Post by Isiah Zombie on Mar 14, 2009 19:06:17 GMT -8
The Zombie Guy Show
Doomsday Liberator
Episode: 75
Original Post Date: March 14, 2009
__________________________________________
Isiah Zombie, Monkeysarefunny, Admiral Donutz, BigBoss, w00tdude, Mdiddy, Wendy, Grandmama, Pedro and Julia Darwin are all at the Skeleton Bar...
Isiah Zombie: What did I miss? Why is Donutz leaving us?
BigBoss: No one knows, not even himself. He's just getting a boat ready and planning to sail away.
Isiah Zombie: What the-? When did this happen? And where's Monkey?
w00tdude: -He's trying to convince Donutz to come back!
Mdiddy: Hey Zombie Man! Did you save the world or what? The sky is still black!
Isiah Zombie: Yeah... I just finished a few minutes ago. It was pretty intense, though...
*everything gets blurry*
Several hours earlier, in the dark dimension inside the Poltergeist Portal... IZ, Monkey, Donutz and BB wander around aimlessly...
Isiah Zombie: Where are we? I thought that Poltergeist Portal was supposed to take us back home?
Monkeysarefunny: Nice going IZ. You managed to fail even more... MAN WAS NOT MADE TO FAIL THIS HARD!
Isiah Zombie: Freak out on me, why dontcha.
Admiral Donutz: This place looks like it's some sort of dark graveyard...
BigBoss: You three! Stop acting like big-ass babies! We're all real men, right? Just hold onto your balls and kill anything that moves!
Monkeysarefunny: Heh... BB with his condscend.....osity.
*Vlad Nyx appears*
Vlad Nyx: Muahahaha! Welcome to OUR WRATH!
Isiah Zombie: Where is this place? Is this another one of your sick alternate dimensions?
Vlad Nyx: You guessed right, Zombie! Except for one thing... this is not just any alternate dimension -- this is what Earth will be like in ONE DAY!
Admiral Donutz: One day? Fffff***!
Vlad Nyx: The more people fear, the more it strengthens our phantom powers. The more people want revenge, the more it fuels our desires.
Monkeysarefunny: Get to the point.
Vlad Nyx: The Zombie has something Master Dominion needs -- and that is everlasting life! Master Dominion will destroy all of Earth to get it! ...However, there is one way to save planet Earth...
BigBoss: Is that by kicking your ass?
Vlad Nyx: No. The one way to save Earth is to sacrifice the chosen one.
Isiah Zombie: And who's the chosen one?
Vlad Nyx: You are, Zombie!
Isiah Zombie: So... let me get this straight: You're willing to destroy Earth to get everlasting life from me -- but, assuming I died, wouldn't that help me save Earth, considering I'm the chosen one who's death would save the world?
Vlad Nyx: Well... perhaps I haven't thought it through...
*Dominion Phantom appears*
Dominion Phantom: *poosh!* Ah....... Zombie, just the man I've been killing to see. Welcome to my dimension. I was just sculpting Earth's eternal nightmare, sorry to keep you waiting.
Isiah Zombie: What exactly do you plan on doing with us??
Dominion Phantom: When I entered your world, I was nothing but a floating spirit who depended on possession and death to promote fear. My true body was dead -- quite the malfunction of mortality -- so I was in search of someone who had the power of everlasting life.
Isiah Zombie: And since I'm a zombie, that makes me the "chosen one"?
Dominion Phantom: I do not need just any zombie. For you see, before you became a zombie, you were quite the mystical being.
Monkeysarefunny: Wait a minute! What is all of this "before you became a zombie" nonsense? IZ, I thought you were always a zombie!
Isiah Zombie: I-I thought so too... I don't really remember much of my past...
Dominion Phantom: The plan is nearing completion. What is the plan, you ask? The plan is for me to possess you and to harvest your power... so that I can live forever and rule this planet whichever way I please!
Isiah Zombie: And why didn't you just do that from the beginning instead of wasting everyone's time?
Dominion Phantom: My spiritual form would not allow me to possess your body on Earth, as you had a sacred aura which protected you from myself. But now look around you -- you have entered through my Poltergeist Portal. There are no limitations on what I can do to you now. The time has come to morph into my true form!
BigBoss: T-True form...? *gulp*
Admiral Donutz: We're not supposed to be afraid, right? We're all manly men, right??
BigBoss: SCREW THIS! If there was ever a time to be afraid, that time is NOW!
Dominion Phantom: WITNESS MY TRUE HORROR! *begins to morph into mythological Argus*
Monkeysarefunny: Umm... I think I'll call everyone I know right now and tell them to start praying for me...
One hour later, back in the normal dimension... w00tdude and Pedro are at the Skeleton Bar...
w00tdude: I wonder where IZ, Monkey and the others are?
Pedro: Are you sure they told us to meet them at THIS bar?
w00tdude: Well... Monkey called an hour ago and told me to start "playing" here... wonder what that means?
