Post by Isiah Zombie on Nov 1, 2008 18:12:05 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Haunted House
Episode: 56
Original Post Date: November 1, 2008
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Isiah Zombie, Monkey, Donutz, and w00tdude approach the graveyard...
Isiah Zombie: Wow, nice graveyard. I should hang out here more often.
w00tdude: I'm scared! What are we doing here again??
Monkeysarefunny: Mutton Butt, we're on our way to the Haunted Mansion on the other side of this graveyard.
Admiral Donutz: -To find a ghost box.
Isiah Zombie: -To sell to "Ghost in a Box" industries. That place buys ghosts by the barrel! We're gonna be rich I tell you! Rich!
w00tdude: Do I really have to be here?
Monkeysarefunny: Yes dammit! Without you, who else will lure the demons into our bag?
w00tdude: OH MY CONNERY! Me so scared
!Admiral Donutz: HAH! It's just a graveyard, w00ty.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, it must be a pretty nice graveyard, since people are dying to get in.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh. So... IZ, how many people do you think are dead in this graveyard?
Isiah Zombie: I'm not sure. Eye-balling it I'd say like what, 40, 50?
Monkeysarefunny: Nope. All of them!
Isiah Zombie: ...
Admiral Donutz: ...
w00tdude: ...
Monkeysarefunny: Except the caretaker.
*IZ, Monkey, Donutz and w00tdude start to walk through the graveyard*
Isiah Zombie: Did you guys know that across the street from our house there's a bar that has a skeleton bartender?
Admiral Donutz: Why doesn't he ever come to our house?
Monkeysarefunny: Maybe because he had no body to go with! ...Lame joke, I know.
w00tdude: Maybe the skeleton bartender can't find our house.
Admiral Donutz: Why can't he just cross the street like normal people?
Monkeysarefunny: Because he didn't have the guts! ...Lame joke again, my bad.
Isiah Zombie: I haven't seen Mr. Skeleton lately, though.
Admiral Donutz: What do you think happened to him?
Monkeysarefunny: He probably went to the body shop! ...Okay, I'll just stop now.
Isiah Zombie: Okay, there's the Haunted House up ahead. Let's go catch us a ghost!
*the four walk inside the Haunted House*
Isiah Zombie: It's kinda creepy in here. Donutz, can you take out that brochure by "Ghost in a Box" industries and read the part where it says "How to catch a Ghost"?
Admiral Donutz: Sure... *checks pockets* ...uh-oh.
w00tdude: W-What's the matter?!?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh God. Don't tell me.
Admiral Donutz: It seems I may have misplaced it...
w00tdude: Let's get OUTTA HERE!
Isiah Zombie: Hey w00tdude, not so fast. There's nothing to worry about. As long as we leave the door open-
*door shuts on its own*
Isiah Zombie: -then we'll be fine... OH MY GAWD! Who closed the door??
Monkeysarefunny: Yo mama!
Isiah Zombie: I'm serious, Monkey!
Monkeysarefunny: Umm, I'm not sure. Maybe it was that ghost we're trying to catch. It probably got mad because we're trying to, you know, catch it.
w00tdude: NO! We need to leave! *runs to door* I'm OUTTA HERE! *turns doorknob* ...NOOO! We're locked in! Now I feel teh suckish
Admiral Donutz: ...I always knew I was going to die if I hung around you guys long enough - I always knew it.
Isiah Zombie: Everybody stay calm! Let's think of a rationale plan here... *tick tock music plays*
Meanwhile, upstairs in the Haunted House...
Dominion Phantom: *appears* The plan is set in motion. We have captured our prey. Let the bloodshed begin. No survivors shall stay.
Vlad Nyx: Yes, indeed Master Dominion. Consider this my finest performance.
Dominion Phantom: Play with them first. Torture them second. Disrupt their minds. Send them to me when your mission is complete.
Vlad Nyx: As you wish, Master Dominion... *vanishes*
5 minutes later, back in the Haunted House lobby...
Isiah Zombie: *tick tock music stops* ...So what do you guys think of my brilliant plan?
Monkeysarefunny: I'll be the first to say: it sucks.
Admiral Donutz: See I don't think so MAF. I thought that plan was pretty good.
w00tdude: Yes! Anything that gets us OUT OF HERE!
Isiah Zombie: Alright, on the count of three. ONE... TWO... THREE-
*window glass breaks*
Vlad Nyx: *appears* Muahahaha!
Isiah Zombie: Who the hell are you??
Vlad Nyx: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Vlad Nyx. I shall be entertaining you fine gentlemen with a live performance known as "Slaughterhouse." You four will be staring in it.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Nice plan IZ, you just summoned a ghost FROM HELL.
Isiah Zombie: Are you the ghost in the "Ghost in a Box" industries brochure?
Vlad Nyx: What is this "Ghost in a Box" you speak of? I know nothing of it.
w00tdude: Please don't hurt me ghost-man! I'll do anything!
Admiral Donutz: *cough* ...Even sell your body?
Vlad Nyx: Please stop speaking. Nothing you can do will stop me. I have been ordered by Master Dominion to slaughter you all. But before I do... let's have a little fun ;D!
*everything gets blurry*
1 Hour later... the trio are lying around the graveyard...
Isiah Zombie: *regains consciousness* ...Woah I feel dizzy...
Admiral Donutz: What just happened? Weren't we in the Haunted House lobby?
Monkeysarefunny: Looks like that Vlad dude used his crazy powers to teleport us out of there.
