Post by Isiah Zombie on Dec 27, 2008 12:38:24 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
New Year's Yet Again
Episode: 64
Original Post Date: December 27, 2008
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On New Year's Eve, Isiah Zombie, Monkey, Donutz and BigBoss are at IZ's House...
Isiah Zombie: Finally! Tomorrow is the beginning of a brand new year!
Admiral Donutz: Whoo! Anybody got any resolutions for next year?
Monkeysarefunny: I sure do. Starting tomorrow, I promise to only insult IZ when he deserves it.
BigBoss: Which will be every day, right?
Monkeysarefunny: As usual, huh?
BigBoss: Yeah! SLAP IT HIGH!
Isiah Zombie: No BB! No slapping it high! You've slapped it high at my expense for the last time! My New Year's resolution next year is to stop being the butt of the practical jokes around here!
Monkeysarefunny: Awww, it's standing up for itself. How adorable.
Isiah Zombie: Be quiet, Monkey. We're missing some things for our New Year's party tonight. I command you and BB to go out and buy the supplies. NOW!
BigBoss: What? Why us? You're the one who-
Isiah Zombie: -I SAID I COMMAND YOU NOW! You too Monkey!
Monkeysarefunny: B-But it's snowing outside...
Isiah Zombie: This is LA. It never snows here.
Admiral Donutz: Hey wait a minute. If it never snows here, then why does the snowman outside have a smile on his face?
Monkeysarefunny: Because the snowblower was coming down the block. KA-POW!
Admiral Donutz: ...
Monkeysarefunny: Get it? Snow-blower?
Admiral Donutz: Yeah I got it. So... IZ, it's kinda late so what are we having for breakfast?
Isiah Zombie: Let's eat whatever snowmen eat. Hey does anyone know what snowmen eat?
Monkeysarefunny: Frosted Flakes! KA-POW!
Isiah Zombie: ...
Monkeysarefunny: Get it? Frosted-flakes?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah, I got it. So... BB, you seem kinda lonely ever since you came here to LA. Do you plan on getting a girlfriend?
BigBoss: Psh... the girls here are so different from the east coast. It's like comparing snowmen from snow-ladies. Hey does anyone know what the difference is between snowmen and snow-ladies?
Monkeysarefunny: Snowballs! KA-POW!
BigBoss: ...
Monkeysarefunny: Get it? Snow-balls?
BigBoss: Yeah I got it.
Isiah Zombie: So, umm....... what's going on here?
BigBoss: Gay stuff, I'm outta here.
Later that day, at the mall...
Monkeysarefunny: I can't believe IZ "commanded" us to buy New Year's Eve party supplies.
BigBoss: I know, especially on New Year's Eve. Why do you always wait for the last minute to do things?
Monkeysarefunny: I don't know. I'm kooky that way. So what do we need?
BigBoss: According to this list that IZ gave us, we need to buy a TNT-silicon-firework, a couple of party strobe lights, and a barrel of confetti.
Monkeysarefunny: *looking somewhere else* ...
BigBoss: Hey Monkey? Are you listening to me?
Monkeysarefunny: ...
BigBoss:
Dammit boy! Look at me when I'm talking to you!Monkeysarefunny: *looks back at BB* Huh? Oh, yeah, I just got distracted by that magician store across the mall. Can I go? Can I? I'll be good! I'll be real good!
BigBoss: What about this stuff we need to buy?
Monkeysarefunny: Screw it. You saw the way IZ snapped at us earlier, right? It was insulting! He doesn't deserve anymore respect from me after that!
BigBoss: ...You never gave him any respect.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh heh.... yeah. But this is not only great for me; you can go into any shop you want too!
BigBoss: Hmm... so I can either buy the party supplies, or I can bail on the friend who's given me food and shelter when I needed it most.
Monkeysarefunny: ...Well if you look at it THAT way...
BigBoss: Let's bail.
Monkeysarefunny: Gotcha.
Meanwhile, back at IZ's House...
Isiah Zombie: Good, Monkey and BB are gone. The coast is clear.
