Post by Isiah Zombie on Nov 15, 2008 0:00:44 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
How We Met
Episode: 58
Original Post Date: November 15, 2008
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Isiah Zombie and Monkeysarefunny are at IZ's House one day...
Isiah Zombie: Hey Monkey, do you remember how we first met? You know, back in the day?
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, yeah... good times. Happy memory-o-rama.
Isiah Zombie: I'm thinking of writing a book about all our memories. That's a good idea, huh?
Monkeysarefunny: Sounds gay, just like you. What are you gonna call it?
Isiah Zombie: Ummm, how about "deep thoughts?" Or, "fuzzy memories?"
Monkeysarefunny: Will our memories be the only ones in it?
Isiah Zombie: Well, yeah. I don't think we should put Donutz's memories in. Remember he had a horrible past?
Monkeysarefunny: No I didn't. What happened
?Isiah Zombie: He was brutally forced as a child to learn Stepmania dance moves by his mom. He says it was too hard.
Monkeysarefunny: It was the spins, man! Way too many spins!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah I know. Anyways, the memory book should just be about us... *grabs pen* ...Now let me remember how we met.
Monkeysarefunny: I'll tell you all about it. You were in a cage at a circus in L.A.-
Isiah Zombie: -No. I'll tell the story.
Monkeysarefunny: Dagnabbit!
Isiah Zombie: It was many years ago, and yes, in a circus in L.A...
*everything gets blurry*
Many years ago... at a circus, Isiah Zombie, Steven and MDiddy are walking around the many attractions...
Isiah Zombie: (with mullet) This circus is gnarly, dude!
Mdiddy: (wearing parachute pants) I told you you'd like it.
Steven: (thick glasses) These are the good times, mate!
Isiah Zombie: So what's next? Are we gonna see the giant-tattooed-fire-breathing-sword-eating-freak of nature?
Mdiddy: Don't worry, we'll get to that. I want to show you the weirdest thing you've ever seen.
Isiah Zombie: Lobster girl
?Mdiddy: No, we're about to see-
Isiah Zombie: -Pickled Punk?
Mdiddy: No, no. We'll see-
Isiah Zombie: -Miniature elephant man?
Mdiddy: Will you let me speak?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, mister parachute pants.
Mdiddy: Hey, don't make fun of my pants. You wouldn't like it if I made fun of your hair.
Steven: Indeed - please spare us of your water works, IZ.
Isiah Zombie: Didster, if you were to wear parachute pants and jump off a plane.... would you still land safely?
Mdiddy: Shut-it-uppy!
Isiah Zombie: Haha! That's funny! I should start saying that from now on!
Mdiddy: Listen, do you want me to show you the craziest thing you've ever seen or what?
Isiah Zombie: Yes, yes I do. Besides, I have to get home quickly.
Steven: Just as usual.
Mdiddy: Why? Is it almost past your bedtime?
Isiah Zombie: No
!Mdiddy: Is it almost past your lifetime?
Isiah Zombie: Yes...
Isiah Zombie, Mdiddy, and Steven walk over to a cage...
Mdiddy: There, you see those "medical experiment brothers?"
Isiah Zombie: Yeah.
Mdiddy: Pretty crazy, huh?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah...?
Mdiddy: That's the craziest thing you'll ever see!
Steven: Unless you go to the circus in the North Pole, mate.
Isiah Zombie: What's in the North Pole?
Steven: There is a man there who is soooo white, that I've gone and nicknamed him "polar paste."
Isiah Zombie: I see. I forgot that you liked to travel around the world.
Steven: Yes I do, chum.
Isiah Zombie: Why?
Steven: Because I have lots of money! ZING! ZING! I coined the phrase "polar paste"! I coined the phrase in MAH ZING ZING BANK!
The circus manager opens the cage and throws a monkey inside...
Monkey: Hey
! Get me outta here!Hazel Nutt: I am your manager - you must obey what I say! Stay in the cage and entertain these people!
Monkey: Hell no!
Hazel Nutt: I'll show you the SCARY ASS CLOWN if you don't do as I say!
Monkey: Oh dear God no! Not the CLOWN aagin!
Hazel Nutt: Then entertain!
Monkey: Y-Yes ma'am...
Hazel Nutt: Good! *looks at trio* ...Hi
! We have this circus monkey on display! He can do all sorts of tricks!Isiah Zombie: You call him "Monkey?" Why? Doesn't he have a name?
Hazel Nutt: Monkey IS his name, and also, the fact that he rides around in a tricycle doesn't help either.
Steven: So... he can do all sorts of tricks, you say?
Hazel Nutt: Yes! Tell him to do something and he'll do it!
Mdiddy: Dance, Monkey man! Dance!
Monkey: *does circus limbo* .....
Isiah Zombie: I really don't like the way you're treating Monkey, miss-?
Hazle Nutt: Nutt. My name is Miss Nutt.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, Miss Nutt. You're humiliating Monkey and I think you should stop that.
Hazel Nutt: What? Are you feeling sorry for the little circus clown? He's not a human being! If you want to do something about it - then do something about it
!Isiah Zombie: It doesn't matter if he's not a human being.... C-Can I adopt him....?
Hazel Nutt: Do you have the money?
Isiah Zombie: Umm.... *looks at Steven* ....you have lots of money, right?
Steven: Oh no. Please. No. Oh... no. You can't ask me to lend you money to buy a monkey! If you do, then... I'll... I'll leave to Britain and never come back!
Mdiddy: Yes you'll come back. You always do.
Isiah Zombie: So whadaya say, Steven? Pleeeeease? *puppy dog eyes*
Steven: ...
*everything gets blurry*
Isiah Zombie: So yeah, I adopted you from the circus with my buddy Steven's money, and then you came to live with me ever since.
