The Zombie Guy Show (55)

[Isiah Zombie]

The Zombie Guy Show

Trick or Treat
Episode: 55
Original Post Date: October 26, 2008

__________________________________________

Isiah Zombie is at MDiddy's House one morning listening to a story...

Isiah Zombie: *sips coffee* ...So what happened next?
Mdiddy: Five minutes later, I hear "OHHHH! OHHH YES! YES YES!! OHHHHHHHH!" My girl was moaning from upstairs louder than I had ever heard, and I could faintly hear my friend grunting in the background.
Isiah Zombie: Oh that bastard!
Mdiddy: Yeah. This went on for about fifteen minutes, and then they came back downstairs telling me the microwave was broken.
Isiah Zombie: So that's why they didn't give you that Hot Pocket they promised?
Mdiddy: Pretty much... and that's why I decided to never stay with one woman. They're always bound to cheat on you.
Isiah Zombie: So if you have only a cold hot pocket, is that just a pocket?
Mdiddy: Don't change the subject. What about you ZOMBIE MAN? How many girls do you get daily? Five? Ten?
Isiah Zombie: I don't really get women on a daily basis...
Mdiddy: Then when's the last time you got laid?
Isiah Zombie: I think a better question is: when's the first time I got laid? HAHA!
Mdiddy: Okay, when's the first time you got laid?
Isiah Zombie: Um...... PATENT PENDING. BACK OFF MAN! *drinks coffee* ...Switching topic here, are you coming over to my birthday party tomorrow?
Mdiddy: A party? You mean... with people?
Isiah Zombie: Yes with people. It's only going to be me and a few of my friends.
Mdiddy: Hell no. I'm throwing my own big-ass Halloween party here tomorrow. I'm inviting all the best hoes and bros from all over the world. It's gonna be the ****.
Isiah Zombie: So you're not going to celebrate my birthday at my house? Well... well SCREW YOU then!
Mdiddy: Just like the old times. You're not gonna get mad and make me hold you again, are you?
Isiah Zombie: N-No... of course not...

Meanwhile, Donutz, Monkey, and w00tdude are back at IZ's House...

*Monkeysarefunny wakes up on couch*

Monkeysarefunny: (wearing party hat) ...Ummm... why am I wearing this party hat?
Admiral Donutz: IZ put it on when you were sleeping. It's his birthday tomorrow and he wants to remind everyone.
Monkeysarefunny: No need for that. I get reminded of his birthday every time I open my closet door and I get hit with a confetti-sprinkle-shower... and suddenly I'm covered in gay glitter like Mutton Butt or something.
w00tdude: You liked it ? I helped IZ with making little party-reminder-surprises!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh... well then... since you had something to do with this, then I'll make sure NOT to be here tomorrow.
w00tdude: That's RUDE!
Monkeysarefunny: ...You're rude.
w00tdude: What?
Monkeysarefunny: Walk away.
w00tdude: ...Now I feel teh suckish

10 minutes later, IZ walks from MDiddy's House back to his house...

Isiah Zombie: Hey guys. I sure hope you got my presents ready for me!
Admiral Donutz: ...Of course we did.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh greeeat. Now I have to get you a present? Why are you acting like it's your birthday or something-oh wait.
Isiah Zombie: HAHA! You have to get me something nice for my birthday!
w00tdude: Don't worry IZ! I got you something super-duper special! ...What time is the party again?
Isiah Zombie: It's at 7-O-Clock PM. Remember that: SEVEN O CLOCK PM!
Monkeysarefunny: Umm... when's your birthday again?
Isiah Zombie: Tomorrow. On Halloween.
Monkeysarefunny: What year?
Isiah Zombie: Every year, doofus!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, clearly, I'm the doofus, right.
Admiral Donutz: So, IZ... did you invite anyone else?
Isiah Zombie: Psh... no... I asked MDiddy and he was all like, "No I can't come, I'm too busy hosting the best Halloween party ever." ...Fricken nerd.
Monkeysarefunny: Best... Halloween... party... EVAR??
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, too bad it's on my birthday. I'm going to invite more people right now, so if they decide to come over, that makes a total of FIVE people ! *walks out*
Admiral Donutz: *sigh* ...We have a real problem here.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, tell me about it.
Admiral Donutz: We forgot to buy IZ his presents!
Monkeysarefunny: What? That's not the problem, you idiot!
Admiral Donutz: Then what is?
Monkeysarefunny: We need a way to sneak over to MDiddy's party without seeming like a pair of..... douche bags.
Admiral Donutz: Hmm.... you're right. We need a plan. *tick-tock music plays*

Meanwhile, IZ walks to Zane's House...

