Post by Isiah Zombie on Feb 21, 2009 13:02:55 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Hip-Hop Savior (Part 2 of 2)
Episode: 72
Original Post Date: February 21, 2009
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Upon being possessed by Dominion Phantom, Monkey plans on shooting Julia Darwin with a lighting blast...
Monkeysarefunny: "Now it is time to eliminate the renowned star! To leave her plastered on a wall! The remains that all will see! The result that will cause a worldwide brawl!" *charges up blue lightning strike* "The DEATH OF ONE IS THE DEATH OF ALL!!" *shoots blue lightning at Julia*
Julia Darwin: NOOOOOOO!
Rashidi: *runs in* Don't worry! I'll save you! *dives in front*
*KA-BLAST!!*
Rashidi: *POW!* ...Oww...
Isiah Zombie: (filming) What a sudden turn of events!
Director Rockhammer: Yes! This is the way the movie should be!
Julia Darwin: What just happened?
Monkeysarefunny: (sky blue eyes) "Your victory will be short lived. The plan is already in motion. No further actions can halt Earth's destruction. Your only choice is devoted devotion."
*Dominion unposseses Monkey* ... *KA-POWZESS!* ... *Dominion vanishes*
Monkeysarefunny: Whoa.... I feel like I just ate a real bad burrito...
Rashidi: (lying on floor) OWW...
Julia Darwin: Are you okay? That electric shock looks like it really hurt you-
Rashidi: -LISTEN! I came to America because I plan on becoming a rapper. I'm shooting my first solo rap album in this studio. Something like yo, yo, uh, yeah, uh, yo, check it, yo... *cough* ...I always wear a bulletproof vest and I'm ready for anything...
Isiah Zombie: Oh, so that's why Rashidi was here in the first place -- he was going to shoot his first solo rap album. Oh, and that's how he survived the lightning strike -- he always wears a bullet proof vest and he's ready for anything.
Monkeysarefunny: Aww, I missed all that?
Isiah Zombie: ...Kinda, yeah.
Julia Darwin: We need to get the man who saved my life to the hospital right now!
Director Rockhammer: Wait... this is not part of the movie?
Julia Darwin: GO GET MEDICS NOW
!Director Rockhammer: Oh, yes, yes, of course, Julia... *runs out*
Monkeysarefunny: S-So, Julia... are we still on for tonight?
Julia Darwin: (turns to Rashidi) ...Tell me, what's your name?
Rashidi: Good evening, patron... *cough cough* ...My name is Rashidi, I come from Zimbabwe... *cough cough, puppy dog eyes* ...Where shall I transport you this morning? *sniff*
Julia Darwin: Awwww! He's probably still in shock! *holds Rashidi's hand* ...Don't worry, I'll stay by your side!
Monkeysarefunny: Damn IZ, this is completely ****ed up. You're telling me I'm going to lose Julia over this cab driver? Over this... this CABBIE?
Isiah Zombie: Cabbin' 'Shiddi, heh.
Monkeysarefunny: Well... there's no point in hanging around here anymore. Wanna go get some ice cream?
Isiah Zombie: What about Donutz? Where is he?
NOOOOO!
Isiah Zombie: Monkey, did you hear that?
Monkeysarefunny: No.
Isiah Zombie: How could you not have heard that? It was a loud "NO!"
Monkeysarefunny: I know. That's what I said. I heard "no."
Isiah Zombie: Alright! Let's go investigate! Let's move!
Isiah Zombie and Monkeysarefunny run to where the loud scream was heard...
Admiral Donutz: (standing in terror) ...
Isiah Zombie: *approaches* ...Hey, Donutz. What are you doing here all by yourself? Were you the one who shouted just now?
Admiral Donutz: I... I was just watching Helen dance elegantly behind the curtain... I was watching her lovely silhouette sway from side to side... she was dancing to that old record...
Monkeysarefunny: Well everything seems to be fine here. Let's just all go back and-
Admiral Donutz: -NO! EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE!
LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN!Isiah Zombie: I really don't think I want to, but if you insist... *pulls back curtain* ...OH MY GOD!
Monkeysarefunny: Holy ****! Who... who do you think could've done this?
