Post by Isiah Zombie on Jan 31, 2009 10:57:56 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Sudden Celebrity
Episode: 69
Original Post Date: January 31, 2009
__________________________________________
Isiah Zombie and Monkeysarefunny are at IZ's House one morning...
Isiah Zombie: Alright, let's see what's on TV today... *click*
Television: Hello, this is a message from Bill Cosby, reminding you that rappers and their hippin' and hoppin' and a bippin' and a boppin', don't know what the jazz is all about, you see?
Isiah Zombie: Huh... and here I was listening to jazz, thinking it was really good...
Monkeysarefunny: Are you serious?
Isiah Zombie: I'm dead serious.
Monkeysarefunny: So anyway, I was planning on getting myself a new car, mainly because the one you have is always broken.
Isiah Zombie: Yeah...
...thanks to you.Monkeysarefunny: But I'm kinda low on cash. Got any ideas on how to rake in the green?
Isiah Zombie: Just start doing that thing you're always talking about.
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, you mean "Donutz for Dough"? Yeah... I don't think Donutz will like the idea of him and two gay guys making pizzas together.
Isiah Zombie: No, I meant that movie-star goal you're always talking about.
Monkeysarefunny: Naw, in not in the mood for being famous right now.
Isiah Zombie: Then maybe I should become a famous star instead of you.
Monkeysarefunny: But you can't.
Isiah Zombie: Why not?
Monkeysarefunny: Because I have more talent than you, and shame on you for making me say it!
Isiah Zombie: Well if you have the talent, then make the money!
Monkeysarefunny: But I don't wanna!
Isiah Zombie: I COMMAND YOU!
Monkeysarefunny: No! You are not my God!
Isiah Zombie: Yes! I am your God!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh God............
Isiah Zombie: ...Yes?
*Donutz walks in*
Admiral Donutz: Well guys, it's official: I'll be moving out to live with Helen next week, just like I told you.
Monkeysarefunny: What the F? When did you mention this?
Admiral Donutz: I told you guys months ago. Doesn't anyone listen to me around here?
Isiah Zombie: I'll be honest -- I'm selective.
Admiral Donutz: There's only one problem with me moving out though. It costs about $15,000 for a down-payment in the new apartment.
Monkeysarefunny: 15,000 bananas?? That's a lotta clams!
Admiral Donutz: I know. I told Helen I have the money, but... the truth is I'm nowhere near that level of rich. I just don't know what I will do...
Isiah Zombie: *looks at Monkey* ...Hmm, I WONDER what we could do to make some MONEY around here... the solution is probably something that we JUST discussed... something that's famous-star related, remember??
Monkeysarefunny: Um........ "Donutz for Dough?" Do we dare
!Isiah Zombie:
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, sorry.
20 minutes later, at the "Pwn Shop"...
Admiral Donutz: *walks in* ...Hello.
Lu Zer McPhail: Sup. Can I help you?
Admiral Donutz: This is a pawn shop, right?
Lu Zer McPhail: Yeah, it isn't called the "Pwn Shop" for nothing.
Admiral Donutz: I need about $15,000... how much do you think this vase is worth? *pulls out vase from bag*
Lu Zer McPhail: Judging by the poorly-made flower design, the broken handle, and the discoloration, I can say that this vase is worth a grand total of... $15,000!
Admiral Donutz: Wow, really?? This vase is worth a lot of money! Whoo-yeah!
Lu Zer McPhail: Notice how that's impossible.
Admiral Donutz: What do you mean?
Lu Zer McPhail: Nothing that hideous could ever be worth anything.
Admiral Donutz: How dare you! Shut up you loser!
Lu Zer McPhail: That's my name -- don't wear it out.
Admiral Donutz: You know what? I'm leaving!
Lu Zer McPhail: Hold up. What makes you say it's expensive? I mean, just look at it. All I can say is YUCK!
Admiral Donutz: Did I ask you? This is an antique vase that holds a lot of tradition and value.... At least I think so, because I paid a lot of money for it........ on eBay....
Lu Zer McPhail: The vase is actually worth 15 cents.
