakes up in the middle of the kitchen*
Isiah Zombie: .....Oh damn! Another dream!
Admiral Donutz: How was your night, did you sleep well?
Isiah Zombie: ...Yeah, it was alright...
Admiral Donutz: That's always good to hear.
Monkeysarefunny: *walks in* ...Hey, check out these new broomspears I bought at a yard sale.
Admiral Donutz: Broomspears? What are those for?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't know, but they came with a free bearachute
!Isiah Zombie: Uhh... Monkey...? Where did you say you got those again?
Monkeysarefunny: At a yard sale. The guy who sold it to me called himself "Turbolizard".
Isiah Zombie: .....NOOOOOO! *runs out*
Monkeysarefunny: .....What's the deal?
Admiral Donutz: I don't know. He probably had some bad dreams.
Monkeysarefunny: Hmm... you wouldn't think it would have anything to do with that expired cheese he ate, would you?
Admiral Donutz: Durr. No.
