Post by Isiah Zombie on Aug 16, 2008 10:41:39 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
The Sun Riser
Episode: 45
Original Post Date: August 16, 2008
__________________________________________
Isiah Zombie and BigBoss are at the Pet Store one morning...
Isiah Zombie: Are you sure they still sell parrots here? Wasn't there an incident where the parrots commanded all the dogs to attack?
BigBoss: Yeah, but that was a long time ago. They replaced the evil parrots with holy parrots who read the Bible and pray.
Isiah Zombie: Maybe you should get those praying parrots a female parrot that says, "Hello, I'm very horny. Do you want to have some fun?
"BigBoss: Why? I'm sure the holy parrots would say, "Stay away from us! We're saving ourselves!"
Isiah Zombie: Nah, the holy parrots would be all like, "Let's put away our Bibles, because our prayers have been answered!"
BigBoss: SHIVER ME TIMBERS!
Isiah Zombie: Heh, yeah... so... do you really think buying Wendy a new parrot would bring you two back together?
BigBoss: Yeah. We've been fighting a lot recently. I think a parrot can lighten up the mood a bit.
Isiah Zombie: Are you gonna call it WEENNDOOO again?
BigBoss: Hmmm... we'll see.
Meanwhile, Monkey and Donutz are standing outside of Shion's apartment door...
Admiral Donutz: So according to you, after we do this prank, we'll no longer see Shion and Zorat anymore?
Monkeysarefunny: Well... it'll be hard to see them when they're..... dead.
Admiral Donutz: What? This prank is supposed to KILL THEM?? You didn't tell me that!
Monkeysarefunny: Don't worry. Their death won't be listed in the newspaper under 'obituaries', it will be listed under 'neighborhood improvements'.
Admiral Donutz: Don't you realize that this could get us in trouble?
Monkeysarefunny: Duh, Donutz.... DUH. Whenever's there's nothing to say, you always say it.
Admiral Donutz: Shut-up! When I want your comments, I'll just rattle your cage!
Monkeysarefunny: But... I'm not in a cage right now...
Admiral Donutz: I didn't mean that literally. You don't think, do you?
Monkeysarefunny: Sorry. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
Meanwhile, Shion and Zorat are inside their apartment...
Shion Alien: Zorat, do you remember why we are on this planet?
Zorat Robot: (robot voice) We-fled-our home planet due to the war that your father initiated. He-created-his own bases occupied with the most advanced troops.
Shion Alien: That's right... and when my father needed me most, I fled the planet because I was too scared to fight. Well that's it! No more hiding! I'm going to get The Sun Riser ready and fly back home!
Zorat Robot: Master-Shion, when you fled, your new mission was to abduct humanoids for thier spare body parts. Human-organs-are needed to fuel The Sun Riser spaceships.
Shion Alien: Oh... I forgot about that...
...I failed my father yet again. I'm a complete failure! Maybe I should just kill myself tomorrow!Zorat Robot: Would-you-like me to add the event "Kill yourself" to August 16th on your planner.
Shion Alien: Huh? Why do you hate me, Zorat?
Zorat Robot: I-love-you Master Shion.
Shion Alien: Then why did you just tell me to kill myself?
Zorat Robot: Because-I-needed to.
Several hours later, BigBoss is in his Shanty with his new parrot "Wendo"...
BigBoss: Alright Wendo. Remember our plan? When Wendy walks in, you smile and say, "Welcome home, BABE! We've missed you!" ...You know, just for kicks.
Wendo: GWAACK! Polly wanna cracker!
BigBoss: Oh no... not this again.
Wendo: GWACK! BigBoss wanna cracker! Moron...
BigBoss: Are all parrots the same around here? Listen up, Wendo, and listen up good. This is my last chance to get back with Wendy, so if you screw it up, I'm going to throw you out the window like a football. You got it?
Wendo: NO YOU IDIOT! GWAACK!