*knock knock!*

Isiah Zombie: Hellooo? Anybody home?
Zane: *opens door* ...W-W-What are you doing here??
Isiah Zombie: I was just wondering if you wanted to come over to my birthday party tomorrow.
Zane: What?!? You know I can't leave this house! My Grandmama won't let me leave! She will NEVER let me leave!!
Isiah Zombie: Never?
Zane: NEVER EVER!
Isiah Zombie: Not even for a couple of hours?
Zane: NOT EVEN for a couple of HOURS! .........Although...
Isiah Zombie: Oh geez, there's always a catch, isn't there?
Zane: There's only one way I can go to your party. That one way requires me to have a box of matches, a popsicle stick, and several gallons of bleach.
Isiah Zombie: Um... what do you plan on doing there, MacGyver?
Zane: Something I should've done a long time ago.... I should have KILLED THE BEAST!
Isiah Zombie: That's a good idea... it sure is... but I guess what we need to ask ourselves now is: is that the BEST IDEA?
Zane: HELL YEAH!
Isiah Zombie: N-No... it's not. You know what? How about I just walk away and pretend we never had this conversation?
Zane: No! NOOO! Don't leave me alone with her! Not AGAAAAIN!

Isiah Zombie walks away back to his house..... meanwhile, inside IZ's House...

Admiral Donutz: *tick-tock music stops* I'm not sure if that plan will work. It just seems a bit... outlandish...
Monkeysarefunny: Do you dare question my abilities to conduct a douche-baggery-free plan?
Admiral Donutz: No, not at all. But I mean... your plan is that we take turns enjoying Mdiddy's party while one of stays at IZ's House... so that IZ wouldn't notice that we've suddenly dissapeared.
Monkeysarefunny: And will that plan NOT work??
Admiral Donutz: You and I both know that once you go to Mdiddy's party, you'll forget all about our plan and spend the whole night there.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh.... yeah....
Isiah Zombie: *walks in* ...Well, Zane gave me a no-go. Guess that means there will be a total of FOUR people for my birthday party ! Sweet!
Monkeysarefunny: Really? That's it? Oh boy... I.... I think I need to lie down... *sits on couch* ...... *confetti shower pops from ceiling and lands onto Monkey*
Isiah Zombie: HAHA! You liked that little reminder surprise, didn't you?
Monkeysarefunny: Shoot me. Shoot me in the face.

One day later... on Halloween and on Isiah Zombie's birthday... Monkey and Donutz are at IZ's House alone...

Admiral Donutz: Quick! It's almost 7 PM! IZ will be here any minute! Come up with a plan to ditch this party already!
Monkeysarefunny: Okay, okay... let me think here... hmm... alright how about this: we go to BBQDiddy's house for a little while, make a little small talk here and there, and then when the time is right, WE STAY THERE!
Admiral Donutz: So in other words, you just want to flat out go to MDiddy's house instead?
Monkeysarefunny: Hell yeah !
Admiral Donutz: But what about IZ?
Monkeysarefunny: Look Donutz, this is a Trick or Treat situation. We either trick IZ into going to the best party evar with us, or we treat IZ to the best party EVAR!
Admiral Donutz: Sounds like a plan. Let's move... *walks out*

5 minutes later, Monkey and Donutz walk over to Mdiddy's House...

Monkeysarefunny: When IZ sees we're not home, he'll walk over here anyways.
Admiral Donutz: Eh.... I'm feeling kinda bad that we ditched one party to come to another...
Monkeysarefunny: IZ doesn't deserve a party anyways. Besides, were any famous people born on his birthday?
Admiral Donutz: No people, just little babies.
Monkeysarefunny: Shu-shut up. Stop using logic on me.
Admiral Donutz: I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. Uh-oh.... that sounded wrong.
Monkeysarefunny: Who cares? Nobody's listening.

