Post by Isiah Zombie on Sept 27, 2008 16:50:36 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
L.A. Neighborhood
Episode: 51
Original Post Date: September 27, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, Admiral Donutz, and w00tdude are on a train headed west during sunset...
Isiah Zombie: It feels good to finally be headed home! Going back to MY house in Los Angeles!
Admiral Donutz: Is your house big?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, in fact, it's-
Monkeysarefunny: -Comically big. The last time I was there was for that Thanksgiving party..... Mmmm.... now I'm in the mood for some gravy.
w00tdude: You mean like the gravy train we're on right now?
Isiah Zombie: What? We're on a gravy train? But they usually crash and then there's blood and gravy everywhere!
Monkeysarefunny: ....What the hell is wrong with you, IZ? My mother was in the great-gravy-train-crash of 1986. Show some respect.
Admiral Donutz: Really MAF??
Monkeysarefunny: No, of course not. You know, all this week I was asking one kid to do a barrel roll.
Isiah Zombie: Did you succeed?
Monkeysarefunny: He barrel-rolled down a hill, yes.
The train pulls up into the station... IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude get off and walk towards the street...
Admiral Donutz: If a train station is where the train stops, then what is a work station?
Isiah Zombie: Who cares... I think I'm gonna hail a taxi cab... even though it's incredibly hard to get one around here.
Monkeysarefunny: Couldn't we just drive that Ford Fiesta we had? You know, the CHOONTY one?
Isiah Zombie: That car sucked! It only went 50 miles per hour - going DOWNHILL!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, I see.
Isiah Zombie: I see that you see. Okay, I see a taxi cab coming.... stand back and watch me work my magic!
Isiah Zombie pulls out a GIANT-ASS SIGN that reads "BIG TIPPER" and wails it around...
*taxi cub quickly pulls over*
Rashidi: *opens taxi door* You pay big tips?? Come in my taxi cab now!
w00tdude: Wee-haw
!Monkeysarefunny: Sha-weet.
Isiah Zombie: It never hurts to be rich...
Admiral Donutz: Yeah! It pays to be rich!
Isiah Zombie: Yes, yes it does.
*the four squeeze into the taxi cab*
Rashidi: Good evening, patrons. My name is Rashidi, I come from Zimbabwe. Where shall I transport you this evening?
Monkeysarefunny: That's a cool Led Zep jacket you got there...
Rashidi: Ah! You noticed! It magically appeared in my hut ages ago! Since then, I have recieved many great fortunes!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, anyways, here's a paper with directions, drive there as soon as possible.
Rashidi: -I came to America because I plan on becoming a rapper. Something like yo, yo, uh, yeah, uh, yo, check it, yo.
Isiah Zombie: DRIVE TO DESTINATION NOW PLEASE!
Rashidi: Why are you mad at me? Is it because my name is Rashidi? There's always going to be criticism when your name is Rashidi. You have to wear a bulletproof vest and be ready for it.... *drives off*
Thirty minutes later, as it turns dark outside, the taxi cab drops them off at Isiah Zombie's House...
Isiah Zombie: Yes! Finally I've arrived back at my house! Back in Los Angeles - also known as "The City of Angels"! What do you guys think of it?
Admiral Donutz: Very nice.
Monkeysarefunny: It's umm.... it's ship-shaped....
w00tdude: -I like ships because they have pirates on them! They say stuff like: "Arrrgh, and then me scallywag mates went to Davy Jones Lockerrr whar evr'thing is blasted away ta smithereens!"
Monkeysarefunny: Shut-up, Mutton Butt, before I kick you off the poop-deck-plankateer.
w00tdude: "I-Went t'Town t'Buy s'm-Bread!"
Monkeysarefunny: SHUT UP
!w00tdude: Great...... Now I feel teh suckish
Isiah Zombie: Let's take a step inside, shall we?
Just then, the neighbors start an uproar on the sidewalk...
Mdiddy: (from one house to the right) Woman! You get your ass back inside right now or I'll call the cops on ya!
Random Woman #1: Ya think ya can threaten me like that a'gin? Get over ya'self! *runs off*
Mdiddy: NO! YOU GET OVER MYSELF!
