Post by Isiah Zombie on Mar 7, 2009 13:46:02 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Poltergeist Portal
Episode: 74
Original Post Date: March 7, 2009
__________________________________________
Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, Admiral Donutz and BigBoss are at IZ's House one day...
Isiah Zombie: Well how do you like me now, guys? I'm the OWNER of J2 Global Communications! I'm finally filthy stinking rich!
Admiral Donutz: That's cool.
BigBoss: Money can't buy you love.
Monkeysarefunny: Meh... you'll never be as rich as me when I finally become a famous movie-star... *turns on TV*
Television : (commercial) Coming to theaters this summer: from Director Rockhammer, the thrilling new documentary of a movie gone horribly bad... now introducing... "BizShow"!
Monkeysarefunny: What the-? A new movie is coming out and I'm not in it?? What madness is this?!
Isiah Zombie: Notice how nobody cares.
Admiral Donutz: Let's see what else is on TV... *changes channel*
Vlad Nyx: (in TV) You cannot escape now!
Monkeysarefunny: Hmm... I think I've seen this episode before.
Vlad Nyx: I've been watching you three very closely for the past three months!
Isiah Zombie: What the hell are you doing in our TV??
Vlad Nyx: Me and Master Dominion need fear to conquer the Earth -- and I know exactly what you fear!
BigBoss: Why is the TV talking to us...?
Vlad Nyx: I've dug deep into the past for this one! So let's have a little fun ;D!
Admiral Donutz: Fffff***!
*everything gets blurry*
Isiah Zombie is lying on the floor in the middle of a zoo during a cold night...
Isiah Zombie: *regains consciousness* ...Whoa... where the hell am I?
Vlad Nyx: *poosh!* This is an alternate dimension that I have created based on your fears. If you can make it out alive, then you can return to your world through the Poltergeist Portal. Luckily, your fears will conquer you by then...
Isiah Zombie: And what exactly am I afraid of?
Vlad Nyx: You'll see in due time. It's just a little unfinished business that you needed to attend to... *vanishes*
Penguin: *appears* IT'S PENGUIN TIME DUDE! Let's SLIDE!
Isiah Zombie: Hey
! I like penguins!Penguin: *gives the flipper* UP YOURS!
Isiah Zombie: Wait a minute... do I know you from somewhere?
Penguin: Quackitty Quack *nods*
Isiah Zombie: Uh-oh... are you that penguin that I met at the zoo a long time ago?
Penguin: Quack.
Isiah Zombie: Hey man, chill out. Don't be so cold. We didn't break the ice the first time. What's in the past is frozen, right?
Penguin: QUACK
! NO ONE LEAVES ME...... NO ONE!Isiah Zombie: I'm not even sure I remember what I did! ...Maybe I should just start running
?Penguin: Quackitty Quack *nods*
Isiah Zombie: Uhhh... oh... OH MAH GAWD! *starts running*
Meanwhile, Monkeysarefunny is the middle of a hospital during a cold night...
Monkeysarefunny: *regains consciousness* Daaamn... am I drunk? Or am I just wasted?
Vlad Nyx: *appears* Muahahaha! Welcome to your worst nightmare!
Monkeysarefunny: It's good to be here.
Vlad Nyx: If you're scared now, just wait until you see what I have in store for you next! *vanishes*
Leprosy Kid: *appears* Hello Monkey.
Monkeysarefunny: Hello.
Leprosy Kid: Let's assume, hypothetically speaking, that you wanted to convince a kid that he had leprosy... which would require visible skin lesions...
Monkeysarefunny: All right...
Leprosy Kid: How would you go about getting something that could be mistaken for skin lesions on the person without them being any wiser?
Monkeysarefunny: Well first I would freeze off the skin using liquid gas or treat using a chemical paint -- which would then burn it off.
Leprosy Kid:
Monkeysarefunny: Why? Is that what I did to you?
Leprosy Kid: Yes... and I've been living a horrible life ever since.
Monkeysarefunny: Heh, my bad.
Leprosy Kid: Oh I see how it is... *rubs hands together* ...But every dog has his day! Time for some payback! *slowly walks towards Monkey*
Monkeysarefunny: Don't come near me. Touching me will result in you being chemically castrated.