Mdiddy: *walks in* ...Hey w00t man. What's up? What's on TV?
w00tdude: Oh nothing, just some lame low-rated movie called BizShow.
Mdiddy: What was that, you little punk? *gets pimping gun*
w00tdude: Teh awwwws!
Pedro: He invited you too?
Mdiddy: Yes, yes he did. The Monkey Man told me he invited everyone he knows. They should all be arriving in 3... 2... 1...
Julia Darwin: *walks in* ...Hello, is Monkey here?
Mdiddy: WOW!
! Look at what we've got here! I'll forget all about my Wendy and get me a piece of this hot stuff!Julia Darwin: What's going on here? Is Monkey alright? He called me and told me to meet here to pray for him. Does anybody know what that's supposed to mean?
w00tdude: Oh THAT'S what he said... Now I feel teh suckish
Grandmama: *walks in* ...Why was I invited to this bar?? Doesn't anybody know I'm a recovering alcoholic?!
w00tdude: Well you don't HAVE to drink-
Grandmama: -NONSENSE! I'll have a bottle of Hennessey's Cognac right this instant!
Zane: *walks in* ...Grandmama? You forgot about me again...
Grandmama: What are you doing here
! I thought I told you to wait for me outside! Do you want to receive another beating from me?Zane: Yes...
Grandmama: ...What was that? Did you say you WANT me to hurt you??
Zane: Y-Yes... that's why I never left the house... even though I easily could have... it was because I like it when you hurt me...
Julia Darwin: Doesn't ANYBODY know why Monkey invited all of us here in the first place??
*sky suddenly goes black*
w00tdude: Whoa! Look outside! It just turned dark! ......Fear! Panic! Catastrophe! Annihilation! AHHHH!
Pedro: What in the hell just happened?
Julia Darwin: Does this have anything to do with Monkey?
Grandmama: Have I been drinking too much?
Zane: ...Was it something I said?
Skelly the Skeleton: *appears behind counter* ...Well guys, it's officially the end of the world as we know it. All drinks on me tonight
!Meanwhile, back inside the Poltergeist Portal... IZ, Monkey, Donutz and BB are chained up to a wall...
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: (deep echo voice) NO RESTRICTIONS BIND ME TONIGHT! MY PREY HAS NO ESCAPE! Everlasting life shall rightfully be mine! My gift to the world shall both darken and shine!
Isiah Zombie: So... does anybody have any ideas on how to get out of here?
Monkeysarefunny: Why the **** am I chained up to a wall?? I didn't do a damn thing wrong! This is all IZ's ****ing fault! *shakes violently* GAAAH!
Admiral Donutz: ...I always knew I was going to die if I hung around you guys long enough - I always knew it.
BigBoss: Dammit IZ! Do something!
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: The plan will finally be complete! *starts glowing skyblue* ...I hereby call upon the spirits of this realm to merge me into the CHOSEN ONE!
Isiah Zombie: Nooooo!
*sound of bat wings*
Admiral Donutz: Did you guys hear that?? That's the sound of the end!
Leo the Vampire: *flies in* ...Stop right there! ...IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR REVENGE!
Monkeysarefunny: Whoa, I always thought those vampire wings were just for show.
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: You Vampire! *roars* ...You do not belong here! You are irrelevant!
Leo the Vampire: I never got revenge for my great-great grandfather Archibald! Welcome to your Judgment Day
!Isiah Zombie: C'mon Leo! Get us out of these chains!
Leo the Vampire: Right, Isiah! *flies around... breaks chains* ...You four should get out of here -- this is just between me and the Phantom!
Admiral Donutz: What are you talking about, Leo? He killed my precious gem! My precious Helen!
Leo the Vampire: Listen up, everyone! ...Everything the Phantom did is just part of an alternate dimension. All the deaths he's caused... all the pain he's induced... all the fear he's instigated... it won't exist if we get rid of him now. Everything will return back to the normal if we can defeat him once and for all!
BigBoss: I have no part in this! I'm out of here! *starts to leave*
Vlad Nyx: You're not going anywhere! I'm make sure you stay in this dimension!
Monkeysarefunny: You know, it's really about time someone kicked your little ghost-ass. Does anybody have any ideas on how to extinguish this guy's flame?
Isiah Zombie: ...Don't look at me.
Monkeysarefunny: IZ, you've pretty much failed all your life... MAN WAS NOT MADE TO FAIL THIS HARD! Fix yourself now!
Isiah Zombie: GAH! FINE!
*POW!*
Monkeysarefunny: Owww..... hey..... I'm purple now. What the heck?
Isiah Zombie: Deal with Vlad Nyx and get your ass out of here!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh... y-yeah! Hey Vlad! It's time for you go on vacation! I'm sending you to MALI-BOO! *PUNCH!*
Vlad Nyx: *gets knocked back* Augh! You think THAT can stop me-
Monkeysarefunny: -SHUT UP! Don't spook until you're spooken to! I am your spooksperson! If you speak again I'll make you a Hoblin Goblin! No more listening to soul music! I forbid you from eating anymore Ghoulash! Today is Frightday!