Monkeysarefunny: If that's true, then how come Steven and MDiddy don't remember me? And why don't I remember them?
Isiah Zombie: Heck, it was a loooong time ago... not everything I said was the exactly the way it happened.
Monkeysarefunny: Hmm... maybe you should call your book "fuzzy memories" ...because you don't remember a damn thing!
Isiah Zombie: What do you mean?
Monkeysarefunny: That's not what happened at all! Let me tell you-
*everything gets blurry*
Many years ago... at a circus, Monkeysarefunny, BigBoss and w00tdude are walking around the many attractions...
Monkeysarefunny: (with Mohawk) This place is wicked awesome, dude!
BigBoss: (high-school jacket) I told you you'd like it.
w00tdude: (5-years-old) Goo-goo Gajoob
!Monkeysarefunny: My dear departed uncle was a circus clown before he died... so this brings back a lot a good memories.
BigBoss: Your grandpa was a circus clown??
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, I remember all his friends came to his funeral in one car.
BigBoss: Grandpa. Cool. Yours. Is.
Monkeysarefunny: Umm, so, what's next?
BigBoss: I heard they have some sorta zombie guy in a cage. Wanna see him?
Monkeysarefunny: Do I
w00tdude: Do you? Hee hee!
Monkeysarefunny: SHUT UP Mutton Butt!
w00tdude: Teh awwws!
Monkey, BigBoss, and w00tdude walk over to a cage...
Monkeysarefunny: Okay... So where's the zombie guy? All I see is a Lobster Girl, a Pickled Punk, and a miniature elephant man.
BigBoss: Don't worry, he'll be here.
w00tdude: Look! Look! SCARY MAN!
The circus manager opens the cage and shoves a zombie inside...
Isiah Zombie: Hey
! Get me outta here!Rick O'Shea: I am your MANAGER
! YOU DO I SAY - SCUM!Isiah Zombie: You don't scare me! I'm already dead!
Rick O'Shea: I'll kill you again then! Would you like that, huh maggot?
Isiah Zombie: No... not again...
Rick O'Shea: Good
! *looks at trio* ...Hello !Monkeysarefunny: Is that "thing" a real zombie?
Rick O'Shea: Yes, it's as real as it gets!
Monkeysarefunny: Hey since he's already dead, what's his opinion on death?
Rick O'Shea: Oh he loves it. He just can't get enough of it.
Isiah Zombie: That's a lie. I don't really like dying-
Rick O'Shea: Stay in your cage and SHUT UP
!BigBoss: Don't you think you're treating that zombie kinda poorly?
Rick O'Shea: Excuse me? This zombie can do all sorts of tricks. Just tell him to do something and he'll do it!
Monkeysarefunny: Do a big city dance, you crazy zombie freak!
Isiah Zombie: *does big city dance* .....
BigBoss: You know manager-person, you should really stop yelling at him and stuff...
Rick O'Shea: And why should I stop that, huh maggot?
Monkeysarefunny: *looks at BB* Yeah? Why should he stop that, huh maggot?
BigBoss: ...Because it's morally wrong to deprive him as a human being and to humiliate him in front of a bunch of people.
Rick O'Shea: Look at him! He's not a human being!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah BB! He's not a human being!
BigBoss: Umm... Monkey? Neither are you.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah.... *looks at manager* ...Hey why do you keep treating this zombie with disrespect, mister-?
Rick O'Shea: O'Shea. My name is Mister O'Shea.
Monkeysarefunny: -Mister "Oh ****"?
w00tdude: Hahahahahahahah! You funneh!
Monkeysarefunny: SHUT UP Mutton Butt!
w00tdude: Now I feel teh suckish
Monkeysarefunny: Okay, you know what, mister "Oh ****," you better hand that zombie over now before I lay the smackdown hammer on YO ASS!
Rick O'Shea: What was that?
Monkeysarefunny: I'm gonna make a circus clown out of YOU!
Rick O'Shea: You want a fight then? Alright monkey boy, if you want a fight, then it's a fight you'll get!
*everything gets blurry*
Monkeysarefunny: So yeah, I started a fight with mister "Oh ****" and I kicked his ass so hard that he just had to hand you over to me. You've lived with me ever since... *leans back in chair*
Isiah Zombie: That's not even remotely close to what happened.
Monkeysarefunny: How so?
Isiah Zombie: Well for starters, you didn't know BB before I did; I've never been in a cage a circus, and as far as I can remember, you never stood up for me in a fight. EVER.
Monkeysarefunny: Wrong, wrong, and very "OMG I am SO" wrong.
Isiah Zombie: Dammit Monkey! I want to write an accurate book about our memories! The first chapter has to be about how we met! Okay now, let me think here... *grabs pen*
Monkeysarefunny: You are the dumiest guy I've ever known.
Isiah Zombie: Shut up! I need to concentrate.
Monkeysarefunny: Hey pot! Meet the kettle!
Isiah Zombie: *sigh* ...Don't you hate how the person who knows the least about happened also happens to be the loudest person?
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, yeah... so what do you want me to do?
Isiah Zombie: Go watch the Flintstones or something. I need to sit down and concentrate.
Monkeysarefunny: That plan sounds Yaba-Daba Delightful!
Isiah Zombie: Oh geez...
Monkeysarefunny: Dis is where dis and dat happen, an den Badda-Bing Badda-Boom, here we are.
Isiah Zombie: Screw this memory book! I'm outta here!
Monkeysarefunny: Good...... books suck.
Isiah Zombie: Shut-it-uppy! *walks away*
Monkeysarefunny: (to self) Yeah, is it my computer, or was it a nice, mellow, blue layout for a week or two?