Admiral Donutz: Who could have done this? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW! Who could've HANGED my precious Helen? Who could have killed her?!?
Isiah Zombie: ...There's a note on her... it reads, "To destroy the dancer's gem. Leave her hanging on a rope. An effigy symbolizing power. The final action that crushes hope."
Admiral Donutz: AAGHH! WHO DID THIS??
Isiah Zombie: ...The other side reads, "To take away his most valuable possesion. The one he claims as humble. Seeing the international vying for revenge. Stirring a crumble that will cause a rumble."
Monkeysarefunny: That sounds eerily familiar...
Isiah Zombie: Yeah... I'm certain it was that Phantom Dominion.
Admiral Donutz: I must get my revenge on him! I MUST!
Isiah Zombie: Well you certainly have a reason to...
Monkeysarefunny: Hey, don't forget about me! I have a reason to get my revenge on that ghost too! Like, because of him, Julia no longer likes me... and also he took possession of my body...
Isiah Zombie: So? He didn't mess with your body at all. You're still alive and well.
Monkeysarefunny: Yeah, but I don't like it when other people have control over me like that. It pisses me off.
Isiah Zombie: Hmm... how are we supposed to take that Phantom down?
Monkeysarefunny: Wait, you caught the whole incident on tape, right?
Isiah Zombie: Yeah...?
Monkeysarefunny: We can send the tape to the army and they can track him down! OH YEAH! SLAP IT HIGH!
Isiah Zombie: I don't think ghosts appear on tape.
Monkeysarefunny: Shu-shut up...
20 minutes later, back on the main set...
Director Rockhammer: My set is completely ruined! There goes my horror film! I can't do a movie now
! Especially not with all of this bad publicity!Julia Darwin: You could just make a documentary about how bad your initial movie went.
Director Rockhammer: What in the world are you talking about? ...WAIT! You may be onto something! Yeah, I like that idea! *runs off*
*trio walks back to main set*
Isiah Zombie: So... what happened to Rashidi?
Julia Darwin: He's with the medics. He'll be alright.
Admiral Donutz: WE'RE WASTING TIME! We need to hunt down that Phantom and I must get my revenge!
Monkeysarefunny: Shh... quiet down, Donutz. Don't make a scene.
Admiral Donutz: C'mon! Get wild like me!
Monkeysarefunny: No, I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
Admiral Donutz: Well, I heard there's medicine for people like you... *walks off*
Julia Darwin: I'll be staying with Rashisi. Is that alright with you, Monkey?
Monkeysarefunny: Dandy, very dandy...
Julia Darwin: Okay, see ya... *walks away*
Monkeysarefunny: Okay! Goodbye hooker lady!
Isiah Zombie: Shh! Don't say stuff like that or I'll put you back in the trunk!
Monkeysarefunny: Well I don't care what she thinks about me anymore. I apparently lost her to that Hip-Hoppin' Rashidi guy.
Isiah Zombie: And I apparently like to take drugs. Is it time for your medication or mine?
Monkeysarefunny: Holy crap! I just remembered that today is my birthday!
Isiah Zombie: So?
Monkeysarefunny: So that new Hip-Hop froaster just came out. Now with EVEN BIGGER FRO!
Isiah Zombie: And...?
Monkeysarefunny: Well, let's just say I know what I want for a present.
*paramedics pass by with Rashidi on a stretcher*
Rashidi: You... you there!
Isiah Zombie: Oh, hey Rashidi. Thanks for saving Julia from that electric blast that Monkey shot just 30 minutes ago.
Rashidi: No problem... *cough* ...happens all the time in Zimbabwe.
Isiah Zombie: Really? I thought maybe-
Rashidi: -LISTEN! The Phantom has set the plan in motion... no mortal can stop him now...
Monkeysarefunny: Well IZ's sorta immortal, maybe he can stop him?
Rashidi: No, there is only one way to kill the Phantom for good. We must use... VOODOO MAGIK from the old VOODOO LADY!
Isiah Zombie: Go on.
Rashidi: She's very elusive... and it is very hard to get hold of her...
Isiah Zombie: So how do we find her?