Meanwhile, Donutz is on a plane during a cold dark night...
Admiral Donutz: *regains consciousness* Wow... where am I?
Vlad Nyx: *poosh!* Are you afraid of flying?
Admiral Donutz: Very much so.
Vlad Nyx: Then pack your parachute and don't look down! *vanishes*
Admiral Donutz:
Uhh... Why am I on a plane?Pilot: Stop talking and put on your parachute! You're going to be deployed into war!
Admiral Donutz: War? W-What war...?
Pilot: The dancing wars! The Allies from the west have started a breakdancing battle against the Juggernauts of the east!
Admiral Donutz: But I usually forget how to dance when I fear of death!
Pilot: Just watch Soul Train and do what you see.
Admiral Donutz: You mean flail my arms wildly forcing everyone to make a circle around me?
Pilot: Exactly.
Admiral Donutz: Oh, I get "it" now. But now that I've got "it," I don't want "it" anymore.
Pilot: Just dance around in spandex, go through a mid-life crisis, and then dance your way to the buffet.
Admiral Donutz: But I don't really want to...
Pilot: *throws parachute at Donutz* This is the drop-off point! Have a nice fall! *kicks Donutz out of plane*
Admiral Donutz: (falling out) Ahhhhaaaahhh.......
Pilot: Hmm... I wonder how it long it takes to fall from 13,000 feet... I suppose that depends on whether or not your parachute opens...
Meanwhile, BigBoss is in the middle of a pet store during a cold night...
BigBoss: *regains consciousness* What just happened...? Was I in another backdoor plumbing tape?
Vlad Nyx: *appears* Muahahaha! All of the Zombie's friends must fear me now!
BigBoss: Who the hell are you?
Vlad Nyx: I am the last thing you'll ever see! After your worst nightmare, of course! *vanishes*
BigBoss: And why am I in a pet store?
Wendo: *appears* GWAACK! Polly wanna cracker!
BigBoss: Wendo? ...Is that you?
Wendo: NO YOU IDIOT! GWAACK!
BigBoss: But didn't I eat you already?
Wendo: GWACK! **** you!
BigBoss: But it was a mistake... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to.
Wendo: GWACK! BigBoss wanna cracker!
BigBoss: Can I make it up to you?
Wendo: GWAAAACK! Polly wanna cracker!
BigBoss: You're not going to haunt me for the rest of my life, are you?
Wendo: NO YOU IDIOT! GWAACK!
BigBoss: .......Oh, okay, good, because I thought you were.
Wendo: GWACK! Moron...
BigBoss: WHAT WAS THAT
? Did I hear you call me a moron? Just be a good bird and don't mess with me, kay luv?Wendo: GWAAAACK! *flies towards BigBoss*
BigBoss: SHIVER ME TIMBERS! Time to kill two stones with one bird!
10 minutes, Isiah Zombie is hiding behind a rock from the penguin...
Isiah Zombie: Man, I barely managed to escape that penguin...
Penguin: (under rock) NO ONE LEAVES ME...... NO ONE!
Isiah Zombie: Ahhh! What are you doing here? Please spare my life! Because... because it's my birthday! Yeah!
Penguin: Do you know what we penguins sing for birthdays? We sing, "Freeze a jolly good fellow!"
Isiah Zombie: Uh-oh... you're not gonna eat me, are you?
Penguin: No, I've already had an iceberger. But my army of "death-guins" would like to take a stab at you!
Isiah Zombie: Umm......... IT'S PENGUIN TIME DUDE! Let's SLIDE!
Penguin: Huh...?
Isiah Zombie: Then afterwards, we can go get some ICE CREAM
! Then... you can lead me to the Poltergeist Portal! I'll be the Emperor Penguin you never had!Penguin: *sniff* ...You'd do that for me? Okay then! Let's SLIDE!
Meanwhile, Monkeysarefunny has Leprosy Kid in a strangle hold...
Monkeysarefunny: *choking leprosy kid* ...Who sent you here?
Leprosy Kid: *cough cough* No one! *cough*
Monkeysarefunny: What is your name?? Tell me!