Admiral Donutz: WHAT?!? Fifteen cents?? Nooo! .....It's supposed to be an expensive vase that will pay for my down-payment on my new apartment!
Lu Zer McPhail: Wait, wait, I was just kidding. That vase is actually worth $15,000, just like you expected.
Admiral Donutz: Wow.... really?? Then how come you told me it was worth only 15 cents?
Lu Zer McPhail: Because at the Pwn Shop, we PWN you! HAHA!
Admiral Donutz: Ooooh.... HAH! GOOD ONE! You got me
!Lu Zer McPhail: No but seriously, it's only worth 15 cents.
Admiral Donutz: ...
Later that day, on the set of the movie "Origin of Revelations"...
Isiah Zombie: You got hired to play a part in a movie in one day? That's pretty impressive.
Monkeysarefunny: This is utter crap! I can do better than just being some lame extra!
Isiah Zombie: Look at it this way: you're so good that you have to be considered an extra from the usual pile of generic crap.
Monkeysarefunny: Don't try to fool me. I'm so good that I've never been booed off the stage. That's how good I am.
Isiah Zombie: That's because it's hard to boo and yawn at the same time.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah well maybe you should just shut the hell........ AWMG! LOOK WHO'S HERE! It's my favorite actress of all time! It's... Julia Darwin! And boy is she hot
! I can't believe I'm on the same set as her! And in the same movie! This is gonna be awesome!Isiah Zombie: And she's walking over here, nice.
Monkeysarefunny: HOLY ****! What do I do
? Tell me IZ -- WHAT DO I DO??Isiah Zombie: Hold your breathe and don't crap yourself, for starters.
Monkeysarefunny: She's heading right towards me! Umm... if she asks who I am.... just say.... say that I'm rich, and very powerful. And super sexy! Yeah! Say it!
Isiah Zombie: I think the world is ready for something with some balls behind it.
Monkeysarefunny: ... *gulp*
Julia Darwin: *approaches* ...Oh hey, you must be that extra we've been needing around here.
Monkeysarefunny: *cough*
Julia Darwin: You are the extra, right?
Monkeysarefunny: *cough*
Julia Darwin: Is that a banana in your tailpipe or are you just happy to see me?
Monkeysarefunny: *cough*
Julia Darwin: Oh, well, never mind then... *walks away*
Isiah Zombie: Wow, I think you need to get that cough checked Monkey, it doesn't sound so good.
Monkeysarefunny: What the hell man
!! You didn't help me at all!Isiah Zombie: Eeeeeexactly.
Monkeysarefunny: Didn't you hear me say what YOU were supposed to say?
Isiah Zombie: If you tell me to do something, and I don't listen, do you still make a sound?
Monkeysarefunny: I think a better question is: if Julia Darwin is naked but no one is around to see it, do I still get aroused?
Speaker Voice Announcer: *kzrk* Your break is up. Filming resumes in 2 minutes. Get into position. DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! AHHHH! *kzrk*
Isiah Zombie: Alright Monkey, this is it. Time for you to finally be in a real movie. How do you feel?
Monkeysarefunny: Like banging the living crap out of Julia Darwin, duh... *walks to position*
As the filming begins, all cameras are pointed to Julia Darwin and the famous Tom Hanks Jr. on set as they read their lines and perform their scenes...
Julia Darwin: "Tom, I hope you've seen the light, 'cause no one really cares. They're just pretending."
Tom Hanks Jr.: "Yes, I know. I won't stand in your way, let your hatred grow."
Julia Darwin: "You just need to link it to the world, link it to yourself."
Tom Hanks Jr.: "I'm trying, but you're something beautiful, a contradiction."
Julia Darwin: "Oh they're here! Quick! Break out! It's your last chance to lose control!"
Tom Hanks Jr.: "Ah! I can't! It scares the hell out of me and the end is all I can see!"
Director Rockhammer: ......CUT CUT CUT! ....I'm just not feeling it. I hear the scripts, but I don't feel the characters...
Julia Darwin: So.... what do you suggest we do?
Director Rockhammer: One of you has to go.