Admiral Donutz: You wanted them gone?
Isiah Zombie: Yes. You see, for the past year, Monkey and BB have been Slappin'-it-high and Ka-pow-ing me so much that now it's MY turn to Slap-it-high back at them! Time to Slap-it-very-high
!Admiral Donutz: What do you plan on doing?
Isiah Zombie: Oh, just a prank. It's the prank of ALL pranks.
Admiral Donutz: Which is...?
Isiah Zombie: Well it begins with that list I gave them.
Admiral Donutz: They're supposed to buy stuff?
Isiah Zombie: Well, yes, they're supposed to buy stuff, but knowing them, they're just going to get lazy and not buy anything.
Admiral Donutz: Is that part of the plan?
Isiah Zombie: Oh yeah. I sent them to the mall where there's a magician store. Knowing Monkey, it's just a matter of time before he walks in there and enters "stage two" of my devious plan...
5 minutes later, back at the mall, in the magicians store...
Monkeysarefunny: *walks in* Hey clerk person! You got a customer!
Houdin Copperfield: *appears in a puff of smoke* ...AHA! I startled you, didn't I?
Monkeysarefunny: Not at all.
Houdin Copperfield: Yes, I surprise everyone. I tend to have that effect on the ladies, especially. So what can I do you for? Looking for a deck of cards? Or could I interest you in a top hat and cape?
Monkeysarefunny: Got anything else good in here?
Houdin Copperfield: Oh yes. I have spoons.
Monkeysarefunny: You mean, the levitating kind?
Houdin Copperfield: Of course I mean the levitating kind. I'm not here to serve any soup. It's just your luck too! I have the last pair in stock!
Monkeysarefunny: Sweet. What'll it cost me?
Houdin Copperfield: YOUR LIFE! ...AHA! I scared you, didn't I?
Monkeysarefunny: Not even close.
Houdin Copperfield: Listen, nothing in this shop is on sale. You have to earn my products. It's my policy.
Monkeysarefunny: I have to earn your products? What kind of crazy place are you running here? I just want some levitating spoons.
Houdin Copperfield: To earn the spoons... you must... *seductively takes off cape*
Monkeysarefunny: WHOA
! What are you doing?Houdin Copperfield: It gets difficult to move around in a cape, understand?
Monkeysarefunny: Oh okay, you scared me.
Houdin Copperfield: ...AHA! I scared you, didn't I?
Monkeysarefunny: A little, yeah. Just don't do any gay stuff.
Houdin Copperfield: Alright. To earn the spoons... you must... *unzips pants*
Monkeysarefunny: WHOOOOOAAAA
! Houdin Copperfield: It gets difficult to move around in pants, understand?
Monkeysarefunny: Don't you dare unzip your pants, magic-wand boy! *roundhouse kicks Houdin*
Houdin Copperfield: *flies and crashes against wall* ...OWWW! What's the matter? Don't you want to find out where the bunny comes out from?
Monkeysarefunny: NO! *SMACK!*
Houdin Copperfield: Ow! Don't hurt me! You have to earn the spoons!
Monkeysarefunny: *SMACK!* There! I EARNED THE SPOONS! If you ever try to pull a stunt on me like that again, I'll make sure to slice you in half! Got that? .....GOOD. *walks out*
Houdin Copperfield: ...The plan did not go as planned...
Meanwhile, back at IZ's House...
Admiral Donutz: So what exactly is supposed to happen at the magician's shop with MAF?
Isiah Zombie: Well, I talked to the Magician and told him to take off his pants in front of Monkey.
Admiral Donutz:
Isiah Zombie: Heh heh, for payback. That'll freak out Monkey so much that he'll come back to this house and ask for my forgiveness.
Admiral Donutz: ...That seems a bit outlandish.
Isiah Zombie: Even so, at least my plan for BB will work. Remember that comment I made to him about not having a girlfriend since arriving in LA? Well... things are about to change... for the worse
!5 minutes later, back at the mall...