Isiah Zombie: Get on with it!
Monkeysarefunny: Time for some Whipped Cream on dead-end Boo-berry pie! You don't have a haunting license anymore -- you're just a No-Body! *roundhouse kick!*
Vlad Nyx: AAAAHHHH! *poof!* ... *turns into dust*
Monkeysarefunny: Sweet! Let's get out of here!
*Monkey runs out, with BigBoss and Donutz following through the Poltergeist Portal*
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: No Vlad Nyx? No problem. I have what I need right here. I have the great chosen one to possess!
Isiah Zombie: Well Leo, this is it. The epic battle we knew we'd face. I know that zombies and vampires may be long lost enemies, but tonight, let's break that tradition and make this ghost wish he'd never been a spirit!
Leo the Vampire: Right on, Isiah! Let's take him down!
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: That will not happen. The plan will definitely fulfill completion. That being said, I hope you'll join me in putting some nails in the coffins of the past... and welcoming in a terrifying future! *roars*
Meanwhile, back in the normal dimension... at the Skeleton Bar...
w00tdude: It's dark outside! We're all gonna die
!Pedro: Let go of me! I get violent whenever little kids hug me!
Julia Darwin: I wonder if Monkey is doing okay...
Grandmama: Hey Skeleton bartender! Slide me another Moonshine! It's pefect for the occasion!
Mdiddy: *sigh* ...It's time like these that make you wish you had all your hoes by your side...
Admiral Donutz: *trio runs in* ...Phew! That was close!
BigBoss: I know! That Poltergeist Portal was closing in on us!
Monkeysarefunny: Good thing I kicked Vlad's ass in time.
Julia Darwin: Monkey! There you! You're alright!
Monkeysarefunny: Oh hey... you're here, and so is everyone else.
Mdiddy: So... where's the Zombie Man?
Admiral Donutz: He's busy saving the world... which is good, but, I don't think I can handle these melodramatics anymore. I've always wanted to be a chemist, an electrician, or maybe even a... a sailor!
BigBoss: A sailor? Seriously?
Admiral Donutz: Yes, I'm from Finland and back there I used to sail a lot. I think I'll go set up a boat and sail away... just to get away from it all... more time to think of Helen...
Monkeysarefunny: Yo Donutz. Are you saying you're going to be absent here? ...Just inactive?
Admiral Donutz: The only thing I'm saying is that I'm going to sail away. That's the only thing that I know for certain...
Meanwhile, back inside the Poltergeist Portal...
Isiah Zombie: Luckily, with the money I inherited from being the owner of J2 Global Communications, I purchased myself a big-ass ghost-dispersing Samurai Sword! Hell yeah!
Leo the Vampire: And you just remembered that now?
Isiah Zombie: Heh, yeah...
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: *shining blue* ...TIME TO MERGE! *shoots fireball at IZ* ...TIME TO DIE!
Isiah Zombie: *dodges* ...Guess what? You can't kill me! Because I'm already dead! TAKE THIS! *swings sword at Dominion*
Dominion ARGUS Phantom: *dodges* ...GWAAAAR
! Enough of this! *shoots lightning at IZ*Leo the Vampire: Nooooo! *jumps in front of lightning* ... *KZRK!* ... *gets hit and falls*
Isiah Zombie: LEO!
Leo the Vampire: SAVE YOURSELF! You have mystic powers! Go through the Portal and use them to close the portal and stop this Dominion from ever existing! ...It will also stop ME from ever happenening... but do it ANYWAYS! GO NOW!
Isiah Zombie:
Isiah Zombie runs through the Poltergeist Portal... and uses Voodoo Magic to close the Poltergeist Portal... and five minutes later, Isiah enters the bar...
BigBoss: So IZ, Donutz basically wanted to sail away and that's about it. Now you know what happened while you were gone.
Zane: Yeah! And Donutz gave me Buster! Now I get beat up my own dog!
Admiral Donutz: *enters holding canoe, with Monkey* ...This was all I could find. And no Monkey, you can't change my mind. I'll be leaving and that's it.
Monkeysarefunny: Well do want me to cancel the BBQ suace Apocalypse Day festival just because of you? You are soooo ego-tistic!
*sky turns bright again.... Helen appears in bar*
Helen: *poof!* ...W-What happened?
Admiral Donutz: ...Helen? Is that you? Is that really you??
Isiah Zombie: Wow, I guess Leo was right. Destroying Dominion Phantom really would restore everything back to normal.
Helen: ...What's the matter?
Admiral Donutz: Nothing, nothing is the matter now! *drops canoe and hugs Helen*
Isiah Zombie: Well everything is great! I saved the world, got a ghost-in-a-box souvenir in Dominion, Helen is back alive, and we're all having a good time
!Monkeysarefunny: Stop smiling, you're ruining the moment.
The End