Isiah Zombie: *cough* ...H-Hey there, Didster...
Mdiddy: ...Zombie? ZOMBIE? ...ZOMBIE MAN? YOU'RE BACK??
Isiah Zombie: Yep... I'm back.
Mdiddy: Well give me a bear hug, you old undead piece a crap!
Isiah Zombie: *walks over and hugs Mdiddy* ....Alright, you can let go now.
Mdiddy: *holds on* ...But it's been so loooong...
Isiah Zombie:
ALRIGHT MAN! Get off me before I BUST a CAP in yo ASS!Mdiddy: *stops hugging* ...Now you're speaking my language. So did you bust these guys out of jail or is the circus in town?
Isiah Zombie: Didster, I want to introduce you to three of my best buds: Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude.
Mdiddy: Uhh... w00t man? What's your story?
w00tdude: I have a pet Rex Rat
!Mdiddy: What was that, you little punk? *gets pimping gun*
w00tdude: Teh awwwws!
Monkeysarefunny: Heh heh, I think I kinda like this guy.
Mdiddy: -Monkey man? What's your story?
Monkeysarefunny: I'm just a guy who thinks that monkeys are funny. I also cannot date girls who are taller than me.
Mdiddy: Just wear high heels. They work for me.
Monkeysarefunny: Sorry hoamy, I don't swing that way.... well, just not in your direction.
Mdiddy: I accept your apology. Now dance, Monkey man! Dance!
Monkeysarefunny: Whoo-yeah! *starts to do big-city dance*
Admiral Donutz: Wow.... MAF, you have long ways to go before you can dance like me.
Mdiddy: Are you the Donut man? Tell me your story!
Admiral Donutz: Oh, me? I've been ill lately and I'm hella sleepy.
Mdiddy: Nobody cares!
Admiral Donutz: I care.
Mdiddy: Oh excuse me, nobody that matters cares, that better?
Admiral Donutz: I really do care, not that you care.
Mdiddy: Oh... yeah, I really do care too... Sorta. Maybe. No. Hell no.
Isiah Zombie: Don't be so mean to my friends, Didster.
Mdiddy: Are you the Zombie man? Tell me your story!
Isiah Zombie: Umm...... you already know who I am.
Mdiddy: Did you read the sign outside my house? Did you?
Isiah Zombie: Umm... *reads sign* "This house is protected by a 12-gauge Shotgun three nights a week........... You PICK WHICH NIGHTS!"
Mdiddy: Do you want to make tonight one of those nights?
Isiah Zombie: No-no... I sure don't... *looks around* ....Any takers?
Thirty minutes later, IZ, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude walk inside IZ's house...
Monkeysarefunny: Wow this place is roomy. It seems bigger than last time.
Isiah Zombie: Yep... we all get our own rooms too.
Admiral Donutz: Yes! I can finally practice my chemist skillz without accidentally burning off someone's face! ....Again!
w00tdude: Yeah, tell me about it...
Isiah Zombie: Don't even think about it, Donutz. You guys are in my house, meaning you must abide by my rules!
Monkeysarefunny: -Go make me a sandwich.
Isiah Zombie: No! I just said that you must abide by my rules!
Monkeysarefunny: Make me.
Isiah Zombie: What? You should try doing something productive for once in your life!
Monkeysarefunny: I AM doing something productive! I am MAKING you MAKE me a sandwhich!
Isiah Zombie: GAH! Try and MAKE ME make you a Sandwich!
Monkeysarefunny: *points finger gun* ...I think you know where this is headed. If you don't bring me a sandwich... then I'm gonna bust a cap in YO ass!
Isiah Zombie: O-Okay.... *walks out*
Isiah Zombie walks outside in the dark to his other neighbor on the left...
Isiah Zombie: *knock knock* ...Anybody home?
??: (from inside, old lady voice) WHO'S THERE??
Isiah Zombie: Uhh... I'm just your neighbor.
??: GET OUT!
Isiah Zombie: I was wondering, if you would ever so kindly..... make me a sandwich..... for one of my friends.
??: ...You want me... to make you a sandwich......?
Isiah Zombie: If you wouldn't mind.