Isiah Zombie: But... why? And where's w00tdude?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't know... hey check out that tombstone over there.
*the trio walks toward the tombstone*
Isiah Zombie: Hmm... let's see here... *reads* "R.I.P. Larry the Lifeless - Place Your Ad Here."
Monkeysarefunny: That's one way to advertise. But I was referring to the note placed on top of it.
Isiah Zombie: Let's see. It reads, "Good evening, scum. It is I, Vlad Nyx. Your little w00tdude friend is being held captive. If you treasure his life, you will begin to search for him."
Admiral Donutz: Um... just to make sure we're all on the same page, we do treasure w00ty, right?
Isiah Zombie: Ahem, let me finish: "You have one hour to find me some loot or treasure. I will release your little friend when you do. The time is running. Tick. Tock."
Monkeysarefunny: Well... it was nice knowing you, Mutton Butt. Have a nice life!
Isiah Zombie: I think we should start looking for him at the northern end.
Admiral Donutz: Sounds like a plan. Let's move!
Monkeysarefunny: But! BUT! I already said "have a nice life!" ...Awww.
*the trio grab random shovels and begin digging in the northern end*
Isiah Zombie: I can't believe a ghost is blackmailing us to do manual labor, requiring us to dig graves and steal loot.
Admiral Donutz: We should dig a mummy! They're always loaded with loot!
Isiah Zombie: Psh........ mummies are losers. They don't have many friends.
Admiral Donutz: Why don't mummies have any friends?
Monkeysarefunny: Because they're so wrapped up in themselves! Heh heh!
Isiah Zombie: *sigh* ...Keep digging.
Monkeysarefunny: Why? Just because you said? Damn you IZ! Damn you and your dictatorship!
Isiah Zombie: Well at least a dictatorship is better than a dictatorboat.
30 minutes later...
Isiah Zombie: Gah DANGITTY! Our time is almost up! We'll never make the one hour deadline!
Admiral Donutz: The only thing I dug up was an issue of "The Haunted Newspaper." It's an old issue.
Isiah Zombie: Oh, I heard vampires liked to subscribe to that paper. I wonder why...
Monkeysarefunny: It's because they hear it has great circulation! KA-POW!
Admiral Donutz: That joke was, how do you Americans say... "uuugggghhhh."
*Mummy walks near*
Ramesses the Mummy: *stops walking* ...This is awkward. Why are you guys digging up my grave?
Isiah Zombie:
...Eh... we were just looking for a mummy with loot, but we haen't had any luck yet.Ramesses the Mummy: The mummy you're looking for probably walked that way and took the loot with him. HEY DOES ANYONE KNOW IF HE DROPPED ANY GOOD LOOT?
Admiral Donutz: I have a feeling YOU'RE loaded with LOOT!
Ramesses the Mummy: My father King Tut doesn't give me any loot!
Admiral Donutz: Hand over your loot now so we can save our friend! If you don't, I'll beat you with this shovel!
Monkeysarefunny: I like when you get all passionate, Donutz, but... over Mutton Butt? Really?
Admiral Donutz: Yep. C'mon mummy, can you lend us some loot?
Ramesses the Mummy: No! My loot is my loot! Why should I share my loot?
Isiah Zombie: -Because it's good to help people when they need it.
Ramesses the Mummy: No! I don't trust you guys! I can't trust anyone!
Monkeysarefunny: *sigh* ...You see guys? This is why mummies don't have any friends. They're just so WRAPPED UP in THEMSELVES!
Ramesses the Mummy: You're right! I know... What can I do to change? I've been thinking of killing myself lately...
Isiah Zombie: You know, when I was younger, I was sooo obsessed with suicide that it was just killing me.
Ramesses the Mummy: Oh wait a second, I'm a mummy! I'm already dead! I have nothing to lose!
Admiral Donutz: Yeah! So hand us some loot before our time is up!
Ramesses the Mummy: Time? What time?
Monkeysarefunny: Dammit Donutz, can't you say something without saying it?
Admiral Donutz: Mummy man, we have a time limit. Our friend will dissapear forever if we don't get some loot. So let's hurry!
*the trio and mummy walk over to the Haunted House*
Isiah Zombie: Hey! Vlad Nyx! We have our part of the bargain! Now where's yours?
Vlad Nyx: *appears* Muahahaha!
Admiral Donutz: We have a mummy that has a lot of loot. Give back w00ty!
Vlad Nyx: Here he is! Viola!
*w00tdude appears*
w00tdude: Oww... my head hurts.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey Vlad dude, did you like, upgrade him while he was gone?
Vlad Nyx: No, he is the same.
Monkeysarefunny: Dammit! What a waste!
w00tdude: Teh awwwws!
Vlad Nyx: Silence, you two. Now where is my treasure?
Isiah Zombie: Go ahead Ramesses, hand over the loot.
Ramesses the Mummy: Here it is... *pulls out box*
Vlad Nyx: Very good. Now open it.
Ramesses the Mummy: I can't, the ghost will escape.
Isiah Zombie: There's a ghost inside?
Ramesses the Mummy: Yeah. I caught it for the "Ghost in a Box" industries. Cool, huh?
Vlad Nyx: What is this "Ghost in a Box" you speak of?!?
Monkeysarefunny: *takes away box from Ramesses* ....Who cares? Everybody RUNNNN!
*IZ, Monkey, Donutz, w00tdude and Ramesses scatter away*
Vlad Nyx:
....You can run this time, but soon I shall RECIEVE MY VENGEANCE!
