Post by Isiah Zombie on Jun 28, 2008 8:55:08 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Three Wishes
Episode: 38
Original Post Date: June 28, 2008
__________________________________________
Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, and BigBoss are in the apartment one morning...
Monkeysarefunny: What time is it now?
Isiah Zombie: It's 8:00 am.
Monkeysarefunny: Damn, it's early.
Isiah Zombie: Oh wait, never mind. It's actually 8:05 am.
Monkeysarefunny: Damn, it's late.
Isiah Zombie: There's nothing on TV this early in the morning.
BigBoss: You guys mean to tell me that I came all the way from my Shanty to escape Wendy just to sit around and watch TV? I thought we were going to do something exciting! *grabs TV and throws it out the window* ...Come on guys, get a life!
Isiah Zombie: Hey man! I was going to watch TV!
BigBoss:
Isiah Zombie: .....But since that idea is out the window, I guess I can do something exciting instead.
Monkeysarefunny: I can't really do anything exciting right now, cuz my snazzy Led Zeppelin jacket was ruined yesterday. I can't be seen in public without it.
Isiah Zombie: And also you don't have any money to go out and do anything exciting.
Monkeysarefunny: Well yeah, that too... but more importantly, my jacket was RUINED!
BigBoss: That's not an excuse. If you guys don't come up with any ideas in the next 5 minutes, I'm going to lay the smack down-hammer on you two!
Isiah Zombie: Oh crap! I wish something could help me come up with ideas real quick...
*Female Genie appears out of a puff of smoke*
Jeannie: KA-ZAM! That's terrific! What are your next two wishes?
Isiah Zombie: .....
Monkeysarefunny: .....
BigBoss: .....
Jeannie: Now, there's got to be something else that you'd wish for, right? You've used one wish already, but you still have two more wishes to use! That's terrific, wouldn't you say?
Isiah Zombie: Who the hell are you and how'd you get in my house??
Jeannie: We could get into all the needy-greedy willy-nilly, but all that matters to you is that you've got two more wishes, right?
Isiah Zombie: Well, yeah...
Jeannie: KA-ZAM! That's terrific! So what do you want to wish for next?
Isiah Zombie: Well let's see, I've always wanted to wish for-
Monkeysarefunny: Aww... come one! Can't I get a wish too? Purty please?
BigBoss: Don't forget to grant me some wishes as well, you crazy genie-lady person, you.
Jeannie: I have some great news for you two! You both get to get your very own genie's!
*Arabian Genie appears out of a puff of smoke*
Aladdin: Muahahahaha! I am Aladdin! The desire to dominate a new realm has been chartered in the deep, dark depths of my new cold-blooded master! Now, to re-assert myself with the new God of Mischief, how are you doing today?
Monkeysarefunny: ...Are you my genie?
Aladdin: Er, that depends - are you the God of Mischief?
Monkeysarefunny: No... but the other day I put hot sauce in IZ's chicken soup even though he specifically asked me not to.
Aladdin: Then yes! I am your genie! Together, with our powers combined, we will rule the universe with our clever, cunning, rapist wit!
Monkeysarefunny: Sweet...
*Amother Genie appears out of a puff of smoke*
Geisty: HELOOOO! The name is Geisty! How's my sweetcreams sugar puffs doing?
BigBoss: Oh dear God, no... you aren't my genie, are you?
Geisty: Well of course I am, you little knobber! Now, before I perform any of your wildest wishes on you, we must first give you A MAGICAL MAKE-OVER! Who's with me?
Monkeysarefunny: Uhh... what's going on here?
BigBoss: Gay stuff, I'm outta here... *walks out*
Geisty: Well how RUUUDE! Anywho, I'll be in my lamp if you need me! Kisses kisses!
*vanishes*Monkeysarefunny: So, umm... I get three wishes you say?
Aladdin: That is correct, God of Mischief. How shall we rule the world this time around?
Monkeysarefunny: Well first of all, I'm going to wish for the one thing I've always wanted, and that one thing is unlimited wishes.
Aladdin: Your wish is my command! *poosh!* As requested, God of Mishief! Now, what are your next two wishes?
Monkeysarefunny: Well my next wish would be... wait a minute... what do you mean what are my next TWO wishes? You just said you granted me unlimited wishes!
Aladdin: Indeed, that is what I have done. I granted you the ability to make as many wishes as you like. However, you did not mention anything about me actually granting you any of those unlimited wishes. Muahahahaha! Do you see what I have done? I too, used to be the God of Mischief! Muahahahaha!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh boy... I better think more carefully before making anymore wishes...
Isiah Zombie: Getting back to me... I want to wish for a new TV, because BB threw my old one out earlier.
Jeannie: That's terrific! Wouldn't you say? But what's the magic word?
Isiah Zombie: Alakazam? Hocus-pocus? ....Boo-yah? Ka-pow?
Jeannie: It's please.
Isiah Zombie: Oh right. In that case, I wish for a new TV.... PLEASE!
Jeannie: Your wish is my KA-ZAM! *poosh!* New TV granted!
Isiah Zombie: Cool.... so where is it?
Jeannie: You didn't mention where you wanted to the TV to be.
Isiah Zombie: ....So where is it??
Jeannie: It is currently in a little hut in the country of Zimbabwe.
Isiah Zombie: THAT IS SOO CHEAP!
*w00tdude walks in*
w00tdude: Hey guys, I just got a chunk of taco stuck up my nose...
OH MY CONNERY! Are these ghosts in the room??
Monkeysarefunny: They're not ghosts, Mutton Butt, they're genies.
w00tdude: G-g-g-g-genies you say? Can I have one?
Monkeysarefunny: No.
w00tdude: Teh awwws...