BigBoss: Watch your language, you potty-mouthed fledgling!
Wendo: GWACK! **** you!
BigBoss: Oh that is it! *grabs Wendo* Say hello to sub-zero temperatures! *puts Wendy in Freezer*
Wendo: (inside freezer) GWAAAACK! Polly wanna popsicle! Idiot...
Meanwhile, Isiah Zombie visits El Dave's apartment...
El Dave: So yeah, my girlfriend is so ugly, that when she worked in a pet store, people kept asking her how big she would get...
Isiah Zombie: Then maybe you should get a new girlfriend.
El Dave: But my girlfriend loves nature! And I do too!
Isiah Zombie: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.
El Dave: Boo yah! That was zany! I like anything zany! Zanyholic!
Isiah Zombie: So uhh... have you talked to her recently?
El Dave: Yeah. She phoned me and said... "Come on over! There's nobody home!" So I went over.
Isiah Zombie: Let me guess, you had a good time, didn't you?
El Dave: She was right!
........Nobody was home!Isiah Zombie: Oh, umm... here, let me get you some more Loco Alcohol, Mr. Landlord...
Meanwhile, down the hall in another room, Monkey and Donutz have finished setting up the prank for Shion and Zorat...
Admiral Donutz: Do you really think this prank is going to work?
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah! They don't call me McNasty for nothing!
Admiral Donutz: But... it's just a giant red X on the floor outside of their door.
Monkeysarefunny: No, it's a giant red DANGEROUS X on the floor outside of their door!
Admiral Donutz: So how are we supposed to make Shion and Zorat walk on it?
Monkeysarefunny: We'll just leave a flaming bag of dog crap on the foot of their door, knock twice, then watch our mechanical contraption do the rest of the work!
Admiral Donutz:
...I doubt you can be THAT stupid to think that this could actually work.Monkeysarefunny: Stupidity requires no licensing.
Admiral Donutz: We'll probably just end up leaving a big mess, and knowing El Dave, he'll probably make us clean it all up.
Monkeysarefunny: Not to worry, these expensive Italian shoes should make short work of it.... Alright Donutz! Let's light this candle!
Several minutes later, inside Shion and Zorat's apartment...
Shion Alien: Okay Zorat, I programmed the Sun Riser to start up from here. Are you ready to finally leave this dreadful planet?
Zorat Robot: Affirmative-Master-Shion.
Shion Alien: Goodbye, Earth... *opens door* ...? There's a flaming bag on our door step. Also, there's a giant X on the floor. I wonder what it's meant for?
Zorat Robot: Smell-sensors-detecting foul substance inside bag.
Shion Alien: Well, maybe it's just a- *walks on red X*
Metal contraption on ceiling shoots down a net which covers Shion and pulls him up...
Shion Alien: (in net) Ahh! What is this?
Monkeysarefunny: *appears* HUZZAH! You just got owned, *****!
Admiral Donutz: *appears* Yeah! What he said!
Zorat Robot: *points laser arm at Monkey* Master-Shion, shall I zap the douche.
Shion Alien: What is the meaning of all this??
Monkeysarefunny: You have a choice ahead of you! You can either pack your bags and leave the planet, or you can face certain death AND DIE!
Shion Alien: I was already leaving! Just get me out of here!
Isiah Zombie and El Dave hear all the commotion down the hall...
El Dave: *approaching* What's going on here? Me and IZ were having a lovely conversation about how ugly my girlfriend is, then all of a sudden, I heard a loud noise.
Isiah Zombie: Heh... looks like another one of Monkey's crazy pranks.
El Dave: GREAT GOOGAMOOGA!!
I've had enough of this! You two groups fight all the time! Normally, I like anything zany, but your actions have been driving away many potentially rich residents!Isiah Zombie:
What are you saying?El Dave: You're all outta here! I'm kicking the five of you out of the apartments for good!
Isiah Zombie: NOOOO!
Admiral Donutz: ....What??