Tom Hanks Jr.: Seeing as the whole movie revolves around me, and I happen to be the better actor here, I'm sorry to say this Julia, but.... GO AND HIT THE BRICKS!
Julia Darwin: You do realize I'm 10 times more famous than you, right?
Director Rockhammer: Yes, that's true. Sorry Hanks Jr., but I'm the one who makes the decisions around here. Maybe you should work as the lead role on the new comedy, "Dismember the Titans." ...NOW YOU GO HIT THE BRICKS!
Tom Hanks Jr.: Well you know what? Maybe I will take the lead role in that movie! I'll become the next famous star! You all believe me, right?
Director Rockhammer: Yes, we believe.... that you will fail. Now scram!
Tom Hanks Jr.: Psh...... What a creamsicle... *walks out*
Julia Darwin: Well that solves that problem, but who will replace him?
Director Rockhammer: I don't know yet. At this point, anyone can out-perform Tom Hank Jr. ...Hey didn't we hire some extra today?
Julia Darwin: I think so.
Director Rockhammer: Good. Let's throw him in and see how he does!
10 minutes later, Monkey is on the set with Julia Darwin...
Director Rockhammer: Alright everyone! Let's do scene 2! Lights, camera, action!
Julia Darwin: "What time is it? All I see are glaciers melting in the dead of night."
Monkeysarefunny: "The time doesn't matter. I am waiting patiently, I'll wait for a sign."
Julia Darwin: "I admire how you're staying awake to chase a dream, tasting the air you're breathing in. I hope I won't forget a thing."
Monkeysarefunny: "Now it's time for changing, and cleansing everything, to forget your love."
Julia Darwin: "What do you mean? The time has come to make things right... you and I must fight for our rights... you and I must fight to survive."
Monkeysarefunny: "I can't do a thing. It's all up to you. You've got to be the best, you've got to change the world, and use this chance to be... heard... your time... is... NOW!"
Director Rockhammer: -And scene! ...Wow... *sniff* ....That was beautiful. A truly magnificent Oscar-worthy performance! I hire you as the lead role in "Origin of Revelations"!
Monkeysarefunny: Sweet!
Director Rockhammer: Here's your check for the first day! *hands over check* It's your entire salary at $30,000! Be back tomorrow bright and early!
Monkeysarefunny: Alright! I will!
Later that night... back at IZ's House...
Isiah Zombie: Well it's official: you're gonna be a celebrity in a movie with a famous hot actress. That's just great.
Monkeysarefunny: There's a sex scene in the movie too! Hell yeah!
Isiah Zombie: How come you always get the upper hand in situations like these?
Monkeysarefunny: Because I reserve the backhand for comments like that! *SMACK!*
Isiah Zombie: Oww....
Admiral Donutz: *walks in* ...Well, I went everywhere and no one wants to buy my vase. I don't know what to tell Helen anymore...
Isiah Zombie: *looks at Monkey* ...Hmm, I WONDER what you should do to help Donutz here... the solution is probably in something that we JUST came back from, remember??
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, oh yeah! Look here, Donutz, I got a check for $30,000. How much was your apartment thing?
Admiral Donutz: About $15,000.
Monkeysarefunny: B-But that's half of my check...
Isiah Zombie:
Monkeysarefunny: ...Which I will gladly give to you since I'll be making a lot more money anyway!
Isiah Zombie:
Admiral Donutz: So I can have half your check?
Monkeysarefunny: Sure buddy, here you go
! *hands over check*Admiral Donutz: Whoo-yeah! I get to have half the check! Thanks MAF! Well...... here goes! *rips the check in half*
Isiah Zombie:
Monkeysarefunny: What the hell did you do that for
??Admiral Donutz: You said I could have half your check! So I ripped off my half!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh......... oh God.
Isiah Zombie: ...Yes?
Monkeysarefunny: Donutz, you do realize you have to pay me back, right??
Admiral Donutz: Awwww man! I don't have any money right now! I'm flat out broke! I'm nowhere near that level of rich!
Monkeysarefunny: Well... how would you feel working with the idea of "Donutz for Dough"?
Admiral Donutz: It's official: my new nickname should be Donutz McPhail