Rashidi: Here's her card... *pulls out card from shirt pocket* ...There's the directions. She lives in apartment 3-A.
Isiah Zombie: Sounds like a challenge. Let's move!
Several hours later, on a rainy cold day, Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny and Admiral Donutz are in a run-down apartment complex ...
Isiah Zombie: Okay, here's apartment 3-A. It was a LOT easier than I expected...
Monkeysarefunny: What's that smell?
Admiral Donutz: It's probably those three homeless guys over there...
Homeless Man #1: (holding sign) "Will work for food."
Homeless Man #2: (holding sign) "Will be homeless for food."
Homeless Man #3: (holding sign) "Will work for Food Network."
Isiah Zombie: Huh... so the old Voodoo lady should be in here, right? *knock knock*
Voodoo Lady: *opens door* Yes... I sensed your approach. Please, come in, come in...
Admiral Donutz: Wow, is she psychic?
Monkeysarefunny: I almost had a psychic girlfriend once... but she left me before we met.
*trio walks inside*
Isiah Zombie: Hello, Voodoo Lady, we're here because-
Voodoo Lady: -Because a Phantom from a demon land is planning to take over the world?
Isiah Zombie: Well, yes, and we were wondering if-
Voodoo Lady: -If I could help you out by providing Magik spells and the like?
Isiah Zombie: Umm... yeah, so do you have-
Voodoo Lady: -Have any? No.
Isiah Zombie: But, then-
Voodoo Lady: -Then what was the point of coming here? I am here to tell you that you do not need Magik spells to defeat the Phantom.
Isiah Zombie: So-
Voodoo Lady: -So what do you need in order to save the world? You already have what you need.
Isiah Zombie: I do?
Voodoo Lady: What you need is... self-confidence. The Phantom is driven by fear. You may have heard him say "Feed me fear" in the past.
Isiah Zombie: Um, I think so.
Voodoo Lady: He kills people to make others vie for revenge, and the hatred from revenge fuels him even more.
Isiah Zombie: Wow, you know a lot about this ghost. But I guess the biggest question is-
Voodoo Lady: -Why is the Phantom after you? Zombie, listen. The Phantom has attacked the people who are closest to you. He killed Helen-
Admiral Donutz: -AAAAGH!
Voodoo Lady: -Which has made your Donut friend seek revenge. He has also separated the Monkey from his loved one-
Monkeysarefunny: Why Julia?! Why?
Voodoo Lady: -And he has even killed Archibald the Vampire, which was supposed to make you and Leo become sworn enemies, but it only strengthened your friendship with him.
Isiah Zombie: I see.
Voodoo Lady: But it is you, Zombie, the one he is after. You have something that he wants, and he will destroy the world to get it from you.
Isiah Zombie: And what could that possibly be?
Voodoo Lady: You have the gift of everlasting life! You have died and resurrected! The Phantom wants to harvest your power and bring himself back to life!
Isiah Zombie: Then why doesn't he just strike me instead of everyone closest to me?
Voodoo Lady: Because as much as he needs fear to survive, his ultimate weakness is that he FEARS YOU!
Admiral Donutz: This is heavy.
Isiah Zombie: But, there's other zombies... and mummies... who have the same "gift" I have.
Voodoo Lady: But you are different. You are unique, and in soon time, you will know the truth behind your power!
Monkeysarefunny: So, Voodoo Lady, do-
Voodoo Lady: -Do I provide any sexual services? No, no I don't.
Monkeysarefunny: I wasn't gonna ask that.
Voodoo Lady: Yes, yes you were.
Monkeysarefunny: Dammit...
20 minutes later, outside the apartment complex...
Isiah Zombie: Well, I recorded the whole scene when you were possessed, Monkey. I will send the tape to J2 Global Communications and maybe I'll get hired as a reporter for my awesome camera-reporting skills. That way, the whole world will know what is going on.
Monkeysarefunny: Don't just ignore the fact that today is my birthday.
Admiral Donutz: Don't worry, MAF. We'll just hire Rashidi to perform at your birthday party while you dance to an early 90's hip-hop beat!
Monkeysarefunny: Psh... I don't need to impress you guys. I'm outta here... *walks away*