Isiah Zombie: Actually, you can. There's a special one for you in that lamp over there. Go ahead and take it home with you.... and make sure you have a fun time with it.
w00tdude:
Okay! One day later...
Monkeysarefunny: Okay IZ, I think I finally came up with the perfect ultimate wish.
Isiah Zombie: Which is...?
Monkeysarefunny: I will wish for unlimited wishes that MUST be granted by Aladdin WHENEVER I WISH for them. You don't see any loopholes there, do you?
Isiah Zombie: Well, he could probably just say it's opposite day.
Monkeysarefunny: I could get around that.
Isiah Zombie: Or he could say that there's no such thing as a "must." Or after he grants you the unlimited wishes, he disappears forever.
Monkeysarefunny: Well I haven't thought about those yet...
Isiah Zombie: Or Aladdin may lose all his senses and therefore he cannot comprehend any of your wishes. Or every one of your unlimited wishes will be taken in the most literal fashion with Aladdin finding a loophole for every wish.
Monkeysarefunny: Alright! It's obvious that I need to do some more rethinking!
Isiah Zombie: Just remember that whatever you choose to do.... be careful what you wish for.... and never say never.
Monkeysarefunny: Now that's wishful thinking.
*Donutz walks in*
Admiral Donutz: Sorry I wasn't here yesterday, but I was real busy doing some other stuff.
Monkeysarefunny: You were at the dry cleaners getting my Led Zep jacket fixed, right?
Admiral Donutz: Wow! You remembered something! That's mind-blowing!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah I know!
Admiral Donutz: And your amnesia didn't kick in! That's also mind-blowing!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah! Tell me about it!
Isiah Zombie: And.... and.... he didn't beg for money at all this time! That's also mind-blowing!
Monkeysarefunny: ...Okay, that last one just isn't mind-blowing at all. It actually pretty much sucks. Sorry.
Isiah Zombie: But my status is mind blown, right...?
Monkeysarefunny: No.
*Jeannie appears*
Jeannie: KA-ZAM! That's terrific! Any ideas for you last wish?
Admiral Donutz: WHAT THE ****?
Isiah Zombie: Chill, Donutz. It's just my genie. Okay, now, for my last wish, I want a new TV to appear in my room with no added loopholes!
Jeannie: Your wish is my KA-ZAM! *poosh!* New TV granted!
Isiah Zombie: *examines TV* Hmmm... everything seems to be all right with it... you didn't add any loopholes to it, did you?
Jeannie: I didn't add anything to it! Not even a remote or any buttons to turn it on! That's terrific, wouldn't you say? Now that your three wishes are up, I guess I'll see you in the next life! KA-ZAM! *vanishes*
Admiral Donutz: ...What the hell did I just witness...
*Aladdin appears*
Aladdin: Muahahahaha! Aladdin is back! What is your next wish, God of Mishief?
Admiral Donutz: Holy ****!
Monkeysarefunny: That would be my genie, Donutz. Okay, listen up, Aladdin. Here's what I want. Give me the ability to make unlimited wishes that you MUST grant no matter what under any circumstances whatsoever!
Aladdin: Your wish is my command! *poosh!* As requested, God of Mishief! Now, what is your last wish?
Monkeysarefunny: Eh... last... wish? What loophole did you come up with this time?
Aladdin: It's opposite day.
Admiral Donutz: HAH! Genie! You're a genius!
Monkeysarefunny: *sigh* ....Screw this, I'll just use up my last wish on a new Led Zeppelin jacket.
Aladdin: Your wish is my command! *poosh!* As requested, God of Mishief! But since you didn't mention where you wanted it, your new jacket is in a little hut in the country of Zimbabwe! Farewell, God of Mischief! *vanishes*
Monkeysarefunny: THAT IS SOO CHEAP!
*w00tdude runs in*
w00tdude: Hey guys! Guys! You know that genie in the lamp you gave me yesterday? Well at first is seemed a little gay, so I was like "Eh... ewwww?" But then I wished for some stuff and then the genie granted them!
Isiah Zombie: The genie didn't create any loopholes in your wishes?
w00tdude: At first it did, so I was like "Now I feel teh suckish
" But then I wished for some more stuff and the genie granted them!Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, you told us that already. Now show us what you wished for before I shove a genie up your ass.
w00tdude: *pulls out remote control* Watch this! *presses big red button*
A wall on the apartment opens to reveal the w00tmobile and a w00tsuit.
w00tdude: I AM W00TMAN! I fight all the crime all over the world! No one can stop me, I say! NO ONE!
Admiral Donutz: Um...... anyways, getting back to the important stuff, why would you guys allow a genie to grant your wishes for you? You should've just wished for yourself to grant your own wishes.
Isiah Zombie: Damn.... that actually makes sense.
Monkeysarefunny: Why didn't I come up with that earlier? I don't want no blue bastard knowing what weird, demented crap I'm going to be wishing for.
Isiah Zombie: Well, that's the end of that...
Meanwhile, in a little hut in Zimbabwe...
Rashidi: *walks in hut* ...Hey cool! A new TV and jacket appeared out of nowhere!
Jamila: Hey bro, what's that?
Rashidi: I don't know, sis! But now I have American clothing and a new TV!
Jamila: I've got some bad news, Rashidid. Our parents were thinking of sending you to America.
Rashidi: What's the bad news? I can become a rapper now! Something like yo, yo, uh, yeah, uh, yo, check it, yo.
Jamila: Our parents don't like you anymore.
Rashidi: There’s always going to be criticism when your name is Rashidi. You have to wear a bulletproof vest and be ready for it.
Jamila: ...
Rashidi: I'm rich now! I remember when we were so poor growing up that we couldn't even afford to pay attention! It's all going to change now, you just wait and see