Monkeysarefunny: Dammit!
Shion Alien: GOOD! I was leaving anyways!
Zorat Robot: If-I-were human, I would be protocol-laughing my ass off.
Isiah Zombie: Mr. Landlord, you can't do this! I mean, where are we supposed to live now?
El Dave: I don't really care what happens to you - because now it's time to for me to drink some ZANAHOL! I can't live without LOCOHOL! Randomness for the win! Yeah! *walks away*
One hour later, BigBoss and his girlfriend Wendy are back at BB's Shanty...
BigBoss: Wow, who would've thought that we could settle our arguments just by talking things over?
Wendy: I know! There's no more need for backstabbing and gossipping like we used to
BigBoss: This is great. So, what's for dinner?
Wendy: I made something special for you! *puts plate on table* Tell me if you like it!
BigBoss: *takes bite* Hmm.... it has very distinct flavor. What is it?
Wendy: Oh, umm, I... I'm sorry, but I don't really know what it is. I just grabbed a bunch of things and put them together.
BigBoss: *takes bite* Mmmm! Tastes like chicken! But seriously, what is this?
Wendy: Oh, well... I grabbed a few spices from your countertop, a couple of vegetables from your refrigerator, and.... oh yeah, that turkey in your freezer.
BigBoss: That's cool........... wait, I don't have a turkey in the freezer.
Wendy: Sure you do! I saw a bird in there and decided to cook it! But who cares what it is, you like it anyways, right?
BigBoss: .......! You grabbed a bird from the freezer? You mean..... you grabbed...... MY PET PARROT?!? DID I just ****ing eat WENDO THE PARROT?? SHIVER MY ****in' TIMBERS
!Wendy: Watch your language, please.
BigBoss: Screw you - you ****ing CHEF FROM HELL! *runs out*
Wendy: *sigh* ......And so it begins, yet again......
Meanwhile, back outside the apartment complex...
Isiah Zombie: So...... have we reached an agreement?
Shion Alien: Yes, I believe so. The deal is: I offer you housing in my Sun Riser spaceship until you can get your own house, while in return, you three agree to meet my father.
Monkeysarefunny: Seems too easy. I still don't trust these two.
Admiral Donutz: Yeah, me neither. But I kinda want to meet Shion's father.
Zorat Robot: Humans-are-the real malfunctions. They-cannot-be trusted with their free willy spirit.
Isiah Zombie: Everybody listen! We HAVE to do this because it's our only option! And by "our only option" I mean... it was my first idea.
Shion Alien: You humans are so... intriguing... alright, are we all ready to board the Sun Riser?
Admiral Donutz: Take-me-to your leader! I mean, take me to your father!
Shion Alien: Okay - all aboard!
Isiah Zombie, Monkey, Donutz, Shion and Zorat are in the Sun Riser, which is large spaceship that has a cockpit, different rooms, and many hallways...
Monkeysarefunny: On second thought, this spaceship is kinda cozy.
Isiah Zombie: See? Our side of the bargain is quite easy when you think about it.
Admiral Donutz: So Shion, where does your father live?
Shion Alien: He lives back home, on the planet-
Monkeysarefunny: -Mars?
Shion Alien: -Yes, we should arrive there in about 5 months.
Isiah Zombie: FIVE MONTHS? You didn't mention that as part of the deal!
Shion Alien: The deal was that you meet my father, and in time, you will.
Admiral Donutz: Ffffff***!
Zorat Robot: Humans-have-many qualities, including their inability to recognize when they are being deceived.
Monkeysarefunny: ...I told you not to trust these guys! You guys never listen to me!
Shion Alien: *looks at empty fuel gauge* ...Uh-oh, it seems as if we're running low on fuel.
Zorat Robot: No-worries-Master Shion. We-have-the human organs on board that are needed to fuel The Sun Riser spaceship.
Shion Alien: *looks at the trio* Oh yeah... that's right