*Monkey's cell-phone rings*

Monkeysarefunny: *answers phone* City Mourge. How may I help you?
w00tdude: (on phone) Monkey? Where are you? I'm at IZ's House and nobody's home!
Monkeysarefunny: I'm at a party...
w00tdude: You are? E-mail me a beer please !
Monkeysarefunny: What did you call me for? Make it quick!
w00tdude: I just wanted to know what you're getting for IZ's birthday? Because I got him a super-duper gift!
Monkeysarefunny: I'm getting him a box a humility. Now shut up and leave me alone!
w00tdude: Teh awwwws! *hangs up*

Monkey and Donutz walk inside MDiddy's House, which has about 50 people in costumes dancing...

Monkeysarefunny: Wow... BBQDiddy turned the Slaughterhouse... into... a dance party...
Mdiddy: *sees Monkey* Hey there MONKEY MAN! Welcome to the best Halloween Party EVAR!
Monkeysarefunny: H-hey there... don't tell IZ this, but we're not supposed to be here.
Mdiddy: Heh heh... he invited me to his place too! My party is crap-loads better than his 5-people party, am I right dawg?? Am I Right?!?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes! You are right dawg!
Admiral Donutz: I don't know... I feel kinda guilty for leaving IZ alone with w00ty...
Mdiddy: Hey there DONUT MAN! Come on! Hop on the dance floor and get YO GROOVE ON! I heard you were good at dancing!
Admiral Donutz: I am, but not when I feel guilty.
Mdiddy: Oh ****! It's time for the BBQ eat-off! Gotta go! *runs off*
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, that should be fun to watch.
Admiral Donutz: You know what? I'm going back to IZ's house. He was always there for me when I needed him, and now I'll be there when he needs me.
Monkeysarefunny: Your individuality is important to you -- I can see that. But to be with a person that nobody else would even consider hanging out with shows me how stupid you really are. In contrast, you are fairly smart, but it's just too bad you always act like kind of an idiot.
Admiral Donutz: Whatever.... *walks out*
Monkeysarefunny: Psh... douche.

One hour later... still at MDiddy's party...

Mdiddy: Hey there MONKEY MAN! Where did the DONUT MAN go?
Monkeysarefunny: He left. He felt he needed some space.
Mdiddy: I'll give him space.... 6 feet under!
Monkeysarefunny: ...
Mdiddy: Water, 6 feet under water.
Monkeysarefunny: Donutz was right. This party is wack. Seriously, where's the booze? I think I'll go back to IZ's House. In IZ's defense, he does give me food, shelter, and free ring-dings...
Mdiddy: What do you mean "go back?" The ZOMBIE MAN is here at my party!
Monkeysarefunny: ...What? ...WHAT??
Mdiddy: Yeah, he's over there, dancing at the table over there.
Isiah Zombie: *break-dancing on table* YEEEE-HAAAAW !
Crowd: *chants* Go Zombie! Go Zombie! Go Zombie!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh that *****! He is sooooo dead !

*Monkey walks over to IZ*

Isiah Zombie: HAHA! This is the best party EVAR!
Monkeysarefunny: *cough* ...AHERM?!?
Isiah Zombie: Oh... hey-hey... Monkey... what are you doing here?
Monkeysarefunny: Well I was at your house like you told me to. Do the words "7-O-CLOCK" mean NOTHING to you?
Isiah Zombie: I... uhh... I forgot about my party... I'm so sorry!
Monkeysarefunny: Why you little-*looks at all the women surrounding IZ*-Meh.... we all mistakes. Here! Have a beer !
Isiah Zombie: You're not mad that I ditched my own party?
Monkeysarefunny: Nah. It happens to the best of us. On the plus side, I don't have to get you a super-duper present because YOU'RE the one acted like a douchebag!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah! That's right! And now I can get women on a daily basis because of my crazy breakdancing skillz!
Monkeysarefunny: Not really, but hur-yeah!