Leprosy Kid: *cough* ...Curtis... *cough* CURTIS!
Monkeysarefunny: ..."Curtis"? Hey... I know you! Didn't we meet in the Vietnam war?
Curtis: *cough* ...Let go of my neck!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh, sorry... *lets go* ...Didn't we meet in the Vietnam war? You know, with Damian and the Drill Sergeant?
Curtis: Yes... but then you chemically damaged me! And then you left us! You just abandoned us to be left hanging upside down!
Monkeysarefunny: But on a scale from one to ten on the awesome scale, I'm like a sixteen! I had to look out for number one!
Curtis: Listen, I was sent here by a ghost demon... he said he would reward me if I scared you... then he went inside something he called the "Poltergeist Portal."
Monkeysarefunny: Lead me there -- that way, we'll finally be even for what I did to you in Vietnam all those years ago!
Curtis: O-Okay... *leads Monkey to portal*
Meanwhile, Donutz is falling from the sky...
Admiral Donutz: (falling down) Ahhhhaaaahhh! *splashes into water*
Native Dancer: Oi! Allow me to rescue you!
Admiral Donutz: (under water) ...I allow! *gurgle gurgle*
Native Dancer: *drags Donutz out from water* Ciò era abbastanza una caduta! Are you alright?
Admiral Donutz: *cough* ...My head hurts... where am I?
Native Dancer: The ancient scripture tells of a dancer who falls from the sky in seek of a mystic portal... are you the messiah the legends speak of? And if so, can you prove it?
Admiral Donutz: Perhaps I could... *does the peanut butter jellytime dance*
Native Dancer: Ah yes! The holy grail of Godly dances! Yes, yes! The Poltergeist Portal is this way! *leads the way*
Meanwhile, BigBoss has bird crap on his head...
BigBoss: (has Wendo trapped in a corner) There was once a time where a bird crapped on my head. So I jumped up and grabbed it by the neck, held it under my ass, and took a giant dump.
Wendo: GWAACK!
BigBoss: *grabs Wendo* AND NOW IT'S TIME TO DO THE SAME TO YOU!
Wendo: GWAACK! I know the way out!
BigBoss: Wuhtufuh? You're talking now?
Wendo: Ahem... I believe I overheard the phantom mention an escape through an intriguing device known as the "Poltergeist Portal." He seems to have left a trail there. If you allow me to, I shall lead the way.
BigBoss: ...
Wendo: I am not an actual bird, but rather, a bird created in an alternate dimension to produce fear into feeding the power of phantoms.
BigBoss: ...
Wendo: Now, let's go get you through that portal and back to where you came from!
One hour later, right in front of the portal, IZ and Monkey are waiting for the others...
Isiah Zombie: So... how was your day?
Monkeysarefunny: I met up with an old friend. We started fighting, but we ended up hugging it out.
Native Dancer: *approaches* Here it is, oh Godly one!
Admiral Donutz: Hey thanks for leading the way! I owe you one!
Native Dancer: Don't mention it! Continue your quest on saving the world with the power of dance! *walks away*
Isiah Zombie: So... how was your day?
Admiral Donutz: I fell out of a plane, but I landed in some water so I'm good now.
Wendo: *approaches* Here it is, BigBoss! My hunch of the cracker trail was right! Polly wanna cracker! GWACK!
BigBoss: ...
Wendo: Moron... *flies away*
Isiah Zombie: So... how was your day?
BigBoss: ...I have no idea what the **** is going on here...
Isiah Zombie: Well, we're all here. Shall we enter the portal and return back home?
Monkeysarefunny: Hell yeah! Let's get out of here.
Isiah Zombie: Okay! IT'S PENGUIN TIME DUDE! Let's SLIDE! *the four walk through portal*
Vlad Nyx: *appears with Dominion* Master Dominion, the plan is nearing the final stage.
Dominion Phantom: The plan to conquer Earth is now in motion. Our enemy and prey have entered our portal. There is no escape. They have entered through deciet and shall perish in flames.
Vlad Nyx: Muahahaha! They thought they were headed back home -- but little did they know, they have just entered OUR WRATH! Muahahaha!