Grandmama: *opens door* ...Well hello there youngling
!Isiah Zombie: So.... are you giving me a yay or nay on the sandwich situation?
Grandmama: Well I'd be delighted to make you a sandwich!
Zane: *walks up from basement* -Grandmama? Who's at the door?
Grandmama: GET BACK IN THE BASEMENT before I light the TORCH on you AGAIN!
Zane: Y-Yes, Grandmama! *runs back down to basement*
Grandmama: So youngling, would you like ham on rye-bread or a tuna sandwhich
?Isiah Zombie: Uhh...... the uhh.... the second one.
Grandmama: Okay! Come inside and take a seat! It's finally good to have someone who appreciates my food for once! *walks into kitchen*
Isiah Zombie: *walks inside house* ....Hmmm, I guess you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish....
Zane: *slowly creeps back up* ....PSSSST! H-Hey you... is she gone?
Isiah Zombie: ...Huh? Who are you? And why are you wearing a giant blue-pajama-suit at the age of thirty? It just seems odd... though I have to comment on your exquisite beard.
Zane: Listen! My name is Zane! You have to get me out of here!
Isiah Zombie: Why? Is your grandmama abusing you? Because if she is, I can give you a weapon for self-defense.
Zane: Do you actually OWN the weapon, like physically..... if not, would you pleeeease send it to me in an envelope
? I'm going crazy, it's so hard to search for a weapon with a name like this... if you don't understand where I'm going with this, just ignore me.... Isiah Zombie: Oh believe me, I want to help you, it's just that-
Grandmama: (from kitchen) -I'm almost done! Would you like mustard on your sandwhich?
Isiah Zombie: Uh, yeah sure-
Zane: Noooo! Stay away from her MUSTARD! PLEEEASE! STAY AWAY!
Isiah Zombie: -Nevermind lady, I..... brought my own mustard, yeah.
Zane: Oh no! She's almost done! I gotta hide!
Isiah Zombie: Can't you just run out? I mean, the door is right there.
Zane: The last time I did that... *unbuttons pajamas* ...this is what happened to me.....
Isiah Zombie: Whoa! Are those claw marks on your chest?
Zane: Yes.... my Grandmama put on a glove with claws, and then she-
Grandmama: (from kitchen) -It's ready! Prepare for the finest sandwhich of your life!
Zane: Ah! No pleeeease no! *hides under couch*
Grandmama: *walks back in* ...Here it is! I put in some roadkill especially for you!
Isiah Zombie: And why would you assume that I like roadkill?
Grandmama: The undead eat the dead, no?
Isiah Zombie: No, that would make me a cannibal. Which I'm not, because I'm a very sophisticated zombie. You know, I should probably be going now... I think I'll take the sandwhich with me though... *grabs sandwich and walks out*
Grandmama: Okay dear! You come back now, you hear? ....YA HEAR
??Isiah Zombie walks back to his house holding a Roadkill Sandwich... while Monkey is alone looking out the window towards Zane's house...
Monkeysarefunny: H-Hey IZ.... who's our neighbor on the left side?
Isiah Zombie: Why? Are you looking for a boyfriend already?
Monkeysarefunny: No, I just heard some guy screaming next door. He sounded like he was enduring some serious pain.
Isiah Zombie: Oh, that's Zane. He's probably getting his ass torched by his grandmama again. Nothing outside the norm.
Monkeysarefunny: Ah.... that makes sense now. Hey look! I see him through his window!
*Zane holds up a sign from his room*
Isiah Zombie: Hmm.. it seems as if he's trying to communicate.
Monkeysarefunny: Wait.... what does the sign say?
Isiah Zombie: It reads... "Save me please!"
Monkeysarefunny: Woah, is that written in blood?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, seems like it.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh.... I think I'm gonna like it here in L.A.
Isiah Zombie: Yes, there are many good times to be had in the near, near future...
w00tdude: *walks in* ...Mmmm! That sandwich looks tasty! *takes a bite*
Isiah Zombie: That's a roadkill sandwich. I think it has a dead rat in it.
w00tdude: *spits* ....Did I just eat my dead Rex Rat?!? AH NO! *runs out*
Monkeysarefunny: Yep, I'm DEFINETELEY going to love it here in L.A.