BigBoss: (to self) Wow, this mall sucks so much. I should probably just head home-
Pearl E. White: (girl) -Hey you!
BigBoss: ...Me?
Pearl E. White: Yes! Do you want some?
BigBoss: Some what?
Pearl E. White: *points to self* ...Some of me! What's your ASL?
BigBoss: Age: legal. Sex: yes please. Location: wherever you want me to be.
Pearl E. White: Cool, so what are you doing all alone here on New Year's Eve?
BigBoss: Oh I left my girlfriend Wendy back in the east coast.
Pearl E. White: Was she the only girl you've ever had?
BigBoss: Hell no. I've slept with one and a half girls before her.
Pearl E. White: Half...? You mean, one was a midget? Actually, don't answer that. Before you can have me, you have to tell me three facts about yourself.
BigBoss: Alright. One -- I want a girl who's ridiculously horny all the time. Two -- I am ridiculously horny all the time. That is all you need to know. Your turn.
Pearl E. White: One -- I have herpes. Two-
BigBoss: -WHOOOOOAAAA
! Pearl E. White: What's the matter?
BigBoss: Sorry, I have to go now. Me and the most beautiful girl are going out tonight.
Pearl E. White: ...Me
?BigBoss: We can take you too if you want.
Pearl E. White:
Are you cheating on me? Who is SHE?BigBoss: She's my girlfriend, Wendy.
Pearl E. White: She's who??
BigBoss: She's the girl I've been banging behind your back, alright?
Pearl E. White: You've been banging her from the back?? Since when do you cheat on me with your girlfriend?
BigBoss: Since, umm.... uh... This got real dumb, real fast... I'm outta here...
Pearl E. White: Wait! Don't leave yet! If you do, Isiah won't pay me! He told me to tell you that!
BigBoss: What? IZ paid you to mess with me? Oh he's gonna get it
!Meanwhile, back at IZ's House...
Admiral Donutz: So what exactly is supposed to happen at the mall with BB?
Isiah Zombie: Well, I talked to some girl and told her to say that she had herpes.
Admiral Donutz:
Isiah Zombie: Heh heh, for payback. That'll freak out BB so much that he'll come back to this house and ask for my forgiveness.
Admiral Donutz: ...That seems even more outlandish.
Isiah Zombie: Maybe, but at least I'll finally get my revenge. This is the pranks of ALL pranks! BOO-CHACKA!
Admiral Donutz: Meh... I don't think it'll work... *eats Frosted Flakes* ...Omnomnomnomnom.
Later that night, just outside IZ's front door...
Monkeysarefunny: So the whole magician thing was just a prank set up by IZ?
BigBoss: Yep, now it's our time to get back at IZ. I'm going to go after him like a vampire!
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, that'll teach him not mess with us.
BigBoss: Hey do you know what you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Monkeysarefunny: Frostbite! KA-POW!
BigBoss: ...
Monkeysarefunny: Get it? Frost-bite?
BigBoss: Yeah, I got it. Alright, let's GET HIM!
*BigBoss and Monkey burst inside*
Isiah Zombie: Oh hey guys, you're back. Monkey, I see you're holding some spoons. Are those the levitating kind?
Monkeysarefunny: Of course they're the levitating kind! I'm not here to eat soup!
BigBoss: We both know all about your little plan, IZ!
Isiah Zombie: You.... you do?
BigBoss: Yes! Now it's our time to deal out the PAIN! We command YOU to buy the New Year's supplies!
Isiah Zombie: What? Why me? You're the one who-
BigBoss: -I SAID I COMMAND YOU NOW!
Admiral Donutz: HAH! Was this part of your plan too, IZ?
Isiah Zombie: Hmm... I overlooked this. It seems I'll never get the upper hand with these guys...
BigBoss: You better start running before I whoop your ass like I did on Christmas!
Monkeysarefunny: Wait, you whooped IZ's ass on Christmas? Now that's the holiday spirit! All I got was this lame Santa Claus tattoo...
Isiah Zombie: Looks like the following year will be more of the same old, same old, once more, yet again.
